I worked yesterday and today, and I am in week 5 of orientation (U of U Hospital), I think. Yesterday I was with Chelsie again, this time a full 12 hr shift, which I was kind of dreading, but it turned out so good! Night and day difference from the other day when I was with her. She had me take all 4 of our pts, and the day went by so fast because of that, it was so great!
Then today I was with Andrea, who I love as a nurse, and an orienter! She was so great! And the day was so great, for so many reasons:
-I felt cute
-Although at the beginning of the shift I was a little self conscious of my hair, mostly because Cody, that cute nurse (who I think, am hoping, is LDS..) who I'm becoming friends with, was there (had worked the night), and was around me, giving some of his patients to us. Anyway, these two girls, lab techs or phlebotomists, I think, randomly said to me, "Your hair is really cute!" I was just sitting at a computer, listening to someone else conversation behind me, and I turned around as they are saying this to me, and it totally made my day!
-I only had 2 pts at first, but was able to stay on top of things with just 2, and felt much more organized than I did yesterday with all 4
-I did the whole discharge process today for the first time, with one of my pts, and am so happy that I know that now
-I took 2 admits, and basically admitted them all myself (with help on the first one from Andrea). Again, I am so thrilled to feel like I know the processes of admitting and discharging now, and am not afraid of those! Yay!
-Andrea was an awesome orienter. She is a great nurse, really chill, a great teacher, answered all my questions, taught me things in a way that is so easy to understand, was willing to help me with anything anytime, and always made sure I was doing okay, but left me to my own to take care of my pts. It was such a great shift!
-Cody worked again tonight, which I knew he did b/c I asked him this morning if he was back tonight, so I was looking forward to seeing him again all day, and I did. Unfortunately he wasn't taking any of my pts, a couple of Andrea's, but for the first time I didn't accompany my nurse to give report on her pts, I think because I really hadn't helped her at all with her two. And I was working on some last minute charting too. He and I didn't really talk, but I smiled at him, and it was fun to at least see him. He is very cute. I hope he has a little longer on our floor (he's from Resource, just assigned to our floor for a little while).
-The two people that texted me while I was at work were Jamie and Andy, the two people I would have loved a text from most. I went out with Andy the other night, he came up here and we went to dinner, the Wilford stake play, and then came home here and had hot chocolate and watched Studio C vidoes on youtube for a while after. It was really fun and comfortable, a great date. So I've been more fond of him lately and was happy that he texted me today.
-I don't have to work tomorrow
-And IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!! I'm turning 27, which is so weird. So old. Yet, not. Last night Wendy was like, "you are so young. SO young." I feel old, but she is 32. That's a little rough, I'm sure. To still be single. But life sure doesn't happen how you always plan, that's for sure. I definitely never thought I'd still be single as I turned 27. Yet it's also weird to think of being married..
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Things are much better, I am coping better, haha
So Jamie and I got through this last week successfully. I am doing much better now, I think I was partly just on my period and having an emotional couple of days, and that just exacerbated my emotional state. But after a couple days, and staying at Rosanna's house making our gingerbread creation for the Festival of Trees (good to get my mind off everything, get out of my head, and do something totally fun and distracting with Rosanna), I felt much better about everything. I took Jamie to Shiver's that Tues night and we got shakes and food, my treat, and then we went and hung out at her house. I ended up staying over, we watched the 3rd and 4th discs of North and South, watched highlights of The Voice that I had missed, and then stayed awake for hours in her bed talking. Greatly about how hard it has been for both of us when the other has seemingly started to date someone. We both have felt the exact same. We talked about how we could possibly make it easier, but how it also will probably just be hard, when one or both of us really starts dating someone seriously. It will be good, and we know it's a good thing and what we want, but it's certainly going to be an adjustment, regardless. We basically do everything together, and we rarely go a day without seeing each other. And if we don't see each other, we most definitely are texting at least. I love her so much, there just aren't words to describe. When I wrote on here a while ago and said I hope she gets married first, that's still true (if we can't get married at the same time), but I said it was partly because I feel like I can be happy single easier than she can. Not in a bad way, I just think it's true. But I have since changed my mind. I wasn't very good at all last week at being happy feeling single and alone, without her. It was really hard. And again, I think I was emotional anyway which made it seem worse, but I do think, and know, that it's going to be hard, not spending this much time together eventually.
I told her that night in her bed, that if it weren't for the marriage thing being a commandment and what not, I really feel like we could be happy like this for a long long time. Just being best friends and traveling and stuff together, for years. We have that much fun together. And she agreed.
It is an amazing relationship we have, I've never had a best friend like her, or a relationship like this. It's hard to imagine being this close to a guy, close enough to want to marry them.
I just love her.
I told her that night in her bed, that if it weren't for the marriage thing being a commandment and what not, I really feel like we could be happy like this for a long long time. Just being best friends and traveling and stuff together, for years. We have that much fun together. And she agreed.
It is an amazing relationship we have, I've never had a best friend like her, or a relationship like this. It's hard to imagine being this close to a guy, close enough to want to marry them.
I just love her.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Jamie's new boyfriend. This is hard.
So Jamie and I have become better friends than I ever could have imagined. She is definitely my best friend, but the best best friend that I've ever had. We practically do everything together, I pretty much never get sick of her, she has a way of cheering me up when I'm in a bad mood (hard to do) and getting me out of my funk, and she is the most considerate, thoughtful person I think I have ever personally known. She's amazing, and she's amazing to me.
A while ago, in fact I think I wrote about this, I felt like I would be fine when she started dating someone, and I hoped that she would first because I felt like I was better able to be happy alone than she is, and I didn't think it would be super hard for me.
Well, turns out I was wrong. She's been starting to date this guy, Paul, from Tinder, but just on Saturdays. He's so busy with full time school and work that that's the only day he can go out. And they seems to really click and he sounds like a pretty good guy (besides his lack of making any phone calls to her on his own..we still are trying to look past it. But it's annoying.). They went out on date #4 last night, and I went to bed (semi) early, due to having to work again today, 12 hour shift, and as I was going to sleep, it just hit me that this might be it, and I started to silently cry. Only a few few tears, for I quickly pulled myself together and went to sleep, but I have been realizing the last few days and little while that when she starts dating someone seriously, or now I'm realizing at all maybe, it's going to be really hard for me.
Tonight on my way home from work I was going to stop at her (and Wendy's) apt, like I have a couple times already after work, to hear about the date last night and catch up (haven't seen her since Friday, which seems like forever since we usually see each other every day, or nearly). But she said she would talk to me in just a bit (in response to my text asking her what she was doing as I was leaving work). And as I was driving home, it hit me again, that when she starts really dating him, or anyone, it will be really hard for me. And I began to cry again, and pray to Heavenly Father, asking Him to help me cope and get through it, and to help me be so happy for her.
I just heard from her again, a few hours later, and Paul had in fact come over to her apt and finally kissed her. This is really exciting, and I'm totally faking being excited (via texting her right now), but I'm struggling right now. This is really hard. It's hard not to be jealous. She has so much fun with him, loves being with him, and it has been sooo long since I've met an eligible guy that I can say that about. Sometimes, like right now, I feel like I'm never going to get married. That I'm never going to find a guy that is impressive and that I love spending time with and just want to be with all the time, AND am attracted to. For example, there's still Andy, and I think he is still interested in dating if I wanted to (right now we just message every now and then on fb), and he's a really impressive guy, but I don't know if he's someone I could want to be with all the time and love spending time with, as well as sometimes I'm not sure how physically attractive he is to me. Sometimes I feel like that combo is next to impossible. And some days that's fine. But right now that's really discouraging.
I pray that I can be happy for Jamie, even if I have to fake it for a while. Because I think this may only get harder. But I love her so much and she wants this so bad, and she deserves it. She will make an incredible wife, and an amazing mother. And I want her to get to enjoy those blessings.
But the selfish part of me wants us to both just stay single and like this forever, because we are so close and have SO much fun together.
This is hard.
A while ago, in fact I think I wrote about this, I felt like I would be fine when she started dating someone, and I hoped that she would first because I felt like I was better able to be happy alone than she is, and I didn't think it would be super hard for me.
Well, turns out I was wrong. She's been starting to date this guy, Paul, from Tinder, but just on Saturdays. He's so busy with full time school and work that that's the only day he can go out. And they seems to really click and he sounds like a pretty good guy (besides his lack of making any phone calls to her on his own..we still are trying to look past it. But it's annoying.). They went out on date #4 last night, and I went to bed (semi) early, due to having to work again today, 12 hour shift, and as I was going to sleep, it just hit me that this might be it, and I started to silently cry. Only a few few tears, for I quickly pulled myself together and went to sleep, but I have been realizing the last few days and little while that when she starts dating someone seriously, or now I'm realizing at all maybe, it's going to be really hard for me.
Tonight on my way home from work I was going to stop at her (and Wendy's) apt, like I have a couple times already after work, to hear about the date last night and catch up (haven't seen her since Friday, which seems like forever since we usually see each other every day, or nearly). But she said she would talk to me in just a bit (in response to my text asking her what she was doing as I was leaving work). And as I was driving home, it hit me again, that when she starts really dating him, or anyone, it will be really hard for me. And I began to cry again, and pray to Heavenly Father, asking Him to help me cope and get through it, and to help me be so happy for her.
I just heard from her again, a few hours later, and Paul had in fact come over to her apt and finally kissed her. This is really exciting, and I'm totally faking being excited (via texting her right now), but I'm struggling right now. This is really hard. It's hard not to be jealous. She has so much fun with him, loves being with him, and it has been sooo long since I've met an eligible guy that I can say that about. Sometimes, like right now, I feel like I'm never going to get married. That I'm never going to find a guy that is impressive and that I love spending time with and just want to be with all the time, AND am attracted to. For example, there's still Andy, and I think he is still interested in dating if I wanted to (right now we just message every now and then on fb), and he's a really impressive guy, but I don't know if he's someone I could want to be with all the time and love spending time with, as well as sometimes I'm not sure how physically attractive he is to me. Sometimes I feel like that combo is next to impossible. And some days that's fine. But right now that's really discouraging.
I pray that I can be happy for Jamie, even if I have to fake it for a while. Because I think this may only get harder. But I love her so much and she wants this so bad, and she deserves it. She will make an incredible wife, and an amazing mother. And I want her to get to enjoy those blessings.
But the selfish part of me wants us to both just stay single and like this forever, because we are so close and have SO much fun together.
This is hard.
Great (orientation) shift!
This is my 3rd Sunday in a row that I've had to work a 12-hour shift, and I still have 2 more in a row,.....wait, I just realized I only have one more and then I get a Sunday off..! Yes!!
Anyway, I don't love working Sundays, obviously, but there are good things about working them: less people on the floor (no admin, etc), you can park anywhere (on weekends--awesome), things like that.
Today I was with Malisa again, who I've actually come to really like as my main preceptor for orientation at the U (hospital). She's been really great. She's been good at letting me do more and more. So things were great with her, she had me take 3 out of our 5 patients, which was the first time I've taken 3 on a day shift, and things went really well! I felt like I was able to stay on top of things more than I ever have (which wasn't completely, but it was progress..!), I felt like I did and asked things to the patients out of my own critical thinking (i.e. "When was the last time you bathed..?"), and I got to take the Sacrament! I happened to catch these two guys, dressed in suits, clearly the Mormons taking the Sacrament around, and we went in the break room and they both said a prayer and administered it to me. It was pretty neat, and I was really grateful. Turns out they will come do that each week around 11:30, I guess. Hopefully I can catch them again this next Sunday.
There were other great things...oh, I finally faced my fear of good looking guys, and met this other new nurse that's been on the floor. Cody. Turns out he's actually really nice and friendly. And he graduated from the U just the semester before me, in May. And now I feel like we are friends. I hope I see him more, I liked him.
And everyone working that shift was great, really friendly. Colline, my favorite aide, was working, and on our end! And she had all my patients, loved that. Oh, and after I didn't get to try starting an IV on another nurse's patient because Erin, the charge nurse, beat me to it (she didn't know I wanted to try), Malisa let me practice on her, and I got it in right away! She was so great to let me practice.
It was just a really great day, gave me hope that one day I can be on my own, and made me really glad I am a nurse. I am really liking my job! Oh, AND we left before 8! Wow!!
Anyway, I don't love working Sundays, obviously, but there are good things about working them: less people on the floor (no admin, etc), you can park anywhere (on weekends--awesome), things like that.
Today I was with Malisa again, who I've actually come to really like as my main preceptor for orientation at the U (hospital). She's been really great. She's been good at letting me do more and more. So things were great with her, she had me take 3 out of our 5 patients, which was the first time I've taken 3 on a day shift, and things went really well! I felt like I was able to stay on top of things more than I ever have (which wasn't completely, but it was progress..!), I felt like I did and asked things to the patients out of my own critical thinking (i.e. "When was the last time you bathed..?"), and I got to take the Sacrament! I happened to catch these two guys, dressed in suits, clearly the Mormons taking the Sacrament around, and we went in the break room and they both said a prayer and administered it to me. It was pretty neat, and I was really grateful. Turns out they will come do that each week around 11:30, I guess. Hopefully I can catch them again this next Sunday.
There were other great things...oh, I finally faced my fear of good looking guys, and met this other new nurse that's been on the floor. Cody. Turns out he's actually really nice and friendly. And he graduated from the U just the semester before me, in May. And now I feel like we are friends. I hope I see him more, I liked him.
And everyone working that shift was great, really friendly. Colline, my favorite aide, was working, and on our end! And she had all my patients, loved that. Oh, and after I didn't get to try starting an IV on another nurse's patient because Erin, the charge nurse, beat me to it (she didn't know I wanted to try), Malisa let me practice on her, and I got it in right away! She was so great to let me practice.
It was just a really great day, gave me hope that one day I can be on my own, and made me really glad I am a nurse. I am really liking my job! Oh, AND we left before 8! Wow!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
My first IV
Guess what! I started my first IV on a real patient at my first real job last night! And I got it in on the first attempt! It was so exciting!!
Bill was my orienter last night, and he was great to coach me through it, and the patient was so great too, to be patient as I was getting it in. I've had him three days now this week, and he's great, I really like the guy (George Coles).
Bill was my orienter last night, and he was great to coach me through it, and the patient was so great too, to be patient as I was getting it in. I've had him three days now this week, and he's great, I really like the guy (George Coles).
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