Wes..how much does he actually like me?

Ugh. So I'm getting a little anxious about the Wes situation, once again. But first, an update:

Things were so good this last weekend! We went out Valentine's Day, which I think I wrote about, and then Sat. I saw him at the Adonis church building, watching the girls' basketball. I went to watch our ward, and he was there, supposedly watching the other ward.. At that point I think I was slightly annoyed of him, I can't remember why. Maybe because I don't hear from him between dates much...? I don't know. But he definitely gave me attention at the game, and at one point was telling me about his game at the other building that he had to go to soon, and touched my knee as he said I could come to it, that I should, or whatever. So once again, clear that he likes me when I'm with him. I ended up playing in the end of our girls' game, because Bri had to go, and then they would have only had four players and would have forfeited, and they were winning. So after much convincing on everyone's part (Liz, Bishopric, Brittany Berg, Bri, Nina, and even Wes) I gave in. I'm not really a bball player, I haven't played competitively in years, and am not confident in the sport. But I didn't want them to forfeit, and I was their only option. I had shown up in work out clothes, so I was dressed (except this time I wasn't wearing shorts under my warm-up pants, just my running capris, b/c I was planning on going to the gym after). So as soon as I finally gave in and agreed to play, Wes was like, "I gotta stay and see this now." But in a good way.
So he stayed a few minutes and watched me, which made me even more nervous than I already was, to the point of getting a rebound once, being totally open to shoot it, but giving the ball to Brittany instead because I didn't think I could make it. Totally embarrassing. Whatever.

So after our game, Liz told me that Wes had told her to tell me how to get to the other church, and to tell me to come, or whatever. I was flattered that he really did want me to come, so I decided to go. We found it on my phone, and Liz decided to come with me. I love Liz, she is one of my favorite people ever. We both have the same issues we freak out about with boys, so it's great. We understand each other really well, and we are also good for each other, as far as advice too, I think.

So we went and watched him and chatted most of the time about me and Wes, and her and her dumb boy Ramon, who she works with, who won't ask her out again. They are perfect for each other, but he is being dumb. We also chatted about Augusto, who is absolutely in love with her. She introduced the Church to him, and he got baptized recently, comes to our ward, and is in love with her. She however, is not in love with him. So it's an ongoing saga, he just won't give up. It's cute, but kind of hard for her.

Anyway, Wes is pretty hot as a bball player. And I don't really use the word "hot." I enjoyed watching him. And he's not bad either, made free-throwing look easy. I just love a guy in gym shorts and a tshirt and athletic shoes. Mm. And watching a guy in his element is always very becoming.

After the game he walked out with us, and then walked me to my car and after chatting a minute on the way to my car, nervously invited me to a game night at his apt the next night (Sun.). I was nervous too, said yes, and then we said bye.

That night he was going to an RV expo at the South Town Expo Center with some friends (I thought it was just he and one friend, which is partly what moved me to do the following), but I was wanting to see him anyway, so I decided shortly after we parted ways at the church that I would text him later and see if he wanted to go grab some ice cream after his RV excursion.

Well, later came, I had looked up a couple ice cream places and when they close, and texted him. He texted me back a while later and said he was still with some friends, sorry, and that could we do it another time? I felt somewhat like an idiot, like I probably looked like I was just at his beck and call and didn't have any other life but wanting to be with him, and he had all these other things going on all the time.. but I played it cool and said no problem, that I'd just see him tomorrow.

So Sunday afternoon he called me, while I was VTing, and left a message telling me ppl were coming over at 6 pm, if I still wanted to come over for games, and that he would love it if I came.

Game night was a lot of fun, his sister and her husband were there (Marissa and Bobby--third time I've been around them), his roommates, Scott and Pat, and some other ppl from his ward came in and out. We played SmartyPants, which was really fun (trivia game), and which Wes rocked us all at, and then played Cities and Knights (of Settlers of Catan). I haven't played even Settlers for forever, so I couldn't even remember all the details of the original game, and then I was trying to learn all the additional rules of Cities and Knights, and I was lost for a good part of the game. Wes and I were on a team, which I quickly decided was a mistake, because he knew what he was doing, was strategizing, and I was just trying to remember how it all worked and what was going on. I feel like I faked it alright though, haha. And being distracted by his close presence next to me on the piano bench didn't help my focus either. But I loved being with him, he is very touchy, which I love, and he would touch my leg/knee every now and then, or my back or whatever. That was fun.

Then as he was walking me out to my car (at about 12:30 am! We played games for about 6 1/2 hours! ha!) I asked him what he was doing on his day off, for the holiday the next day (President's Day). He didn't know, but asked what I was doing (I was impressed with this). I didn't have much planned besides homework and what not, so he said "we should do something." I was even more impressed with this (I think because of the consecutive days thing), and said that would be fun. So after he rejected my idea of snow shoeing (he thought the snow would be too hard and frozen), he suggested maybe bowling. So we decided to go after I picked my parents up from the airport (they had been in Tuscon, AZ with Peter and Lindsay and kids over the weekend), I would call him and we'd go from there. We chatted some by my car, and after two good hugs, I left.

The next morning, first text I got, around 10 am, was from Liz, inviting me to go snow shoeing, with Tanner in our ward (not baptized, but comes frequently) and his sort-of girlfriend. Wendy started texting me about it too, and I kind of wanted to go. So long story short, after calling and talking to Liz about it, I called Wes, invited him, whereupon he suddenly remembered that he had told some friends he would go to the Grizzlies game that afternoon, and did I actually want to go to that? Ha. So after sounding a little unsure, because suddenly I was ditching the snow shoeing idea, which I had kind of gotten excited about, it was so nice outside that day! I said yes, and after convincing him that I was sure and that he hadn't ruined anything, we decided to go.

Another long story short (I've GOT to get back to my homework), I ended up buying a Pass of All Passes, which is how they were all getting in, and he came and got me, we went to the Sandy Fun Center, stood in line for an hour! to redeem them, grabbed some Taco Bell on the way, and headed to the Grizz game. We made it about 2/3 through. It was fun though, it was fun to watch, and fun to sit by Wes and chat through it.

Highlights of the last part were:
-as I had gotten on the computer here at home, to print my redemption code paper, he came up and found me at the computer, and stood real close to me and put his hand on my back and started kind of scratching my back a little. I think he had no idea, but I was loving it.
-Chatting in line waiting to get our passes, and at one point him stooping down, leaning against the wall like I was, and getting pretty close to me
-at the game, at one point he put his face right in my hair, and whispered in my ear, at which point I turned my face toward him, and our faces were pretty close, for having still not kissed. I mean, they were definitely touching.
-When he put his arm around my chair and touched my back (when I was leaned forward on my knees), to ask me more get-to-know-you questions. We do that a lot, or a least that day we did, waiting in line forever and at the game. It was fun.
-The girl doing our cards asking me if I wanted a "joint account" on his card, and both of us at first awkwardly not knowing what to say..I think more because we didn't know what that even meant, or why you would do a joint account on a Pass of All Passes. It turned out to be really funny, not awkward, but we decided not to do a joint account, because the benefits did not apply to us (he didn't get tubes or have a parking pass on his). Really funny though.

So after the game he brought me home, we hugged, and said see you at Stake FHE (Epcot night, with lots of different countries).

Saw him there, and at first went back to being in elementary, as I avoided eye contact and shyed away from him. I wanted him to see me and come over to me I think. But eventually I found him again in the room where our ward had the USA set up, and then we kind of went around together for a bit after that. Then he eventually left because the ppl he came with were leaving. But he made sure to come say and hug me goodbye. I was really hoping he would ask if I wanted to come over and watch a movie or something that night, but no such luck. It was good though, I had come with Liz, and when she brought me home, we chatted for a bit, like we always do, and then I did some stuff at home before going to bed way too late anyway.

SO. Since then, nothing. NOTHING. And not like it's been weeks or anything, I mean I saw him the day before yesterday. And I am not a needy person. But I just feel like I care more about him, and think more about him than he does me. When we are together, it is clear that he likes me. But when we are not physically together, it is very unclear. In fact, it seems like he doesn't care. And granted, it's still early in our relationship, but after this past weekend, I thought this issue would improve, I felt like we had grown a lot closer, or at least become a lot more comfortable and interested in each other. We are certainly more and more touchy, especially him, which was really great. I felt like we had made a lot of progress this weekend, and I decided by the end of it that I was okay with him kissing me now. I even got off ldssingles.com, and told a guy I couldn't go out with him because I had recently started dating someone. I mean, I felt like we were basically dating, after this last weekend.

And my plan was not to text him or anything this week, until he did, to just wait and see what he would do, in hopes that he would do better this week, after our great weekend. But so far, no cigar. I found a better deal for the Pass of All Passes today, and thought it was ironic, since I just bought one (at his suggestion and convincing on Monday, which wasn't hard, I almost bought one last summer). So I texted him about it, just as a comment in passing, thought it was funny, so I thought he would think it was funny, and surely comment back about it. But no. still hasn't.

So I don't know what to do or think. I have come to care about him, and I would love to know how his day is and how his week is going, and if he's traveling for work this week, but I feel like if I text and ask him these things, I'm just going to set myself up for feeling rejected, of sorts, like was the problem last week, because of his un-encouraging texts back, or even lack thereof. And again, it is clear he cares a lot about me when I'm with him, but it's when I'm not with him that almost means more, y'know? Is he just using me? Or does he really care about me and my life and how I'm doing? It's starting to worry and frustrate me. And this guy that I said no to this past weekend has subsequently found me on facebook, added me, and constantly messages me about going out with him, and how serious am I really, with this guy..? And I'm tempted to say yes after all, because besides when I'm with Wes, I don't feel like we are dating. And it's getting frustrating. I feel slightly used.