Hm. This is new.

Well, this is a new feeling. I suddenly feel rather indifferent toward the whole Wes situation.
I haven't seen him for 5 days, since I had to pick up my phone from his apt Sunday morning. He's been in Illinois all week for work (he works for the Church, he's HR for the Welfare farms), and he's actually been doing so good this week, at contacting me and communicating with me during the week, like I asked him to. He texted me "hi :)" on Monday night, which I loved, called me Tues. night and we chatted for about a half hour, and texted me last night (Wed) saying hi, that he hoped I had a good day, that his was long but good, and that he had a big day the next day (today) so he needed to get to bed, so he couldn't chat. But that he would talk to me soon, and "Sweet dreams!" It was really cute, and I really appreciated it. I actually had a pretty busy night last night, with my volleyball game at 7:45, meeting Jamie and Wendy for dessert for Jamie's bday after, and then going to my new job at 10 pm (helping Paul, the quad). So it was fine that Wes didn't call last night, I'm not sure I would have been able to chat either. But I really appreciated his text.

I haven't heard from him today (Thurs), which I'm not concerned about. But I do suddenly feel like if I never saw or heard from him again, I think I'd be okay with that. And that sort of worries me. Not really worries, but makes me wonder how much I really like him then. I think it's because I maybe feel like he has been contacting me mostly or all just because I asked him to, and not necessarily because he wants to. So I think I'm feeling like if he isn't that into me, I guess I'm not that into him. And I think also because I haven't seen him since that big night when he kissed me last Sat. (other than Sun morning for a second, which was kind of awkward), and I'm kind of forgetting him, or why I like him.. I guess. I don't know. And maybe also because as of now, I don't even know if he is planning on doing anything with me this weekend.

I'm not stressed or worried or anxious or anything, it's just a new feeling, this indifference towards Wes. I think something really good could come of us, but are we both willing to put in the effort? Being single certainly is easier in a lot of ways, and I can see things really happening with Wes and I. And I think that scares both of us a little.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. My guess is that he'll call me tomorrow on his way back or something, and either want to see me tomorrow night, or Sat. because he'll be too tired tomorrow. And that things will be good and I'll remember why I like him. At least I kind of hope he calls.

Held hands, kissed, and I guess we're dating!

So wow, what a date last Saturday night! Most incredible night of my life thus far, I would have to say. As far as dating goes, anyway. I seriously felt like I was in a movie, at many times.

Wes picked me up and we headed over to his place. Even just on the way in the car he made comments making it clear he planned on continuing to see me in the future. It was cute (but I still wondered what the heck we were). Except the comment about his new jeans making his butt look really good, that was NOT cute..haha, geez.
We got to his place and started making dinner. Pretty soon, as he was standing there talking to me, as I was getting ready to cut up fruit, he said, "I haven't even hugged you yet.." And so then we hugged, for an extended period of time. It was nice. He just rubbed and basically explored my back, is what it felt like. Just hugged me really tight and rubbed all over my back. It was pretty intimate, I thought, for us having not kissed or held hands yet even. But I wasn't complaining. I just didn't really know what to do. I hugged him back of course, but I still didn't know what we were, frankly, so I didn't yet feel like I could be quite as affectionate back. At some point he said, "This is nice.." And I said, totally kidding of course, "Mm..it's okay.." And he was like, "Alright, that's it." And just totally dropped contact and went back to making dinner. I thought it was cute and funny. I laughed and said, "Just kidding!" But no going back that time, I had ruined the moment.. :) But that was fine, I just didn't know how to react to these things yet, without knowing what we were!

While I was cutting the avocado he came behind me and started massaging my shoulders, which was amazing. And at which point I became nearly dysfunctional, not able to continue cutting, ha. Then he leaned in close to me (these things I just really couldn't believe he was doing, it was amazing, I didn't know how to react!), and I wanted to reciprocate, so I leaned back against him, and we kind of stood there like that for a minute.

Later he hugged me again like that in the kitchen, and this time my heart was of course pounding, and I'm pretty sure he pointed out. I've kind of gotten used to the awkwardness of this, and this time I said, "Hm..I must be allergic to you..." It wasn't as funny as I thought. Ha.

At one point, as we got further into making dinner and him being adorable and touchy, he came close and we awkwardly ended up with him behind me and his arms around me, and we may have held hands like that..I can't remember. But he kind of rubbed my stomach, where his hands were, which was cute. And he leaned close to my face and kissed me on the side of my head, or face or something. It was adorable. Part of me wanted to just turn around and kiss him, but I was nervous to kiss him just yet in the night. I figured it would happen that night, but I wasn't ready yet. I kind of think he had a definite purpose in all this, to lead me up to kissing me. And it all sure worked! Haha :)

Anyway, so after we were done making dinner, we ate, and then we just sat there at the table and just chatted for a few minutes, and as I was telling him something, he started playing footsie with me, rubbing my feet with his. And I absolutely love that, I don't know why. I think it is extremely romantic. The only other guy I've done that with is Troy Stahle (Elder Stahle, ha), and it was so great then too! Better this time though, because I really like Wes and we are dating.

At a lull in conversation Wes asked if I wanted to watch a movie, so we picked "Greatest Game Ever Played" (after narrowing it down to that one and his beloved Chipmunks movie, that he just can't seem to get me to watch yet..haha. Actually, one of the main reasons I chose the golf movie over the Chipmunks was because the golf movie was quite a bit longer, and I really like cuddling, so longer was obviously better. :)

So we threw it on, sat back, and he immediately put his arm around me and went for my hand. He had both his arms around me, and subsequently had both my hands in his pretty quick. I was loving it, of course. So we just cuddled through the whole movie, and it was pretty dang great. I kept missing important parts, usually because I couldn't focus on a whole lot besides the guy that had his arms around me and was breathing fast for at least half the movie (cute). :)

After it was over, we just sat/layed there cuddling for a few minutes, and I was falling asleep on him. And then he asked me if I was falling asleep and he just wrapped me in his arms really close, so my face was like right in his chest/neck, and he smelled really good, which I pointed out. And we just hung out like that for a minute or two..I figured he was going to kiss me next, which he did. Well, so he kind of slowly brought his face down closer to mine, and kissed my forehead, or did something like unto that, that was cute, on the way down. I figured it was time to reciprocate and do my part, so i eventually looked up and lifted my head that way, and suddenly there were his lips! They were a lot closer to mine than I had thought (it was very dark), and suddenly we were kissing! It was weird, just like kissing Steve was totally weird at first, trying to figure each other's lips out, and get a rhythm going or whatever. That on top of me having old gum in my mouth, as well as being in kind of a weird position (my right arm was pinned against him, so only my left arm was free, it was kind of awkward. Oh, and I think I was basically craning my neck to kiss him, or something like that.), made it not amazing at first.. I remember thinking, "I remember this..that kissing is not all it's cracked up to be at first (haha)...yeah, this is weird and awkward and kind of gross..but I also remember it gets better, so just keep going.." Ha! And it did. We pretty soon readjusted and got in a better position on the couch, and I eventually got my arm out and swallowed my gum too, and then it got good after a bit.

So we kissed for a bit and then started talking a little in between kisses. One of the first things he said was, "Can I ask you a favor?" And I said yes, and he said, "Can you not tell Liz about any of this?" What??? I told him I didn't know if I could do that, and he kept asking me not to, and I asked why and he said she bugs him about stuff at work, but I just kept telling him he didn't understand, for she was one of my best friends, and there were a few of us that all keep tabs on each other, and she was one of them. I honestly didn't think I could agree to it. (Later, that night, I decided if I wanted to make things work, I needed to put him first, so in the end, the next day at church, I barely told her anything, but she didn't ask much, so it worked out). So then a minute later, after kissing more, I said, "Can I ask you a favor?" Yes. "Can I hear from you during the week?" To that he was like, "Ooh, I'm sorry..." He then began to tell me why he's been like that or what not, and that he'd been trying to decide. He'd been trying to decide between me and staying open. I told him that was fair, and that I wished I had known that, because I had started feeling like I was his weekend fling.. anyway, we talked about a bunch of good stuff (including that HE NEVER EVEN GOT THAT TEXT THAT WEEK THAT I HAD BEEN SO FRUSTRATED OVER HIS NON-RESPONSE TO!!! I couldn't believe it, because, even though I never wrote on here the next day, I was basically an emotional WRECK the next day, and he was the one that had set me off, with his non-response to my text. Like, to the point of tears throughout the whole day. And then he didn't even ever get the text, he pulled his phone out in between kissing, when I brought up the text, and we looked for it, and he was right, it wasn't there. Talk about embarrassment and a serious waste of energy), and basically established that we were dating, in fewer words. So we kissed and chatted in between for a while, and it was..amazing. Ok, it was amazing. It really was. I felt so connected to him. When Steve and I would kiss, we pretty much would only kiss, but that's all I knew. But I've always wanted to do the chatting in between kissing, I've thought it looked very..bonding? Romantic? I don't know, but Wes was really good at it, and it was so great! He would say cute things like, "I think my lips like your lips.." I mean, seriously, did I really live this?? He was adorable and it was an amazing night. And one of the best things was that we communicated and got things out on the table. Communication is huge for me, so that was good.

And he was really fun to kiss, let's be honest.

When he took me home, at like 2 am, our renter, Diane happened to be outside with Sky, taking the dog to the bathroom. Awkward. But besides that, he kissed me goodnight, for another few kisses, and it was cute again.

Anyway, those were the highlights of the night. It honestly was amazing, and if I don't marry him, it's going to be hard for any guy to top this night. I mean wow.

Things about the Night He Kissed Me that I want to remember:
-"I'm not wearing them (his new jeans) currently, but you'll see them in the future.."
-"They make my butt look really good." (oh geez, talk about awkward, and not a turn-on.)
-Me: who did you go shopping with? Wes: oh, just a friend in my ward.. (obviously a girl)..because you were busy. (so cute, he wanted me to go shopping with him..:) I liked that.)
-Wes being really touchy and adorable in the kitchen while we were making dinner
-He actually touched my bum while we were making dinner, I had said something, and he gave it a little light slap, ha! I was surprised, but not creeped out, surprisingly. It was actually kind of cute. :)
-Wes playing footsie with me while we were just chatting after we finished eating dinner. I love that.
-in between kisses, Wes rubbing his nose with mine, in a really cute, affectionate way.
-After initially kissing me for a minute or two, he pulled away slightly and said "Hi.." a couple times
-In between kisses, Wes asking, "Where have you been..?"
-"I think my lips like your lips.." "What makes you think that..?" "Just a hunch.."
-I told him (because he had asked something that led to this) that he was actually only the second guy I've kissed, and he was like, "How is that possible?" Which I felt flattered by, but didn't know exactly what he meant, and answered, "Because I've only kissed one other guy..." After a second he got my joke, and stopped and laughed pretty good. Haha
-"I'm not a committment phobe, but...you scare me.." (and I can't remember why he said I scare him! I think it had to do with feeling like something could happen, and being nervous about the future, but then saying it's not like we have to know right now.. and I said, "It's really easy to think way to far ahead way too fast." And he seemed to appreciate that I understood and had thought about the same things. I liked that a lot.
-Me: I've gone back and forth between being excited about this, and freaking out... Wes: That sounds familiar.. (Huh. Sounds like we've both been freaking out about this whole thing off and on, funny.

Wes..how much does he actually like me?

Ugh. So I'm getting a little anxious about the Wes situation, once again. But first, an update:

Things were so good this last weekend! We went out Valentine's Day, which I think I wrote about, and then Sat. I saw him at the Adonis church building, watching the girls' basketball. I went to watch our ward, and he was there, supposedly watching the other ward.. At that point I think I was slightly annoyed of him, I can't remember why. Maybe because I don't hear from him between dates much...? I don't know. But he definitely gave me attention at the game, and at one point was telling me about his game at the other building that he had to go to soon, and touched my knee as he said I could come to it, that I should, or whatever. So once again, clear that he likes me when I'm with him. I ended up playing in the end of our girls' game, because Bri had to go, and then they would have only had four players and would have forfeited, and they were winning. So after much convincing on everyone's part (Liz, Bishopric, Brittany Berg, Bri, Nina, and even Wes) I gave in. I'm not really a bball player, I haven't played competitively in years, and am not confident in the sport. But I didn't want them to forfeit, and I was their only option. I had shown up in work out clothes, so I was dressed (except this time I wasn't wearing shorts under my warm-up pants, just my running capris, b/c I was planning on going to the gym after). So as soon as I finally gave in and agreed to play, Wes was like, "I gotta stay and see this now." But in a good way.
So he stayed a few minutes and watched me, which made me even more nervous than I already was, to the point of getting a rebound once, being totally open to shoot it, but giving the ball to Brittany instead because I didn't think I could make it. Totally embarrassing. Whatever.

So after our game, Liz told me that Wes had told her to tell me how to get to the other church, and to tell me to come, or whatever. I was flattered that he really did want me to come, so I decided to go. We found it on my phone, and Liz decided to come with me. I love Liz, she is one of my favorite people ever. We both have the same issues we freak out about with boys, so it's great. We understand each other really well, and we are also good for each other, as far as advice too, I think.

So we went and watched him and chatted most of the time about me and Wes, and her and her dumb boy Ramon, who she works with, who won't ask her out again. They are perfect for each other, but he is being dumb. We also chatted about Augusto, who is absolutely in love with her. She introduced the Church to him, and he got baptized recently, comes to our ward, and is in love with her. She however, is not in love with him. So it's an ongoing saga, he just won't give up. It's cute, but kind of hard for her.

Anyway, Wes is pretty hot as a bball player. And I don't really use the word "hot." I enjoyed watching him. And he's not bad either, made free-throwing look easy. I just love a guy in gym shorts and a tshirt and athletic shoes. Mm. And watching a guy in his element is always very becoming.

After the game he walked out with us, and then walked me to my car and after chatting a minute on the way to my car, nervously invited me to a game night at his apt the next night (Sun.). I was nervous too, said yes, and then we said bye.

That night he was going to an RV expo at the South Town Expo Center with some friends (I thought it was just he and one friend, which is partly what moved me to do the following), but I was wanting to see him anyway, so I decided shortly after we parted ways at the church that I would text him later and see if he wanted to go grab some ice cream after his RV excursion.

Well, later came, I had looked up a couple ice cream places and when they close, and texted him. He texted me back a while later and said he was still with some friends, sorry, and that could we do it another time? I felt somewhat like an idiot, like I probably looked like I was just at his beck and call and didn't have any other life but wanting to be with him, and he had all these other things going on all the time.. but I played it cool and said no problem, that I'd just see him tomorrow.

So Sunday afternoon he called me, while I was VTing, and left a message telling me ppl were coming over at 6 pm, if I still wanted to come over for games, and that he would love it if I came.

Game night was a lot of fun, his sister and her husband were there (Marissa and Bobby--third time I've been around them), his roommates, Scott and Pat, and some other ppl from his ward came in and out. We played SmartyPants, which was really fun (trivia game), and which Wes rocked us all at, and then played Cities and Knights (of Settlers of Catan). I haven't played even Settlers for forever, so I couldn't even remember all the details of the original game, and then I was trying to learn all the additional rules of Cities and Knights, and I was lost for a good part of the game. Wes and I were on a team, which I quickly decided was a mistake, because he knew what he was doing, was strategizing, and I was just trying to remember how it all worked and what was going on. I feel like I faked it alright though, haha. And being distracted by his close presence next to me on the piano bench didn't help my focus either. But I loved being with him, he is very touchy, which I love, and he would touch my leg/knee every now and then, or my back or whatever. That was fun.

Then as he was walking me out to my car (at about 12:30 am! We played games for about 6 1/2 hours! ha!) I asked him what he was doing on his day off, for the holiday the next day (President's Day). He didn't know, but asked what I was doing (I was impressed with this). I didn't have much planned besides homework and what not, so he said "we should do something." I was even more impressed with this (I think because of the consecutive days thing), and said that would be fun. So after he rejected my idea of snow shoeing (he thought the snow would be too hard and frozen), he suggested maybe bowling. So we decided to go after I picked my parents up from the airport (they had been in Tuscon, AZ with Peter and Lindsay and kids over the weekend), I would call him and we'd go from there. We chatted some by my car, and after two good hugs, I left.

The next morning, first text I got, around 10 am, was from Liz, inviting me to go snow shoeing, with Tanner in our ward (not baptized, but comes frequently) and his sort-of girlfriend. Wendy started texting me about it too, and I kind of wanted to go. So long story short, after calling and talking to Liz about it, I called Wes, invited him, whereupon he suddenly remembered that he had told some friends he would go to the Grizzlies game that afternoon, and did I actually want to go to that? Ha. So after sounding a little unsure, because suddenly I was ditching the snow shoeing idea, which I had kind of gotten excited about, it was so nice outside that day! I said yes, and after convincing him that I was sure and that he hadn't ruined anything, we decided to go.

Another long story short (I've GOT to get back to my homework), I ended up buying a Pass of All Passes, which is how they were all getting in, and he came and got me, we went to the Sandy Fun Center, stood in line for an hour! to redeem them, grabbed some Taco Bell on the way, and headed to the Grizz game. We made it about 2/3 through. It was fun though, it was fun to watch, and fun to sit by Wes and chat through it.

Highlights of the last part were:
-as I had gotten on the computer here at home, to print my redemption code paper, he came up and found me at the computer, and stood real close to me and put his hand on my back and started kind of scratching my back a little. I think he had no idea, but I was loving it.
-Chatting in line waiting to get our passes, and at one point him stooping down, leaning against the wall like I was, and getting pretty close to me
-at the game, at one point he put his face right in my hair, and whispered in my ear, at which point I turned my face toward him, and our faces were pretty close, for having still not kissed. I mean, they were definitely touching.
-When he put his arm around my chair and touched my back (when I was leaned forward on my knees), to ask me more get-to-know-you questions. We do that a lot, or a least that day we did, waiting in line forever and at the game. It was fun.
-The girl doing our cards asking me if I wanted a "joint account" on his card, and both of us at first awkwardly not knowing what to say..I think more because we didn't know what that even meant, or why you would do a joint account on a Pass of All Passes. It turned out to be really funny, not awkward, but we decided not to do a joint account, because the benefits did not apply to us (he didn't get tubes or have a parking pass on his). Really funny though.

So after the game he brought me home, we hugged, and said see you at Stake FHE (Epcot night, with lots of different countries).

Saw him there, and at first went back to being in elementary, as I avoided eye contact and shyed away from him. I wanted him to see me and come over to me I think. But eventually I found him again in the room where our ward had the USA set up, and then we kind of went around together for a bit after that. Then he eventually left because the ppl he came with were leaving. But he made sure to come say and hug me goodbye. I was really hoping he would ask if I wanted to come over and watch a movie or something that night, but no such luck. It was good though, I had come with Liz, and when she brought me home, we chatted for a bit, like we always do, and then I did some stuff at home before going to bed way too late anyway.

SO. Since then, nothing. NOTHING. And not like it's been weeks or anything, I mean I saw him the day before yesterday. And I am not a needy person. But I just feel like I care more about him, and think more about him than he does me. When we are together, it is clear that he likes me. But when we are not physically together, it is very unclear. In fact, it seems like he doesn't care. And granted, it's still early in our relationship, but after this past weekend, I thought this issue would improve, I felt like we had grown a lot closer, or at least become a lot more comfortable and interested in each other. We are certainly more and more touchy, especially him, which was really great. I felt like we had made a lot of progress this weekend, and I decided by the end of it that I was okay with him kissing me now. I even got off ldssingles.com, and told a guy I couldn't go out with him because I had recently started dating someone. I mean, I felt like we were basically dating, after this last weekend.

And my plan was not to text him or anything this week, until he did, to just wait and see what he would do, in hopes that he would do better this week, after our great weekend. But so far, no cigar. I found a better deal for the Pass of All Passes today, and thought it was ironic, since I just bought one (at his suggestion and convincing on Monday, which wasn't hard, I almost bought one last summer). So I texted him about it, just as a comment in passing, thought it was funny, so I thought he would think it was funny, and surely comment back about it. But no. still hasn't.

So I don't know what to do or think. I have come to care about him, and I would love to know how his day is and how his week is going, and if he's traveling for work this week, but I feel like if I text and ask him these things, I'm just going to set myself up for feeling rejected, of sorts, like was the problem last week, because of his un-encouraging texts back, or even lack thereof. And again, it is clear he cares a lot about me when I'm with him, but it's when I'm not with him that almost means more, y'know? Is he just using me? Or does he really care about me and my life and how I'm doing? It's starting to worry and frustrate me. And this guy that I said no to this past weekend has subsequently found me on facebook, added me, and constantly messages me about going out with him, and how serious am I really, with this guy..? And I'm tempted to say yes after all, because besides when I'm with Wes, I don't feel like we are dating. And it's getting frustrating. I feel slightly used.

My LDSSingles.com profile

So I graduated from BYU last year in exercise science and am now working on my second bachelor's, in nursing school at the U.

I served a mission in Nashville, TN, which was the greatestexperience of my life. And now I love the south, black people, andcountry music even more.

I'm pretty easy going and am usually up for any good clean fun. I'm also easily entertained, and don't really care what I'm doing, but more who I'm with. I think you can have a good time doing anything, depending on who you're with.

BUT, I do love being active and doing fun things. I love volleyball, trampolining, being with friends, food, road trips, laughing andmaking people laugh. I absolutely love Brian Regan, he is hilarious.

I love getting to know people and having a good conversation,music, boating, especially wake boarding, hanging out with the fam, and playing board games. I'm also a sucker for just stayinghome and watching a movie. I also love hiking, camping, snow shoeing, etc. On my bucketlist are para-gliding and sky diving.

I'm all about trying new things and having new experiences. Ilove awkward ones because they make good stories. I love lifeand try to find the positive in everything. And I love the gospel, it is the most important and amazing thing in my life.

I'm deleting my account tonight, but in case things don't work out with Wes, here are some screen names I wanted to perhaps check back with later:
swoop8
johnnylive
MeJosher
gothappiness
Unclemoose
Wahha
Cassiuss
Bthatch
Ross801
kinglewis

And then there was lovetoskateboard, or John Lewis, who messaged me a total of about 8 times before getting a response, ha. Which unfortunately was just tonight, and I feel like it would be unfair to Wes if I went out with him, even though I kind of want to now because of the offer of the date he made me a couple days ago, to show me some cool stuff where he works in the temple. But oh, well.
Here was my message to him:
Hey John (right?),
So first of all, I have to say that I am really impressed with your perseverance!  When you messaged me a bunch a month or so ago, that was at a time when I honestly was just not feeling dating in general, I wasn't really interested in dating anyone, and I was kind of just over the online dating thing (why I didn't get off then, I'm not really sure) and had pretty much no desire to go out with anyone from online. Which is partly why I never responded, so sorry about that.
But this time around, in all honesty, I would like to say yes. In fact, I would say yes. But the thing is I've been going out with another guy, and things have recently progressed to the point that I feel like it would be unfair to him for me to go out with you at this point.
I'm getting off this site tonight actually, but I have your name, so if things change, I'll look you up on facebook and see if your offer still stands. 
Thanks for your messages, take care. 
Melissa 

Great online dating messages

I'm getting off LDSSingles.com tonight, after about eight months! Holy cow, waaaayy longer than I planned on.
But there are a few great, memorable messages that I want to save, ha.
Oh, so my username is ilovecereal. Thus all the messages and questions about my favorite cereal. Ha.

Yea I'm an Aggie. How about yourself? Thanks for going with nice instead of cute. What guy wants to be called cute? Lol. What was your mission like? 

how you doing? how come your single if your beautiful and for what i read on your profile you seem like an amazing girl? 


cereal's nice, but wouldn't you rather have a nice boxen of donuts? 

Hey! How's your summer going? Enjoying some July holidays? Does nursing school go year round? or do you get some downtime in the summer? 

Anyway, I enjoyed your profile. Feel free to check mine out and write me back if you want to talk more.

-Jake

ok maybe i better send an original flirt huh? they didnt have a "youre WAY cute" flirt..so i decided to send my own....youre WAY cute!!  

Hey there ilovecereal,

My name is Joe. I probably don't love cereal as much as you do but I do find it to be quite delicious. I recently went to the grocery store and bought a ton of cereal. I got Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms, Raisin Bran, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Life.

What's your favorite cereal? Or if that is too hard you're top 3 favorite cereals?

I actually think that my favorite cereal is Basic 4. But I better do my top 3 just in case; Basic 4, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Honey Bunches of Oats.

Oh, and I agree, Brian Regan is hilarious. I love his bit about being outside playing as kids and one of the kids gets hurt. And then someone has to go in and tell the mom that someone got hurt. His acting out the kid telling the mom always makes me roll on the ground laughing. He is pretty good.

I hope you have a great week and speak with you soon,
Joe 

I love oatmeal, would this be a problem? 

hello my name is Issac Opehema
Currently I am studying at BYU Hawaii and I am looking for a soul mate.
If you think I am an ideal person to talk to to, I will be happy to answer any question you may ask?

In case I am leaving you with my email address# iopehema@gmail.com/opehe@go.byuh.edu

Thank you

Issac 

Hi there. So as you can probably tell my name is Jon. Nice to meet you. So why do you find yourself here? . Your profile got me really interested. You sound like you have a quality I highly prize. You have a zest for life. I am a bit like you and I believe nothing is really boring. Only boring people get bored. Also I had a really, really close scrape and almost met my maker. As a consequence I treat my days as a bonus. I am impressed by your list of hobbies. And may I say and I hope I'm not being too forward, but I think you look very pretty. 
So I have a lot of hobbies and try a lot of things. I'm here because sadly in my part of the world there are very few members and hardly any under 30. I live in a relatively big ward (maybe 300 members) and often I am the only YSA there on Sunday. So I thought, how can I meet like minded people? I gave this a go. So I think it's best if I ask you a few questions just to break the ice. Fave film? fave book? fave drink? fave food? and seeing as this is LDS singles I'll have to ask something mormony; fave scripture?
I love to travel btw. I've been to 38 countries and just got back from Morocco. Where have you been and where would you like to go? I can tell a joke on just about any subject you can think of. I pride myself on it. Here's one to get the ball rolling;
why don't they have ice cubes in Ireland?
They lost the recipe.
Hahaha.
Before you say anything I am part Irish so anything I say comes from the heart.

hope to hear from you! 

You may have the best screen name I have ever seen  I always figured you could tell a lot about a person by their favorite cereal. What's yours and why? Mine lately has been those Quaker Oatmeal Squares. I swear they put crack in them. 

Peter 

How are you? I like your profile. You're very pretty and you hear that all the time, right? When is Nursing school over? I'm attending UVU, but taking a break from this semester. Are you into singing, dancing, painting, drawing or playing a musical instrument? Hope you're having a great day and Happy Halloween!

Joseph 

Hola,
yeah i work for West Valley City in community development. there wasn't a category for city planner so i figured that government was close enough.

I'm from Woods Cross, UT but I live with roommates out in SLC (by trolley square)

To be honest, I recently ended a long-term relationship that marriage didn't feel quite right. I want to get back into dating. It's kinda my top priority now. i love being a free, single bachelor but having a girl to enjoy life with....is much better.

How about you?? What brings you to online dating (that may be a bad questions  But I like the kind of person you are. And RM girls are totally fine!
Kevin 

And then a couple days later he wrote me again with:

So i was looking at the last message i sent you and thought, "wow what a terrible message." I know the old adage goes "no second chances at a first impression" but maybe I can redeem myself.

So i apologize for some of the lame questions i asked. And what i meant by "returned missionary girls are fine!" is that I find it very attractive girls who made the decision to serve a mission. They are under no pressure or obligation. It says alot of their character. 

And I do feel comfortable being who I am and I enjoy life no matter what....relationship/no relationship. I've realized that there is so much more in life to be experienced when you can do it with someone else. There is only so much I can learn alone and I can only progress so far.

With that said, I would still be interested in getting to know you, but either way....I wanted to share those thoughts.

Kevin 

This was my all-time favorite:

Hi there?? How is it going? Usually don't say this but I think you are so dang CUTE! So I got moved by your brief bio and decided to drop you a few sentences. I usually prefer starting off being friends and then we see where it takes us. To me true friendship will almost always end in excellent relationship. [Realized my profile picture is a little blurry so need to introduce myself to you a bit] My name is Richard, originally from Ghana but lived in Salt Lake City for 4.5 years for college. I graduated from Mining Engineering Fall '11 and am now working as a mining engineer in Steamboat Springs, CO. Have been living in Steamboat for about 5 months now and enjoying every bit of it. [There is a lot I could tell you about but won't want to bore you right now]. 

P.S. 
I love your smile. I am at a point in my life where I seem to have life figured out but needs that special someone to make it complete. If you think we can work on a long term relationship, please don't hesitate to let me know and we can start from there. I call Salt Lake home and make it out there every other weekend to visit friends and family. Thanks for the time and I hope to hear from you soon. 

SO funny. His profile "greeting" was even better, but he's off the site now, so I couldn't copy it. Bummer, ha.

Part of the "Art" phase (Nov 2012):

Ha ha, go Cougars!! And thank you  Hopefully I'm pretty normal ha ha. I've heard there are some weirdos on here though. I served in Moscow (not Moscow South or West). I guess I decided to do IS because I like business and I like technology. 
Have you ever listened to/watched Jim Gaffigan. Since you like Brian Regan I think you'll like him too. Look him up on youtube.
By the way, my name is Art. What's your name? 

More Art:

I don't think you really sounded loopy in your message. Sorry to disappoint but I'm not elderly or German lol.

No girls have offered me a long term relationship....yet ha ha. That message is absolutely ridiculous! He may be wrong about starting off in a long-term relationship but I think he got one thing right 

Mostly I've had a couple who are very persistent at IM-ing me and I don't really respond much. A couple I've chatted with turned out to be sketchy and said some things I won't mention here lol. 

Anyway, you seem pretty cool......so, I'd like to go out sometime if you don't think I'm a creeper ha ha  

More Art:

Well since you're so curious, one of them said she had done pretty much everything that you could do with a guy. I guess that was supposed to be a turn on. And another said she had been with 23 guys and wanted me to be number 24. Of course I said no, and then she said we could just make out and only do what I wanted to. I probably shouldn't have talked with them for so long, but I was curious what they were going to say. I never went out with them of course, lol. 

Other than that, girls on here have been pretty normal. 

How do you like the U so far btw? 

More Art:

Well, that one girl was just on here for bad purposes I guess. The other one I think maybe thought she had to be upfront about her past but was a little too revealing. Anyway, there are worse guys I'm sure. 

I like the U as well, as far as I've been able to experience it. Like you I've spent most of my time in one building so far on campus and Sandy campus (it's only one building). I was definitely more immersed in everything at the Y. But I do like it and have mad some friends and of course learned a few things ha ha. I should be finished possibly by the end of next year or April 2014 at the latest.

I'll get in touch with you sometime fairly soon. Although, it may be like a week or so. I've got finals coming up and I'm currently under the weather pretty bad. Have a great weekend 

So what is your favorite cereal? 

So common. But kind of a turnoff, cereal is not that exciting to talk about.

I also love cereal. Any fun plans this weekend?  

Howdy,

Merry Christmas!, I just wanted to say that plus Hi, and get to know you. If you are up for it. ha ha.

Whats your favorite flavor of cereal?

Brad 

I like your smile. Find me on facebook: Robert Verl Summes 

Hi how are you? You are cute do I look like your type of guy? If interested let's chat I am Josh 

Same guy as above:

Well my dream job would be to work for the state parks or for the forest service. But there are not that many openings so I might need to try and find another one ha ha. What about you? What's your name? What kind of guy you lookin for? 

First off gotta say, best name user name deal ever!! Ilovecereal!! I knew I had a RM before I had to look further. You do much shooting? 

People I don't want to forget from my psych clinical rotation at the VA, 3rd Semester of Nursing School

Patients:
Bruce--raped by military psychiatrist 30 yrs ago, after seeing a fellow marine? get his head blown off (why he was getting therapy in the first place). SO sad, this was a hard day, when he was there
Natasha--bi-polar, really nice, no support, mom has died, aunt and uncle wouldn't take her home from hospital
Anthony Hansen--young, wife divorced him, left for fb friend; really nice, fun friendly guy
Dean Heyborne--young, good looking guy, but manipulative (apparently, I never dealt with him), PTSD, would wake up and want to stab things, didn't know why, hated it (so sad), had a wife
Norm Cole--really nice guy, chronic kidney stones
Chris Burrows--younger, student at BYU-I, studied scriptures there in IPU, LDS, paranoid, came to group with me
Deloy White--older gentleman, whose mom, son, and sister died at end of 2012. Really depressed, but very nice, shoplifted X2 recently, doesn't know why. Career as a cop, embarrassed to have to go b/f judges b/c he knows them all, they are his friends. (This guy is going through way too much, esp after his son committed suicide in jail, and sister threw a clot and died the day of his son's funeral)

Nurses:
Mark--really nice young, good looking shorter guy
Kiki?--really nice, Asian, great nurse, really helpful
Eileen--also really nice, into shoes, loved my boots; great psych nurse!, great at talking to the pts and being real with them

First Valentine's date EVER

So the date with Wes was good. It was fun. I'm not crazy about him still, but I feel like we're slowly moving forward. So we'll see.

But first of all, he brought me flowers, a purple rose. I was way impressed! I was not expecting flowers. It was so sweet of him!

Wes did good :)

He came and got me straight from going to the temple, so we stopped at his apt on the way to dinner so he could change.

Then we just went to dinner at this German restaurant out in Fort Union, called Bohemian Brewery and Grill. The food was actually really amazing! We both shared our food, partly because I ordered what he wanted, and he didn't want to order the same thing, ha. But it was fun to share food. :)

Then he took me home. He came in with me, to bring the crock pot home (that blasted crock pot is back now, safe and sound), and we chatted for a few minutes, he was looking at all the pictures on the fridge of all my siblings and their families. We had both talked about our siblings during dinner, so I was pointing out who was who. Definite points for being interested in my family.

Then, after talking about Peeps, which were on the counter, and roasting them, which he has surprisingly never done, but decided that he was too full to try it tonight, we hugged in the kitchen and said goodbye. Good hug again, and this time I didn't drag it out awkwardly. I'm learning. :)

Then we chatted for a minute at the door, and he left.

I had kind of wanted him to stay and hang out for a bit, I was even willing to watch a movie or something, but he had to work today, and I didn't want to suggest it for that reason, I figured he probably wanted to get home to bed. But after he left I wished I had said something, just offered at least and let him choose. So I texted him that I meant to offer if he wanted to stay and hang out for a bit, and sorry that I hadn't, but that he was welcome to, and thanks again for the night. He texted back not to worry, that he did need to get home to bed, because he had to get up early today, but that he would take me up on the offer another though. "That is if you offer again.." I told him there was a pretty good chance of it happening again.. but no response after that. Which kind of frustrates me! I mean, I didn't ask anything, but I put .. afterwards, indicating (I think) that a response would be welcome. And I felt like I was being flirtatious, so when I get no response back, it's like killing the little flame of interest that was getting bigger. Kind of ruins the moment, in a way, y'know?

But whatever, I'm trying not to worry about it. He's told me before that texting and phone talking are not his preferred way of communicating, he likes face-to-face best. But he's been good at texting me in the past..so I don't know. I don't know about this boy.

But the date was good, and he has indicated, in more than one way, that he would like to continue doing things. But no, "I'll call you tomorrow" or "what are you doing the rest of this weekend?" or anything, so I don't know. I think he wasn't kidding the other night when he told me he's a slow mover. I think I just may need to have a lot of patience with this one.

I'm going to Provo tonight to Joylyn's bachelorette party, and I think I may call him on my way back and see if he wants to go get ice cream or something.

Wes is still around.

So I texted Wes this morning and just told him, matter-of-factly, that I wouldn't be coming to Institute tonight after all, because we have a newly scheduled volleyball game. And that sorry if that ruined his crock pot plan (to bring it back to me). I wasn't really expecting much of a response out of that, I thought maybe he did prefer not to see me anyway, upon return of the crock pot (I had jokingly suggested this yesterday, expecting a reinforcing response, which I never got. Thus one of the things that lead to the conclusion that he was no longer interested). But then he texted me after my Institute class this afternoon (the class Maryn and I are in at the U) and was back to being fun and friendly and flirtatious in his response, and then said "What is your schedule like tomorrow?"

Tomorrow?!?!? Tomorrow is Valentine's Day!! So did he want to know because it's Valentine's Day? Or did he just want to know when he could bring the crock pot back?? I honestly didn't know. So (thankfully Maryn was with me this whole time, so she helped me through all this..) I just told him my schedule, of school all day and then possibly some TRAILS hours til early evening. So then later he texted back that he would be home later himself, and how would I feel about a late dinner tomorrow night?

What?? Now you're asking me out via text?? Not impressive. I was already on the verge of being hurt, and then frustrated at him, and now he does this. But of course I wanted to go, not like I was dying to be with him, because by now I had put up some walls a little bit. But I wasn't going to say no or anything. But I also certainly wasn't going to just let him get away with asking via text. And I was really surprised, he's actually been really good about using the phone and calling for dates.

I immediately called Maryn upon receiving his last text, and after talking to her a bit later (I had to leave a message at first), and with her seal of approval, I texted him back and said, "Yeah, that would be fun, but are you sure you want to ask that via text...? :)"

I wasn't sure how he would react to that, or if he would be annoyed.. but whatever. I didn't care. I want a guy who has enough respect and decency to call.

So about an hour or so later, he calls.

I said, "Well, hello."

And then he totally blew it off like he hadn't already asked me anything, saying, "What. What are you talking about? I didn't already ask you anything.." and that whoever texted me that question was some other guy, and I was like, "Oh, yeah, it must have been, I can't keep track.." And so he was like, "Yeah, he was an idiot, I mean who asks for a date over text?" So then he was like, "What are your plans tomorrow night?" And I said, "Well, some guy texted me about going to dinner, but I don't think that's going to happen, so yeah, I don't have any plans." Haha, so we kept going like this and he eventually asked me if I would like to go to dinner tomorrow night. It was great. The perfect reaction. He dug himself out of that hole pretty well, I must say.

So we're going out tomorrow, and I'm excited. Sort of. A little leary at this point, I feel like I'm just not built for this whole dating thing..the game, the rollercoaster. For this reason, I'm not really ecstatic about the whole principle of dating right now.

Why, you ask?

Because there I was, doing just fine, totally content with my life, really happy, actually, smooth sailing in life, busy with school, loving my friends, church, everything about life, my new goals and aspirations and progress on the guitar and piano, etc. etc.. And then WES shows up in my life and now I'm on this awful emotional rollercoaster, never knowing really what he's thinking, or what I'M feeling, and wondering what he thought about what I said and did and why he isn't texting me back for three hours. Where sometimes I can be myself, and sometimes I can't. And by default of the female brain, thinking way farther ahead than is healthy. 

Wes may be over

I think I have scared Wes away.

We cuddled on Fri (he definitely initiated) and it was good, and on the way home he told me, "Sorry that I move so slow" to which I responded that it's fine, and that I'm the same way (he said he used to move quicker but discovered that doesn't work out) and that I agreed. Then when we were hugging goodbye I told him, "Thanks for moving slow."
So by the end of that night, I felt less giddy, actually, than I would have expected, after having just cuddled for the first time, but I did feel like this was a mutual liking, and that things would continue to move forward.
Well, we texted some on Sunday (I initiated), and that was good, and then he asked me if we played volleyball last night via text, I didn't get it til late, so I texted him back this morning, and we texted back and forth a mere three times, I think, with it ending on my response to him asking when he could bring our crock pot back (I let him borrow it for his ward activity Sat.). I ended my response with something I thought was funny, even slightly flirtatious, with a smiley face at the end, and nothing. No response.
So I'm thinking that I may never see him again, other than to get the crock pot back. Although, he may just come drop it off, I almost wouldn't be surprised at this point. In my response to him to answer his question about the crock pot return, at the end I put, "or if you don't care if I'm here, you can bring it by whenever.:)" I was joking and thought he would want to see me, but now I'm not so sure.
The only thing I can think has scared him away was my extra long hug on Friday, I just kept hugging him. I like hugging him. And we had just cuddled, for goodness sake! Can't I good-and-hug him?? Plus my heart was apparently pounding, which he informed me of during both of our goodbye hugs. That was embarrassing. I had no idea it was pounding, I was actually really surprised it was. I didn't notice, and I wasn't planning on kissing him, I wasn't feeling it by the end of the night (it was a good night, but something was off. After thinking about it over the next day, I think it was because he never asked me about me or my day, but he was very focused on the activity he was largely in charge of the next day, so it's understandable). So both times when he said, "Your heart is beating really fast" he totally caught me off guard, partly because I had no idea, I couldn't feel it, like I was nervous. And because he probably thought that meant I either wanted to kiss him or just really really liked him. So I couldn't come up with anything clever to say to blow it off, I was just awkward and didn't really say anything. Dang it. I just shouldn't have hugged him for so long. I got carried away. Which I know I have a tendency to do sometimes like that.

So anyway, I'm thinking that was the end of Wes. Kind of a bummer. He was a pretty good guy.

Which brings me to my most recent conclusion: dating is too hard, emotionally. I think I will just stay single, it's much safer for the heart.

I like Wes.

In response to Camille's email asking me about the dinner date with David, from online:

SOOOOOoooo, it was fine. I had actually about gotten home from it at the time of your email. :) But yeah, he was nice and fun to talk to, he even had some good shoes on, but he didn't really tickle my fancy or anything. I like Wes more. 

And SPEAKING of Wes, so after I came home from the date, I finished a paper that was due last night, and then went over to Wes's to go hot tubing. Ha! We got kicked out after about five min, which I was actually okay with because the water wasn't the hot. So then we just hung out in his apt with one of his roommates and this other kid in his ward who stopped by. It was fun. :)

Yesterday I had called him to invite him to Mom and Dad's stake activity tonight, with the BYU Ballroom Dance team, but he can't go because he will be driving back from Burley, ID for work. So we are going to do something later tonight after he gets back.

There's the update! :)

(Melissa)

Meet Wes Malquist, PART 1

Soooooo.......I like Wes. Kind of a lot. He's pretty great. Like really great.

But I don't think I've really properly written about him or introduced him on here.

So Wes Malquist is this guy in my stake, who I met playing flag football on a Saturday before Halloween (2012). He's in the Winder 2nd ward, and we didn't play each other, I don't think, but people in this stake are usually pretty friendly, especially at sports games I feel like, and we all kind of just meet other people around us from other wards, so anyway, that's where we met. He was friendly, and we kind of just clicked in a friendly way. I thought he seemed cool, but didn't think much about him after that.
Then Jamie and I went to the Church Office Building to meet Wendy for lunch because she works there. Eventually Liz, and Julia, then Berkley came too, and then Wes came by too. By the time Wes came it was just Liz, Berkley and I. When he came over, we both recognized each other from flag football, and started chatting. We all chatted for few minutes, and then I was just chatting with him. Suddenly Liz and Berkley got up and said they had to leave, so I felt awkward, but decided to just stay there anyway and keep talking to Wes. We chatted for a few more minutes, it was fun, and then he asked for my last name (which can only mean one thing: facebook, of course), and I left. Quite awkwardly, actually. As I was saying goodbye and getting my things together and putting on my coat to leave, I suddenly lost all ability to have a conversation anymore. Also, I kind of said goodbye, and it was fun to chat, and then I still had to get my stuff on to leave. So I definitely felt the awkward silence...

So then I thought he would surely add me within a day or two, but not so much. I of course stalked him, and one of the few pictures I could see was him in Andy's a cappella group, the Advocates! No way!! So then I really wanted to just add him to ask him when he had joined the group, because I used to go watch them perform when I was down there.
So a week after I saw him at the Church Office Building, I caved and added him on facebook. I also messaged him and said

Wes, hey!
So call me a stalker, but I see that you were in the Advocates--Andy Proctor is my cousin! Small world! And Brett Goodman is actually a good friend from my mission. I used to go to a bunch of their shows when I lived down there, when did you join the group?

Then he said
Hey Melissa! 
Wow, you ARE a stalker!  Not too many people know who the Advocates are. Andy was actually probably my favorite Advocate personally (don't ever tell him I said that though). He's just a great guy. I don't have the greatest memory, but I believe I joined the group at the very beginning of 2009 and continued with them until summer of 2010. Then they brought me in every once in a while to fill in if someone couldn't perform for a night. I loved it and miss it, but I think they are officially disbanded now. We had a lot of fun though. Are you a singer/musician of sorts? Where did you go on your mission? 
Also, thanks for the add! I was actually going to add you myself but you beat me to it. Would you be interested in having some fun with me this coming weekend? If so, perhaps you would be so kind as to give me your number?I'd prefer to ask you in person but I just don't know when you'll be eating lunch in the Church cafeteria again. 

And of course I was giddy as I'll get out! 
So then I replied 

Soo...basically, what you're saying is that I'm just the faster (and thus better) stalker..yes? 
My mission was in Nashville, TN, and I got back late 2009, so then started back at the Y winter 2010, but I don't think I started going to the Advocates' shows until probably after you were out..I can't remember when I first saw them perform. But I wouldn't be surprised if I saw at least one of their performances with you filling in..maybe. And that's too bad they've disbanded, their performances were always fun to watch. And I agree, Andy is awesome. Definitely one of my favorite cousins. 
I do love music and love to sing, but just for fun. I play the guitar and piano a little bit, but I'm not a performer by any means, or good at either of them, either. Not yet anyway (I'm actually currently working on my guitar and piano skills, it's one of my new year's resolutions)..
Do you sing with any group up here or anything? 
And yeah, next weekend would be great! My number is 801-503-1252

and then
Wes. Correction on my last message. I'm actually going to be out of town next weekend, Fri through Mon--I didn't realize the holiday weekend is already upon us! I'm really sorry, I hope your fun plan wasn't next-weekend-specific! 

and then
I take it back, my weekend trip just got postponed, ironically. So go ahead and disregard the previous message..

All three of those messages were within 24 hrs. Haha, so then he said
I am so confused.  So I can still take you out this weekend? Maybe I'll just call you and we'll go from there. I'll talk to you soon. Have a most excellent Monday!

And I said
Ha, don't be. It's not like I sent you three conflicting messages in 24 hours... but yes. The answer to your question is yes. Talk to you soon. 

So then a few days later he called me and gave me the option of going to The Phantom of the Opera at BYU on Friday, or the Jazz Game on Sat. My first thought was, "Both!" Ha, but after asking what he would prefer, and him saying he wanted me to decide, I chose Phantom. For a couple reasons: I love plays and BYU always does a good job; and I thought, "Long drive to Provo, this will be fun!" So we went, and it WAS!! It was such a great date! After the show we went and ate at Texas Roadhouse, pretty much the only restaurant open in Provo after 10 pm (silly Provo), and then went home. But the whole date was so much fun! He was so fun to talk to and we had really great conversation the whole night. And I was comfortable and able to be myself, it was awesome!

So by the end of the night I was thinking, "Man, I could marry this guy. I mean, I can really see something serious happening." That's how impressed I was with him.

But at the doorstep that night, after we hugged awkwardly (I hate first date hugs), he told me there are still tickets to the Jazz game, and would I like to go tomorrow? Um YES!! So I smiled and said yeah!

Needless to say, the next day, I got next to no homework done, due to the intense giddiness I was experiencing, as well as being tired.

So that night he picked me up and we met two of his sisters, a brother in law, and a cousin downtown at City Creek to grab dinner before the game.

In a nutshell, the whole night was much less enjoyable for me than the previous night. There were two problems--problem #1: I started out nervous and not as comfortable with him, probably because I really liked him at this point and had been thinking about pretty much only him for the entire day. Problem #2: his family was there. I still didn't really know Wes, let alone his family! So I was pretty quiet the whole night, compared to the night before. He definitely picked up on this, especially at dinner (I hardly said anything), and as we were leaving the food court he asked me, "Is this overwhelming to you?" And I said, "No, I'm not overwhelmed, you just all know each other." And he said, "That's true."

The game was a little better, I got to chat with his sisters some and get to know them, but I just felt kind of uncomfortable the whole night. Partly because I started off not myself I guess. So by the time I got home I was so emotionally confused! I had been practically in love with him last night, and now I was feeling totally different about him! I saw some dorkiness in him, around his family, which kind of made me a little nervous about him (since then I've decided I'm probably more dorky around my family too, and that's probably normal.).

I sent him a post-date text that night anyway, thanking him for both nights, and said both were fun, especially last night (meaning Friday).

So then I was just kind of confused and didn't know what to think about him, or what to hope for.