Hm. This is new.

Well, this is a new feeling. I suddenly feel rather indifferent toward the whole Wes situation.
I haven't seen him for 5 days, since I had to pick up my phone from his apt Sunday morning. He's been in Illinois all week for work (he works for the Church, he's HR for the Welfare farms), and he's actually been doing so good this week, at contacting me and communicating with me during the week, like I asked him to. He texted me "hi :)" on Monday night, which I loved, called me Tues. night and we chatted for about a half hour, and texted me last night (Wed) saying hi, that he hoped I had a good day, that his was long but good, and that he had a big day the next day (today) so he needed to get to bed, so he couldn't chat. But that he would talk to me soon, and "Sweet dreams!" It was really cute, and I really appreciated it. I actually had a pretty busy night last night, with my volleyball game at 7:45, meeting Jamie and Wendy for dessert for Jamie's bday after, and then going to my new job at 10 pm (helping Paul, the quad). So it was fine that Wes didn't call last night, I'm not sure I would have been able to chat either. But I really appreciated his text.

I haven't heard from him today (Thurs), which I'm not concerned about. But I do suddenly feel like if I never saw or heard from him again, I think I'd be okay with that. And that sort of worries me. Not really worries, but makes me wonder how much I really like him then. I think it's because I maybe feel like he has been contacting me mostly or all just because I asked him to, and not necessarily because he wants to. So I think I'm feeling like if he isn't that into me, I guess I'm not that into him. And I think also because I haven't seen him since that big night when he kissed me last Sat. (other than Sun morning for a second, which was kind of awkward), and I'm kind of forgetting him, or why I like him.. I guess. I don't know. And maybe also because as of now, I don't even know if he is planning on doing anything with me this weekend.

I'm not stressed or worried or anxious or anything, it's just a new feeling, this indifference towards Wes. I think something really good could come of us, but are we both willing to put in the effort? Being single certainly is easier in a lot of ways, and I can see things really happening with Wes and I. And I think that scares both of us a little.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. My guess is that he'll call me tomorrow on his way back or something, and either want to see me tomorrow night, or Sat. because he'll be too tired tomorrow. And that things will be good and I'll remember why I like him. At least I kind of hope he calls.