Blessed car conversation with Wendy

I'm especially thankful for Wendy today.

We went camping last night up at Lava Hot Springs, with Jamie's family. So there was Jamie, Wendy, me, Mark, Tron, Keri (Mark's friend), Kaylie Walker, Melanie and Matte and baby Brooke, and their parents. When we left yesterday, I didn't want to go. I was just totally exhausted from going and doing fun things, ironically. I can't think of the last weekend I just stayed home. This summer, and specifically the last month or so, has been so fun, but so much. We have gone and done so many fun things, and Jamie and I have become especially close, but I am getting burned out, and frankly, am glad the summer is almost over. I'm just yeah, exhausted from fun things. I am ready to get back to work, and feel productive and busy again. I'm really hoping to get a job soon (I had an offer the other day, for the BMT unit at LDS, where Maggie and I did our capstones, but then I just didn't feel good about it, so I turned it down.), for multiple reasons, but that's one: to work.

But back to the camping story. So I was just really tired and exhausted from going, going, going, but I couldn't not go, since I had said I wanted to and that I was coming (just the day before, I was excited. Then Jamie and I had a sleepover, which is a common occurance these days, and then I (both of us) was totally lacking sleep, which is pretty much always the case when we have sleepovers.) But, so lack of sleep definitely added to me not being as excited anymore. And there are just so many things I want to do now, at home, projects and stuff, that I would have loved to stay home and work on. Or blogging, for example.

Anyway, I ended up riding up with Wendy, and Jamie drove alone (Wendy was leaving in the morning to go to Twin Falls to her sister's). I felt bad that someone had to drive alone, but I was also really grateful to get to ride with Wendy. It's been a while since we really chatted, just she and I, and Jamie and I have been spending so much time together, often without Wendy. And I also welcomed the time away from Jamie. I love her so much, and she is my best friend, but sometimes I think we almost spend too much time together, and it's just too much. And it had gotten to that point yesterday for me, after our sleepover and everything the night before. And breaks are good, even from good things.

So I was kind of in a bad mood as we left, and Wendy thought it was because I "had" to ride with her (no way was that the reason!), but I told her why I was (just from being exhausted from always going and doing fun things), and that started a really long and great conversation that I'm so grateful for.

As Jamie and I have become closer and closer, and have been spending more time together, just the two of us, Wendy has (not surprisingly) been feeling slightly left out and hurt. Not a ton, but definitely some. Like I said, I wasn't super surprised (I've been wondering if Jamie's and my time together hanging out all the time has been affecting her in a negative way--because, the thing is, to my knowledge, we haven't been purposely leaving her out, we just haven't had to work, or not as much these last two weeks, as Wendy, so we've just had more time to hang out), but I felt really bad about it. Wendy shared some other related frustrations and sources of anxiety, including seeing her and Jamie's friendship changing recently, that she has noticed. She became emotional about it (at one point wondered out loud how I got that out of her..:), and eventually she made me emotional too. Wendy and I both shared feelings about the situation, including me feeling like the time Jamie and I spend together is perhaps becoming too much. She helped me to see some things, including the Jamie thing, in good, fresh perspective, and was also very kind to help me see some things I need to perhaps change (like always being with Jamie, and what that looks like to others, like guys, and how if we keep going like this, we may seem less available, if we're always together, and what not). I really appreciated her honesty with me, about how she's been feeling about the me and Jamie friendship evolving, and about some things I should possibly step back and re-evaluate in my life. That is a true friend. She certainly did it with love.

We also talked about guys, and our possible plans of action, or our next move in seeking a husband. She really wants me to message Aaron Hammond (who is still single), and ask him if he wants to go grab lunch sometime and catch up. I want to, I'm just scared to. We also talked about both getting on Match.com (online dating website), just for a month, with this groupon I got. It's for $5, just for a month I think, so we'll probably both just try it out for a month. I have had absolutely no desire to get back on online dating, until I saw this groupon the other day for Match.com, and it kind of got me thinking about it again. And it became even more appealing when we were talking about both doing it. :)

Anyway, so things have been clarified and are much better with Wendy. She thought that we didn't want her around and stuff, which has NEVER been the case, at least not with me. I absolutely love the girl, and love having her around, anytime! I'm so sad that she has felt that way or anything like it, but I'm also so grateful we can be open with each other, and for the healing and repairing and clarification that took place her in car on the way to Lava yesterday. We were texting some tonight and I told her that I feel like that conversation, and getting to ride with just her yesterday, was an answer to unspoken prayers, and that I am so grateful for the ride. I realized it was an answer to some spoken prayers as well. What a blessing it was, and that she is in my life.

Best Friends

Jamie and Wendy.
I am so blessed to have these girls as my best friends. I have known them for over a year now, and we have so much fun together and they haven't gotten sick of me yet, which is a blessing in itself. :)

But seriously, they are the best. Jamie is my best friend, but Wendy is a close second. Jamie is 28 (I'm 26 now, close to 27..) and Wendy just turned 32. They are roommates and I am kind of the third roommate. I stay over there frequently, I even have a toothbrush that stays there in their holder on the bathroom counter. We have done so many fun things together this summer, including Ragnar, Idaho for the 4th of July, the Drive-In, snow cones, dollar movies, sleeping outside, many a sleepover, feeding the missionaries, sleeping at Grandma's in Huntsville and boating at Pineview, and many a sleepover. We made this "Summer O' Fun 2013" list at the beginning of the summer, and we have done quite a few things on there. Some things just Jamie and I have done, but it's been a busy, fun-packed summer with these girls. And they have been so supportive of me through nursing school, including making sure to include celebrating my graduation at Wendy's birthday party, since they were on the same day. Jamie even made me a nurse cake to have with Wendy's watermelon cake we made her. They're honestly the best.

Tonight Jamie came with me to the smores party that Kat (in our ward) invited me to. Jamie's brother, Mark, who I love, went too, because he's good friends with Kat's roommates, so we all went over there for a bit, it was fun, met some crazy guys, including one who picked up and cradled Jamie like a baby and kissed her on the cheek..haha. And then we went to my house, grabbed some cookies that were on the counter, threw them in baggies, and then delivered them to and visited Carolyn Clements and Ali (I forget her last name) in our ward, both of whom have been in need today.

Then we went back to Jamie's (with the pitcher of homemade raspberry ice cream I stole from our freezer) and she baked some really yummy cookies real quick that she had the dough for, and we had cookies and ice cream while we all chatted about Wendy possibly buying a house in the near future, my blind date on Tues, them following us there and eating in the same restaurant (ha!), being done with singles wards, needing change, and the frustrations of not finding marriage.

Wendy, like I said, just turned 32, and it's been hard for her, I think she's feeling much older and more anxious to get married. She expressed a lot of frustrations and feelings to us, and cried as she did, and it just broke my heart. I was tearing up with her, because she just wants to badly, SO badly, to be a wife and mother. She desires to be a mom so much, and is so faithful and such an incredible person. She will make an incredible wife and mother, and it is so hard to see her want it so bad and not be able to enjoy those blessings yet. And to not know why.

Jamie has similar concerns, but she is a few years behind Wendy in age. But I found out tonight that she (Jamie) is now fasting every Sunday until she either finds a new job or husband.

We are all happy and have a lot of fun together, but we each have a definite desire to be married. They do stronger than I do, I think, probably because I have been busy with school for so long, I haven't had as much time to focus on or want that as much. But these girls, they are so amazing, both of them. Beautiful, spiritual, educated, fun, athletic, talented, easy going. It's so hard to see them want something so righteous as marriage and motherhood, and not be able to have it right now, and not know why.

But I sure am grateful for the time I get with them, they are two of my very favorite people to spend time with, and I am so blessed because they are in my life.

Done with nursing school!!!!!

So guess what. I finished nursing school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What?!?!?! Crazy!!!!!!!
Yes, I don't think it has totally sunk in completely that I am done, totally done with school, but alas, I am! I finished about a week and a half ago, and it feels SOO good to be done! I still have to study for, take, and pass the NCLEX, but I would much rather do that than have lots of little busy-work assignments that we've been assigned for the last many months. I did enjoy nursing school, made a lot of really great friends, and learned a lot. Although I joke now that I feel like I didn't  learn anything, ha. But in reality, I did learn a lot. I certainly don't feel like I know enough to go be an actual nurse now, but I am confident that will come with time, once I do start working.

So now I am just studying (starting to..), applying and interviewing for jobs, and doing things I haven't had time to for the last while, like cleaning and journaling, and blogging (need to start that soon..). We are also cramming in many fun things here in the last month of summer, now that I have more time (and by "we" I mean Jamie, Wendy, and I). For example, this past weekend Jamie and I went up to Huntsville and stayed overnight at Grandma's (way fun!), and then four more friends (Wendy, Rob, Haidyn, and Nick) came up early the next morning (yesterday) and Bryce took us boating over at Pineview. It was a blast! Bryce was so nice to do that for us, I was so grateful! Holden came too, which was fun to have him along. He didn't say a whole lot, and we couldn't convince him to ski, but he seemed to think we were funny every now and then. :)

So yeah, loving this done-with-school life! I thought I would be more sad or miss it more by now, but it's just been nice. I do miss seeing my school friends, like Maryn and Maggie especially (and Elisa and Jessica), but it still feels like I'll see them again soon. Some of them I may, but Maggie now lives in VA. She moved the day we were done, got in the car after our last final (Spanish), and started driving to VA with her husband, Al. That was sad to say goodbye to her. No tears, but it's a bummer that she's so far away. But we've been texting and I think we'll stay in touch pretty good, she and I. For that I am very thankful. I really like Maggie and really think a lot of her. She and I became really good friends, and I was always very flattered that she liked me so much as a friend. She's beautiful and so nice and patient and forgiving. I love Maggie.

Maryn I will see soon, she is getting married in a couple weeks, so that will be fun to see her at her reception at least (I was hoping to get an invite to the actual sealing, but no such luck. Bummer. But it's okay, they probably have a lot of family coming or something, so no worries.) and we've been texting some in the last few days (she texted me a few days ago and said, "Hey! What's new! I'm having Melissa withdrawals!" It was so sweet, I loved it!), so I'm really glad we're keeping in touch. We also started a friends blog the last day of school (Maggie started it), so hopefully that will help us all stay in touch too. I love those girls.