Ugh, I should be starting my homework right now, but I'm so irritated at all the Liberals in this election right now. It's a huge election this year, Oboma vs Romney, and heaven help us if Oboma wins a 2nd term. But last night was the 2nd presidential debate, and the liberals all say that Oboma totally won, including all the nurses talking about it in shift report this morning, and saying negative things about Romney. And I was just reading an article about the debate, and then comments, mostly from Liberals who don't like Romney, and it's so frustrating! It's so frustrating that people are so blind to what a terrible leader Oboma is! He may be a good person (although a liar, that's for sure), but he is NOT a good leader, and is not who we need to fix our major financial and economic problems in this country right now. Aaah, I just can't stand to hear these things said about Romney, and that people are so blind to his good qualities and experience that we need in a president right now!
Needed to get that out.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
General Conference ANSWER
As a reference, my "question" was: Will I get married in this life? And will I ever date anyone again, in any near future, like while I'm still in my twenties?
So I went into GC fully expecting to get an answer to my question. And I was kind of expecting a "yes," as well as any additional information Heavenly Father wanted to shed on the situation.
Well, I was humbled and very quickly answered, in a way, and reminded that I can't always have an answer, or know what's going to happen. In fact, basically never. But that I need to trust in the Lord and in His timing. There were like 3 or 4 talks that talked about waiting on the Lord, trusting in His timing, and being happy where we are. Pres. Uchtdorf's was the first one, and I remember I was getting ready in my bathroom, listening to it on the radio, I think, when he was speaking, and it hit me pretty hard. That no, HF was not going to give me a yes or a no to my question, that wasn't His plan. That wasn't His will. It wasn't time for me to have an answer to that question, but I needed to trust in Him and His timing, and learn to be happy where I am in my life now, be happy in the present, to stop going through life just waiting for the next thing, and then I will be happy, type of thing. It was really good to hear that from one of our prophets, I needed it. And cool thing is that that (and those) talks made a big impact on a lot of people, but certainly for different reasons. Including Mom. She's been very unhappy with her job, and I'd been helping her try to find other ones to apply to online, and after that talk she said, "Well, I guess that maybe I just need to change my attitude about my job!" It was interesting. I felt like Pres. Uchtdorf's talk was for me, but cool how the Spirit works on each of us differently through the same talk, and that they can apply so well to so many people.
SOOO, I'm just trying to be happy where I am, and not try to just wait to get married. And I of course would love to still, or even date someone, heaven forbid, but my life really is so good right now, I have no reason to complain, so I shan't.
But I LOVED Conference this time! I mean it's always great, but this time, all four sessions were amazing! I was awake through all four, which may have been a first. I think it was because I was doing things a lot of the time, multitasking, which definitely helps.
Anyway, it was an awesome Conference weekend!
So I went into GC fully expecting to get an answer to my question. And I was kind of expecting a "yes," as well as any additional information Heavenly Father wanted to shed on the situation.
Well, I was humbled and very quickly answered, in a way, and reminded that I can't always have an answer, or know what's going to happen. In fact, basically never. But that I need to trust in the Lord and in His timing. There were like 3 or 4 talks that talked about waiting on the Lord, trusting in His timing, and being happy where we are. Pres. Uchtdorf's was the first one, and I remember I was getting ready in my bathroom, listening to it on the radio, I think, when he was speaking, and it hit me pretty hard. That no, HF was not going to give me a yes or a no to my question, that wasn't His plan. That wasn't His will. It wasn't time for me to have an answer to that question, but I needed to trust in Him and His timing, and learn to be happy where I am in my life now, be happy in the present, to stop going through life just waiting for the next thing, and then I will be happy, type of thing. It was really good to hear that from one of our prophets, I needed it. And cool thing is that that (and those) talks made a big impact on a lot of people, but certainly for different reasons. Including Mom. She's been very unhappy with her job, and I'd been helping her try to find other ones to apply to online, and after that talk she said, "Well, I guess that maybe I just need to change my attitude about my job!" It was interesting. I felt like Pres. Uchtdorf's talk was for me, but cool how the Spirit works on each of us differently through the same talk, and that they can apply so well to so many people.
SOOO, I'm just trying to be happy where I am, and not try to just wait to get married. And I of course would love to still, or even date someone, heaven forbid, but my life really is so good right now, I have no reason to complain, so I shan't.
But I LOVED Conference this time! I mean it's always great, but this time, all four sessions were amazing! I was awake through all four, which may have been a first. I think it was because I was doing things a lot of the time, multitasking, which definitely helps.
Anyway, it was an awesome Conference weekend!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Freshman reunion--fun, and hard too; also General Conference QUESTION
So tonight we had a little freshman year reunion, out in South Jordan at Sean's house. Present were Sean and Aubrey and their little boy Abe, Ben, Ryan, Amie and her baby James, Hil and her bf Daniel, and me. Eric was there part of the time via Skype. So we were only missing Cheryl, who ironically, was actually on a plane to Utah when we all got together. No one knew she was even coming to UT until today, otherwise we may have planned the get together for a different day, I don't know.
But it was a lot of fun, so good to all be together and catch up. As I left, my heart began to hurt. That sounds really dumb, but it was because of Ben. He is an amazing guy. And on top of how great he is, he's very physically attractive. Never has he ever shown interest in being more than friends with me, and never has that been a big deal. But tonight, I don't know, maybe it's because we're all older, maybe it's because there are fewer great single guys out there, and any out there come far between, that being around someone like Ben, who I've been friends with for 7 years, makes me really want to date him. To be around him more. I would love to just spend time with him. We get along really well. He's very down to earth, and he has a good sense of humor.
I think also, inside I crave to be close to a man, and I don't really have any guy friends right now. All those guys are huggers, which I've always loved, and it was so so good to hug them. Eric has always been my favorite to hug, then Ben; Sean is up there too, but he's married now, so it's not really the same. But hugging Ben tonight, when we got there, and then when we were all leaving, felt so good. I love him. I really feel like I can say that. I love all those guys. I really do. They are all so great. And you just don't come across such great guys like that every day, who are single.
And about Ben, I felt like he enjoyed being around me, or at least showed it, more tonight than I've ever felt. I know we've always been friends, and he's always liked me as one, but tonight I felt like he looked at me more than I expected. And maybe I just haven't been around him for a while. But it made me feel this little glimmer of hope, and made me really crave that more. To be around him more. So when we all said goodbye and left, I literally felt hurt, my heart hurt. One of those feelings that if I drank, would push me to go drown my pain in drinking. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but I really just would love to spend time with him. He's so great.
I prayed in the car on the way home, and just kind of told HF what I was feeling, and pleaded with Him to help me make sense of this feeling, and to be able to reconcile with it, and to help me feel better, and not hurt. And to perhaps provide something that I would need a date for or something I could invite him to. I really don't have any guy friends up here, really, so if I ever needed a date for something, even regardless of this sudden strong desire to date Ben, he would be a great option. Bummer that he still lives in Provo.
But anyway, so I got home, and I've gotten ready for bed, and I'm feeling better. I would still love to spend more time with him, he's just such a stellar guy. And I just don't meet guys like that hardly ever. But I'm trying not to think about it. And I think part of it is that I'm just really craving male attention, as well as male touch. Seriously, being hugged by those guys, specifically Ben (such good hugs), felt SO good. And I think that just added to the pain, of wanting that in my life so badly.
Tomorrow, this weekend, is General Conference. And my question that I am taking to GC, to get answered, may seem trite. But it's really been weighing on my mind more and more. It is this: Will I get married in this life? And will I ever date anyone again, in any near future, like while I'm still in my twenties? Some days are harder than others, but lately I just feel like I will never date anyone again. The guys who I want to date don't seem to want to date me, I feel so unattractive to guys, I haven't dated anyone for about 2 1/2 years (since Steve).. I'm getting very discouraged and frustrated about it lately, more and more. It's hard.
I'm on Fall break for the next week and a half (and let me tell you, it didn't come a minute too soon, I needed this break so bad), and I would love to just go on a date with someone. I crave to go on a date, a good date. To feel like a girl, to feel feminine with a guy. To have a guy's attention, to feel attractive. So here's to hopin'.
But it was a lot of fun, so good to all be together and catch up. As I left, my heart began to hurt. That sounds really dumb, but it was because of Ben. He is an amazing guy. And on top of how great he is, he's very physically attractive. Never has he ever shown interest in being more than friends with me, and never has that been a big deal. But tonight, I don't know, maybe it's because we're all older, maybe it's because there are fewer great single guys out there, and any out there come far between, that being around someone like Ben, who I've been friends with for 7 years, makes me really want to date him. To be around him more. I would love to just spend time with him. We get along really well. He's very down to earth, and he has a good sense of humor.
I think also, inside I crave to be close to a man, and I don't really have any guy friends right now. All those guys are huggers, which I've always loved, and it was so so good to hug them. Eric has always been my favorite to hug, then Ben; Sean is up there too, but he's married now, so it's not really the same. But hugging Ben tonight, when we got there, and then when we were all leaving, felt so good. I love him. I really feel like I can say that. I love all those guys. I really do. They are all so great. And you just don't come across such great guys like that every day, who are single.
And about Ben, I felt like he enjoyed being around me, or at least showed it, more tonight than I've ever felt. I know we've always been friends, and he's always liked me as one, but tonight I felt like he looked at me more than I expected. And maybe I just haven't been around him for a while. But it made me feel this little glimmer of hope, and made me really crave that more. To be around him more. So when we all said goodbye and left, I literally felt hurt, my heart hurt. One of those feelings that if I drank, would push me to go drown my pain in drinking. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but I really just would love to spend time with him. He's so great.
I prayed in the car on the way home, and just kind of told HF what I was feeling, and pleaded with Him to help me make sense of this feeling, and to be able to reconcile with it, and to help me feel better, and not hurt. And to perhaps provide something that I would need a date for or something I could invite him to. I really don't have any guy friends up here, really, so if I ever needed a date for something, even regardless of this sudden strong desire to date Ben, he would be a great option. Bummer that he still lives in Provo.
But anyway, so I got home, and I've gotten ready for bed, and I'm feeling better. I would still love to spend more time with him, he's just such a stellar guy. And I just don't meet guys like that hardly ever. But I'm trying not to think about it. And I think part of it is that I'm just really craving male attention, as well as male touch. Seriously, being hugged by those guys, specifically Ben (such good hugs), felt SO good. And I think that just added to the pain, of wanting that in my life so badly.
Tomorrow, this weekend, is General Conference. And my question that I am taking to GC, to get answered, may seem trite. But it's really been weighing on my mind more and more. It is this: Will I get married in this life? And will I ever date anyone again, in any near future, like while I'm still in my twenties? Some days are harder than others, but lately I just feel like I will never date anyone again. The guys who I want to date don't seem to want to date me, I feel so unattractive to guys, I haven't dated anyone for about 2 1/2 years (since Steve).. I'm getting very discouraged and frustrated about it lately, more and more. It's hard.
I'm on Fall break for the next week and a half (and let me tell you, it didn't come a minute too soon, I needed this break so bad), and I would love to just go on a date with someone. I crave to go on a date, a good date. To feel like a girl, to feel feminine with a guy. To have a guy's attention, to feel attractive. So here's to hopin'.
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