Real quick, cause I have to go to bed, I had the greatest thing happen today at the end of work this morning! I've had this little crush on a physical therapist that works on our floor. He is so attractive, seems really nice, is kind of quiet, and really buff. Oh, and he wears great shoes! Nikes. I've looked him up in the past, like earlier this year, when I started noticing him more, and he does seem to be single, at least then, but doesn't seem LDS. Looks like a nice guy though still, even on FB. But I've still always thought he was cute.
So I worked last night, and before I went to work yesterday I prayed that I'd get the chance to say hi to him and re-learn his name. I see him and feel so awkward because I never say hi and I can't remember his name, so I've wanted to relearn it so I could so we could at least have a friendly relationship at work.
And once again, Heavenly Father came through! He got to our floor toward the end of my shift, as we were giving report and such, and he is just so good looking. I just sat there and gazed at him and his buff arms from my computer to where he was sitting at another one. He walked by me once while I was talking to another nurse, giving additional report about a patient, but didn't look at him.
Then, as I was heading to the break room to clock out and clean my stuff and head out, around the corner he walked (I knew he was nearby, but that was a pleasant surprise), and we made eye contact and I was smiling and said hey! He said hey back.
Then when I got to the breakroom I realized my stethoscope was still hanging outside room 14 where I left it (MRSA precautions room) so I walked out to get it, and he was standing right in front of the door, where my orange stethoscope was hanging on the hand sanitizer. I walked up behind him, he turned around and saw me, I was like, "Sorry, I just need this" and grabbed it, and he was like oh you're fine or something, and then in an instant, in my head, I was like, this is your chance! So as I walked away I said, "Remind me your name?" And he said, "Scott. And you are.." and he seemed to be legitimately trying to remember my name, and I told him, and then smiled and walked away.
HE WANTED TO KNOW MY NAME!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still a little giddy about it, but I was ALL smiles after that! I was so stoked!!! I walked into the breakroom and did a silent fist pump in front of me. He wanted to know my name!!!! I felt like if he didn't really care who I was or have any interest, he wouldn't have asked for it, right? Or maybe he really is just that nice, or maybe his mom taught him when someone asks for your name, always ask for theirs, because that's polite. But he seems kind of shy, so.. I don't know, but for now I'm just going with that he wanted to know my name and I'm psyched about it!! The bummer is that even if he actually and miraculously IS interested in me, and he actually ever did something about it, he's not LDS, pretty sure. So...there's that. But it's just REALLY NICE to even feel like it's possible that an attractive guy might think I'm attractive and/or be interested in me! It's just been a really long time, it feels like.
Makes me a little more excited to go to work tomorrow...
And he proabably won't even be there. Ha.
But moral of the story: prayers are answered, people!! :)
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Tri-Stake Temple Night
So every second thursday of each month we have a tri-stake temple night at the SL temple, with a 7 pm chapel session and then all ordinances after, with refreshments in the cafeteria following, that anyone can go to. It's cool because it's all YSA, and the chapel session is usually pretty full. The session is always packed, and performed by YSA (or close to) temple workers, which is fun. The temple stays open late these nights, just for us.
So this last Thurs (today is Sunday) we had one, and at the last one, as Jamie and I sat in the cafeteria at a table, chatting to this guy who later got her number, there was this other guy who walked in and got some refreshments. I noticed him, he was cute, but reminded me of Sean Rutschke. Remember him? My BYU freshman year best guy friend/guy who I wanted to marry but who got married on my mission and whose child I later babysat a couple times? Anyway, this kid reminded me of him, and I wanted to talk to him, which I could have gotten up to "get more refreshments" but didn't, and he ended up sitting somewhere else, and I never talked to him. I was really hoping he'd be at the next one.
And he was! But let me start at the beginning of the night. It was a pretty good night! Jamie was not with me that night, she went to the BYU young professionals social networking thing that she and I went to last year and met that Matt guy, nice guy, but nothing happened between them. Anyway, she wanted to get to know better Lant Webb who would be there, which was great. I was actually happy to go solo. Although Erin Burns came with me, she was the only one who met to carpool. She's funny, happy to talk all about herself and answer all my questions I could think of about her life as we drove, but never once asked anything about me. Ha.
But I was to say the opening prayer in the chapel session, filling in for someone who was sick. Emily Thatcher had texted me earlier that day and asked me. So I sat up close, told Pres. Featherstone I would be filling in, and he told me he knew my name. That was cool. I really love him, he's an amazing Stake Pres., and I love listening to him speak..
Sat by Liz, and then Stacey Balfour too, and I don't know what's going on with Liz, I feel like I've offended her or something, she just doesn't seem to be able to just talk to me and be real, she's always just being goofy or laughing stuff off. It's getting obnoxious. I'm her friend and visiting teacher, but I feel like she doesn't like me so much anymore or something. But I was happy to be otherwise by myself.
But I saw so many friends that night, it was so fun! While sitting in the chapel session and people were coming in, saw Anneli Hansen (BYU ward, now she lives up here, going to nursing school), Haley Elmer from my misison!, McKell Dalton that I met at that conference earlier this year; later I saw Calli Whipperman from high school (haven't seen her since I don't think!) as we were walking into the Creation Room for the session. She and her parents were standing in the hall, had just done sealings. It was so good to see her! And I was grateful for the excuse to get out of line/order from being next to Liz and Stacey (they basically dragged me into line with them, when I was fine to be by myself), but then they had saved me a seat anyway. Ha. But I chatted with Calli for a min, and found out she is getting a divorce. :/ So that was sad to hear, she said it's a really good thing, but it's still sad to me, and kind of just made me think..
So anyway, good session, I serendipitously (?) got separated from Liz half way through when we didn't fit on the same row. I was grateful, not gonna lie. I just wanted to be by myself. But I think it was actually maybe the third time ever that I've stayed awake during the whole session! Ha!
So to the cafeteria. I was actually hoping the guy we had seen at the random and awkward stake dance last week would be there, and I think he maybe was in the session, I finally spotted him at the end of the session, and saw him in the Celestial Room, but never after. But in the cafeteria, the guy that I saw last time was there! I made an effort to make eye contact with him, and smiled, I thought he would come over to our table and sit with us (Stacey, Cindy, and me), but he didn't. Then he left a little later. Oh, well, I thought. But then, as Erin and I walked outside, there he was standing at the corner waiting for the light to cross the street! This was my chance! I quickly thought, Heavenly Father is blessing me with this chance, I had wanted it, and He was giving it to me, so I had better take advantage. As we approached the corner to wait behind him and this other guy standing next to him, he looked back, almost like (I maybe was flattering myself) he was interested in talking to me, which probably wasn't true, but that gave me a little encouragement anyway, and I touched his shoulder and asked him if he was related to a Sean Rutschke (yep, that was my technique). He wasn't, of course, but then I asked his name (Cody, I think) and he asked mine, we shook hands as we crossed the street, and chatted on the way to the parking garage. Turns out he just graduated college and is a CNA up at Huntsman, and I told him I just work there at the U. We chatted about that, he told me he's going to med school next year though, which is cool. When we got to his level of parking, he left and we said bye. I was bummed that that was it, that he didn't ask for my number or anything, and was at first hoping I'd maybe see him at the next one or something. But the more I thought about it, the more I remembered that I really am not dying to start the med school road with someone right now. I mean, if it was right, I'd do it, of course. And I used to be totally for it. But I'm about to turn 29, and that's just a loooong road, haha. Sally and Joe just got done with that road a couple years ago, and it was looong. So I feel like it was actually a blessing and just fine if we never date. Ha. Dodge that bullet.
But I was so grateful that I got to meet him! Felt like that was definitely an answer to prayer. And now I can just cross him right off my list and stop wondering about him. Heavenly Father is so great.:)
So this last Thurs (today is Sunday) we had one, and at the last one, as Jamie and I sat in the cafeteria at a table, chatting to this guy who later got her number, there was this other guy who walked in and got some refreshments. I noticed him, he was cute, but reminded me of Sean Rutschke. Remember him? My BYU freshman year best guy friend/guy who I wanted to marry but who got married on my mission and whose child I later babysat a couple times? Anyway, this kid reminded me of him, and I wanted to talk to him, which I could have gotten up to "get more refreshments" but didn't, and he ended up sitting somewhere else, and I never talked to him. I was really hoping he'd be at the next one.
And he was! But let me start at the beginning of the night. It was a pretty good night! Jamie was not with me that night, she went to the BYU young professionals social networking thing that she and I went to last year and met that Matt guy, nice guy, but nothing happened between them. Anyway, she wanted to get to know better Lant Webb who would be there, which was great. I was actually happy to go solo. Although Erin Burns came with me, she was the only one who met to carpool. She's funny, happy to talk all about herself and answer all my questions I could think of about her life as we drove, but never once asked anything about me. Ha.
But I was to say the opening prayer in the chapel session, filling in for someone who was sick. Emily Thatcher had texted me earlier that day and asked me. So I sat up close, told Pres. Featherstone I would be filling in, and he told me he knew my name. That was cool. I really love him, he's an amazing Stake Pres., and I love listening to him speak..
Sat by Liz, and then Stacey Balfour too, and I don't know what's going on with Liz, I feel like I've offended her or something, she just doesn't seem to be able to just talk to me and be real, she's always just being goofy or laughing stuff off. It's getting obnoxious. I'm her friend and visiting teacher, but I feel like she doesn't like me so much anymore or something. But I was happy to be otherwise by myself.
But I saw so many friends that night, it was so fun! While sitting in the chapel session and people were coming in, saw Anneli Hansen (BYU ward, now she lives up here, going to nursing school), Haley Elmer from my misison!, McKell Dalton that I met at that conference earlier this year; later I saw Calli Whipperman from high school (haven't seen her since I don't think!) as we were walking into the Creation Room for the session. She and her parents were standing in the hall, had just done sealings. It was so good to see her! And I was grateful for the excuse to get out of line/order from being next to Liz and Stacey (they basically dragged me into line with them, when I was fine to be by myself), but then they had saved me a seat anyway. Ha. But I chatted with Calli for a min, and found out she is getting a divorce. :/ So that was sad to hear, she said it's a really good thing, but it's still sad to me, and kind of just made me think..
So anyway, good session, I serendipitously (?) got separated from Liz half way through when we didn't fit on the same row. I was grateful, not gonna lie. I just wanted to be by myself. But I think it was actually maybe the third time ever that I've stayed awake during the whole session! Ha!
So to the cafeteria. I was actually hoping the guy we had seen at the random and awkward stake dance last week would be there, and I think he maybe was in the session, I finally spotted him at the end of the session, and saw him in the Celestial Room, but never after. But in the cafeteria, the guy that I saw last time was there! I made an effort to make eye contact with him, and smiled, I thought he would come over to our table and sit with us (Stacey, Cindy, and me), but he didn't. Then he left a little later. Oh, well, I thought. But then, as Erin and I walked outside, there he was standing at the corner waiting for the light to cross the street! This was my chance! I quickly thought, Heavenly Father is blessing me with this chance, I had wanted it, and He was giving it to me, so I had better take advantage. As we approached the corner to wait behind him and this other guy standing next to him, he looked back, almost like (I maybe was flattering myself) he was interested in talking to me, which probably wasn't true, but that gave me a little encouragement anyway, and I touched his shoulder and asked him if he was related to a Sean Rutschke (yep, that was my technique). He wasn't, of course, but then I asked his name (Cody, I think) and he asked mine, we shook hands as we crossed the street, and chatted on the way to the parking garage. Turns out he just graduated college and is a CNA up at Huntsman, and I told him I just work there at the U. We chatted about that, he told me he's going to med school next year though, which is cool. When we got to his level of parking, he left and we said bye. I was bummed that that was it, that he didn't ask for my number or anything, and was at first hoping I'd maybe see him at the next one or something. But the more I thought about it, the more I remembered that I really am not dying to start the med school road with someone right now. I mean, if it was right, I'd do it, of course. And I used to be totally for it. But I'm about to turn 29, and that's just a loooong road, haha. Sally and Joe just got done with that road a couple years ago, and it was looong. So I feel like it was actually a blessing and just fine if we never date. Ha. Dodge that bullet.
But I was so grateful that I got to meet him! Felt like that was definitely an answer to prayer. And now I can just cross him right off my list and stop wondering about him. Heavenly Father is so great.:)
Sunday, November 1, 2015
It's November! Crazy! NCOSE conference, Taiwan, and now I'm in Texas!
So many things have happened since I last wrote--not like I met an amazing guy and am getting married or anything, but in Sept I went to this amazing conference in Florida that was pretty life changing; in October I made it out of the country for the first time and went to Taiwan! Crazy!! Was gone for twelve days, which I thought would be hard, but it was amazing! Was glad to come back when we did, but it was such a cool experience, we did and saw some pretty cool stuff! Then about a week and a half later, I flew to Texas to visit the peeps down here (still here). So needless to say, I haven't worked or been home a ton in the last month, but it's been so great to get a good break and do some cool stuff and visit family.
The conference was incredible. It was called the Coalition to End Sexual Explotation (CESE), held by the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), a conference on sexual exploitation and greatly on pornography. It was just what I needed at that time in so many ways. It was so amazing and refreshing to be around other people, SO MANY other people, who are also so passionate about these issues. Ah, there aren't words for how great it was! I told my new friends, I felt like I had found my people. :) It was also incredible to be amidst and meet and hear speak so many inspiring people and leaders who are actively fighting the fight. And so motivating. There is a lot of crap out there going on, but I also learned that there is also more good happening, and more active and successful fighting going on against it than I ever realized, and that was super encouraging.
Here's a text I sent to Jamie on the second? day I was there, in response to her asking how Texas was treating me or something: Hey! Sorry, been a busy day! But thanks! Yeah, things are going great, the people and organizations involved in this movement are incredible, I am so grateful to be here. And Florida is great! As long as you stay inside..haha. It's freaking hot here!! Soo humid.. But great otherwise! The hotel is across the street from Sea World, so that's fun..
One thing that was so nice about going was that I just needed a break. Mostly from work and the environment and people I work with, but also just from people in my life, I guess. At work I had become frustrated with a couple nurses I work with and don't like being around them. One in particular is easy to banter with, but he can take it too far, in my opinion, and become too sarcastic and even rude. Lately I've been more sarcastic with him than I like being, and I don't like being like that. He brings it out in me, but it's still my actions and my behavior. But it was SO nice being in Florida and around so many great people, all very kind and sincere. So refreshing, and it was also just what I needed to remind me the kind of person I want to be like. I want to be more sincere in my conversation. Less sarcastic. The conference was full of good, Christian people, who were so uplifting just to be around. I loved every minute of it. And I made some new really great friends! The five or so girls I ended up working with were all really neat, only one LDS. But really good, nice girls. Erin and I became good little friends in those few days, and she's only like 23 or something. Maybe younger (I'm 28). But a very mature person, I loved our little friendship that developed. The guys we worked with were really impressive too, the AV guys, especially the main guy, whose name escapes me, but I was so impressed with his maturity.
Anyway, an incredible experience, and it made me want to live out in DC, just to be around these people more and be able to be involved with NCOSE more closely. But wherever the conference is next year, I'm planning on being there.
And PS, Dawn Hawkins, the executive director over NCOSE, and who Sally miraculously got me in touch with (I went due to a series of divine interventions, basically), is an AMAZING woman. Wow.
The conference was incredible. It was called the Coalition to End Sexual Explotation (CESE), held by the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), a conference on sexual exploitation and greatly on pornography. It was just what I needed at that time in so many ways. It was so amazing and refreshing to be around other people, SO MANY other people, who are also so passionate about these issues. Ah, there aren't words for how great it was! I told my new friends, I felt like I had found my people. :) It was also incredible to be amidst and meet and hear speak so many inspiring people and leaders who are actively fighting the fight. And so motivating. There is a lot of crap out there going on, but I also learned that there is also more good happening, and more active and successful fighting going on against it than I ever realized, and that was super encouraging.
Here's a text I sent to Jamie on the second? day I was there, in response to her asking how Texas was treating me or something: Hey! Sorry, been a busy day! But thanks! Yeah, things are going great, the people and organizations involved in this movement are incredible, I am so grateful to be here. And Florida is great! As long as you stay inside..haha. It's freaking hot here!! Soo humid.. But great otherwise! The hotel is across the street from Sea World, so that's fun..
One thing that was so nice about going was that I just needed a break. Mostly from work and the environment and people I work with, but also just from people in my life, I guess. At work I had become frustrated with a couple nurses I work with and don't like being around them. One in particular is easy to banter with, but he can take it too far, in my opinion, and become too sarcastic and even rude. Lately I've been more sarcastic with him than I like being, and I don't like being like that. He brings it out in me, but it's still my actions and my behavior. But it was SO nice being in Florida and around so many great people, all very kind and sincere. So refreshing, and it was also just what I needed to remind me the kind of person I want to be like. I want to be more sincere in my conversation. Less sarcastic. The conference was full of good, Christian people, who were so uplifting just to be around. I loved every minute of it. And I made some new really great friends! The five or so girls I ended up working with were all really neat, only one LDS. But really good, nice girls. Erin and I became good little friends in those few days, and she's only like 23 or something. Maybe younger (I'm 28). But a very mature person, I loved our little friendship that developed. The guys we worked with were really impressive too, the AV guys, especially the main guy, whose name escapes me, but I was so impressed with his maturity.
Anyway, an incredible experience, and it made me want to live out in DC, just to be around these people more and be able to be involved with NCOSE more closely. But wherever the conference is next year, I'm planning on being there.
And PS, Dawn Hawkins, the executive director over NCOSE, and who Sally miraculously got me in touch with (I went due to a series of divine interventions, basically), is an AMAZING woman. Wow.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
3rd date with Brian U.
So he came and got me at 4 pm, and we headed to Provo. We were going to the BYU vs U women's soccer game, and when we got down there to buy tickets before doing anything else, they only had general admission seats left, and standing room only they said, but we got them anyway, and went to get some dinner. Went to J-Dawgs, met up with a friend of Brian's there, who was actually one of his EFY kids years ago (the kid is 25 now, and I asked Brian if that makes him feel old, and he was like yeah..haha), then went back to the field to the game. Great game! BYU won 2-0, and we did end up standing all but the last 10 min, but it was still fun! My mission friend, Haley Elmer, has two sisters that play for the U, and they are so good! Their dad was there, and I saw him and said hi and introduced myself. I recognize him from FB pics, haha. Haley wasn't there though, I texted her.
Anyway, after the game we went to the Creamery for ice cream, of course. And Heritage is completely non-existent! It's crazy how different things are down there! The dorms don't even look like BYU anymore, it's crazy! The buildings are so tall and nice-looking! Creamery's still the same though.:)
Then we went to the dollar theater down there, Movies 8, and saw Cokeville Miracle, and it was SO good. Such an incredible true story. I totally cried at the end, it was a very moving ending! I thought he was crying too, which made me feel better, haha, but after he said he was surprised that he didn't. Heartless... haha, jk.
Then we drove back to SLC.
It was a fun night, with some positives and some negatives. Positives: on second look at his hands, his hands are actually fine. I like them. So that was nice to cross off my negatives list. And speaking of hands, can I just say I love the watch he's always wearing?? He wears this cool white sports watch, I love it! Also on the positives, I feel myself finding him a little more attractive. He almost always opens the car door for me, always opens building doors for me, and I just felt watched out for in little ways, like when we were walking back to the car after the game, and he pulled me by my purse strap out of the road. I thought it was cute. Also, his shoes. Dang, they were great. So far he is three for three on good shoes! He was wearing these awesome white and multicolored nikes, they were rad! I commented on them, of course. So at least he's got the good and attractive footwear down.
For the negatives, there were two. First, he was not in fact wearing any cologne. Again. FAIL. So disappointing. If only guys knew what a difference that makes! And while I haven't smelled any cologne ever, I also haven't smelled any stink on him ever either, so at least he doesn't stink. And then the other thing is that besides that first date we went on, the movie at the park, where he was so uberly impressive in every way, including asking me about me and being great at conversation, he really doesn't ask me about me. We mostly talk about him. I know all about his multiple jobs, some past and then present ones, but he's never really asked me much about my work. And I love my job, it's so much of who I am and what I do. I love to talk about it, if someone wants to know. But yeah, I try to ask him more get to know you questions, and sometimes he'll ask me them back, but he's just not been great at getting to know me specifically. I don't love that. Oh, and then the other thing is sense of humor. I'm not sure we have the same sense of humor. Which is a major bummer, because that's a big deal to me. We don't laugh together a ton. And in general, I like to laugh a LOT. Life is funny, if you can't laugh about it, it's just not as fun. Or you cry instead. Ha. But yeah, so still some getting to know each other, but he seems to like being with me, and I like being with hiim, so we'll see. Slowly.
And no, he didn't put any moves on me, at the movie or anytime. I didn't want to kiss him last night, partly because I have a strict no kissing on the first three dates rule, but also I don't want that yet. But I would have welcomed any hand holding at the movie, and I thought he maybe wanted to, from where his hand was positioned at times, but never happened. Which is totally fine. I'm all about moving slow, I think it's the best, most natural way for a relationship to progress, and yields the best results in the end. And I'm a little annoyed that he doesn't seem to want to know more about me right now. So it's good nothing happened.
Anyway, got to get ready for work! Also, best part of this day, the AMAZING WIN BYU JUST PULLED OFF AGAINST NEBRASKA!!! It was crazy!! 1 second left and they made this incredible touch down...amazing!!!!!
Anyway, after the game we went to the Creamery for ice cream, of course. And Heritage is completely non-existent! It's crazy how different things are down there! The dorms don't even look like BYU anymore, it's crazy! The buildings are so tall and nice-looking! Creamery's still the same though.:)
Then we went to the dollar theater down there, Movies 8, and saw Cokeville Miracle, and it was SO good. Such an incredible true story. I totally cried at the end, it was a very moving ending! I thought he was crying too, which made me feel better, haha, but after he said he was surprised that he didn't. Heartless... haha, jk.
Then we drove back to SLC.
It was a fun night, with some positives and some negatives. Positives: on second look at his hands, his hands are actually fine. I like them. So that was nice to cross off my negatives list. And speaking of hands, can I just say I love the watch he's always wearing?? He wears this cool white sports watch, I love it! Also on the positives, I feel myself finding him a little more attractive. He almost always opens the car door for me, always opens building doors for me, and I just felt watched out for in little ways, like when we were walking back to the car after the game, and he pulled me by my purse strap out of the road. I thought it was cute. Also, his shoes. Dang, they were great. So far he is three for three on good shoes! He was wearing these awesome white and multicolored nikes, they were rad! I commented on them, of course. So at least he's got the good and attractive footwear down.
For the negatives, there were two. First, he was not in fact wearing any cologne. Again. FAIL. So disappointing. If only guys knew what a difference that makes! And while I haven't smelled any cologne ever, I also haven't smelled any stink on him ever either, so at least he doesn't stink. And then the other thing is that besides that first date we went on, the movie at the park, where he was so uberly impressive in every way, including asking me about me and being great at conversation, he really doesn't ask me about me. We mostly talk about him. I know all about his multiple jobs, some past and then present ones, but he's never really asked me much about my work. And I love my job, it's so much of who I am and what I do. I love to talk about it, if someone wants to know. But yeah, I try to ask him more get to know you questions, and sometimes he'll ask me them back, but he's just not been great at getting to know me specifically. I don't love that. Oh, and then the other thing is sense of humor. I'm not sure we have the same sense of humor. Which is a major bummer, because that's a big deal to me. We don't laugh together a ton. And in general, I like to laugh a LOT. Life is funny, if you can't laugh about it, it's just not as fun. Or you cry instead. Ha. But yeah, so still some getting to know each other, but he seems to like being with me, and I like being with hiim, so we'll see. Slowly.
And no, he didn't put any moves on me, at the movie or anytime. I didn't want to kiss him last night, partly because I have a strict no kissing on the first three dates rule, but also I don't want that yet. But I would have welcomed any hand holding at the movie, and I thought he maybe wanted to, from where his hand was positioned at times, but never happened. Which is totally fine. I'm all about moving slow, I think it's the best, most natural way for a relationship to progress, and yields the best results in the end. And I'm a little annoyed that he doesn't seem to want to know more about me right now. So it's good nothing happened.
Anyway, got to get ready for work! Also, best part of this day, the AMAZING WIN BYU JUST PULLED OFF AGAINST NEBRASKA!!! It was crazy!! 1 second left and they made this incredible touch down...amazing!!!!!
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Can't sleep
I was so tired earlier..especially at Institute tonight, I was so excited to go to bed, and now my mind has been racing, and I can't get my body to feel sleepy..these nights make me crazy. Especially when I was SO sleepy earlier..
I've also suddenly been thinking about Dylan tonight, as I lay awake here. I miss that sweet boy. I was even completely in tears, thinking about his funeral, and Rosanna, and how she must just ache all the time for him. I don't know how she does it. I wish we had him here still. I was thinking about our Texas beach family vacation a few years ago, and cute Dylan hanging out of the circular holes in the stairway wall with his yellow blankie. So cute.
I've been thinking a lot about Andy tonight, and the last few days. Yes, that Andy, Andy Heaton, who I dated off and on for like 6 months or something.. I've been missing him and thinking a lot about him suddenly, to the point where I've wondered if there is a significant reason why. Like maybe I'm going to hear from him soon or something, or maybe he's thinking of me..? I don't know. But I will say, I do miss him, and I would actually love to date him again. I would love to give us another chance. My only real thing with him is his height (and how hard he kissed me, how he kind of sucked my lips a little harder than I liked and they would get all puffy and red and I was embarrassed, haha..but I figure we could work on that..). But other than that, I think he's pretty attractive, and some things I've recently realized that I kind of took for granted with him and that were major positives were that he always smelled so good (this is huge, and so desirable), and he was so fun to talk to! He thought I was funny, I thought he was, he was so fun to text with and joke with, especially like when we were kissing. I could really make him laugh then. Haha. I miss that. I also loved his hands. I LOVED those hands. I look at guys hands, and he had nice, manyly, but soft hands. And nice fingernails. I don't know why that's a thing for me, but it is. Teeth, shoes, and hands. But in contrast, this Brian guy seems like a great guy still, we went out for the second time the other night, I think I wrote about it, but I just don't know how physically attracted I am, and he hasn't smelled good yet. That may seem small, but I really like a guy that smells good. It's kind of a big deal. And I know that's something you can change, so it's not a deal breaker, but any guy is significantly more attractive when he smells good, regardless of what he looks like. Just sayin. And I'm not sure about Brian's teeth, I think they're pretty good..hard to tell, I haven't seen them much yet. And his hands are..fine.. I just really liked Andy's. Aa, why am I thinking so much about him?? It's still pointless, right? I mean, I was over him for a while, never thought about him like this. Why now? And why so much? Like he's an option...
I've also suddenly been thinking about Dylan tonight, as I lay awake here. I miss that sweet boy. I was even completely in tears, thinking about his funeral, and Rosanna, and how she must just ache all the time for him. I don't know how she does it. I wish we had him here still. I was thinking about our Texas beach family vacation a few years ago, and cute Dylan hanging out of the circular holes in the stairway wall with his yellow blankie. So cute.
But anyway, Andy. Yeah. I just..I would love it if he was thinking about me. And I would love to see him. I would love to be with him again, and date him. I feel like things could possibly really work out. But I don't feel like I'm supposed to message him or anything.
I would love to see him. I even, a few days ago when I first started thinking about him a lot, I even felt this giddiness about him, like I was going to see him, it was weird. Definitely haven't seen him, and I'm pretty sure he's not in Utah, but....that would be awesome. If I suddenly got a text or a call from him saying he was in Utah and could he see me. I would love that.
Alright, I'm getting tired again. Back to bed it is.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Great day with Rosanna, volleyball is started again!, and this new Brian Uz..
Today I went to the temple with Rosanna. The 10 am session that we went for was too full, so we left and came back for the 11 am session, and just stayed in the car and chatted, about my issues with Eric (who I've kind of been trying to get rid of), and about the kids starting school and that they like it, etc. And about Dylan, and how he's not here to start school, and how that's hard.
The session was good, they played my least favorite of the new movies, but it's still pretty good, and I had trouble staying awake, as always. But really good to be there with Rosanna. Then after, we stayed in the Celestial room for a while, while she cried. I felt so bad, I really have no idea what she's going through. All I could do was put my arm around her and get her more tissues. She's amazing, for still functioning and putting on a good face amidst this trial. She misses him so much.
Then we went and got lunch at Zupas (love that place), and then we went back to their house and she showed me all their pictures from their recent trip to Jamaica that she had just told me about over Zupas. It was so fun to see and hear about their trip! I think they really needed it and had a great time.
The kids got home from school and I stayed another half hour or so and hung out and heard all about the new school and how they ALL like it (yay! Last year was rough for all of them at APA, well Megan mostly, and Rachel for all three days she attended it before Rosanna pulled her and home schooled her). So happy that they are all liking school!
Tonight was the first night of our new volleyball season! We played two teams, and only won 1 set of all 4. But it was still really fun! Got to catch up with Camille, she was right next to me when Mom texted me about how she got the job today and her $11,000 a year pay increase, so that was way exciting! It was legitimately good to see Jamie, and I was hoping to catch up with her more, but she left after while I was chatting with Camille. And based on her texts tonight, it seemed like she was a little almost offended, maybe, by that. And I was going to help Jamie with some math, that she is tutoring a little girl with. But it didn't happen, darn it.
And this new Brian Uz.. that I hung out with for the first time last week, we were going to do something tonight after his softball game and my volleyball games, but mine went later than planned, and it was almost 10 by the time we were done and Camille and I stopped chatting, so I called him and suggested maybe we do something another night. So we're going to try for tomorrow, depending on his softball game schedule tomorrow. But just quick, he's basically the most cool, impressive guy I've probably ever been out with. Not a lot to look at at first, I"m hoping that comes, because he sure knows how to treat a girl, and really has his act together, and is mature and totally solid in the Church. These guys DO exist! So we'll see how things go. But I definitely want to keep getting to know him, because just based on the other night with him, and the fact that he calls me, doesn't just text, I've been super impressed with him already.
The session was good, they played my least favorite of the new movies, but it's still pretty good, and I had trouble staying awake, as always. But really good to be there with Rosanna. Then after, we stayed in the Celestial room for a while, while she cried. I felt so bad, I really have no idea what she's going through. All I could do was put my arm around her and get her more tissues. She's amazing, for still functioning and putting on a good face amidst this trial. She misses him so much.
Then we went and got lunch at Zupas (love that place), and then we went back to their house and she showed me all their pictures from their recent trip to Jamaica that she had just told me about over Zupas. It was so fun to see and hear about their trip! I think they really needed it and had a great time.
The kids got home from school and I stayed another half hour or so and hung out and heard all about the new school and how they ALL like it (yay! Last year was rough for all of them at APA, well Megan mostly, and Rachel for all three days she attended it before Rosanna pulled her and home schooled her). So happy that they are all liking school!
Tonight was the first night of our new volleyball season! We played two teams, and only won 1 set of all 4. But it was still really fun! Got to catch up with Camille, she was right next to me when Mom texted me about how she got the job today and her $11,000 a year pay increase, so that was way exciting! It was legitimately good to see Jamie, and I was hoping to catch up with her more, but she left after while I was chatting with Camille. And based on her texts tonight, it seemed like she was a little almost offended, maybe, by that. And I was going to help Jamie with some math, that she is tutoring a little girl with. But it didn't happen, darn it.
And this new Brian Uz.. that I hung out with for the first time last week, we were going to do something tonight after his softball game and my volleyball games, but mine went later than planned, and it was almost 10 by the time we were done and Camille and I stopped chatting, so I called him and suggested maybe we do something another night. So we're going to try for tomorrow, depending on his softball game schedule tomorrow. But just quick, he's basically the most cool, impressive guy I've probably ever been out with. Not a lot to look at at first, I"m hoping that comes, because he sure knows how to treat a girl, and really has his act together, and is mature and totally solid in the Church. These guys DO exist! So we'll see how things go. But I definitely want to keep getting to know him, because just based on the other night with him, and the fact that he calls me, doesn't just text, I've been super impressed with him already.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Updates on life--life is good! I feel so led, and so grateful for that.
Sooo...lots to update on since my last post! But just quick---life is really great right now! Amazing how there are such highs and lows in life. But I feel like my life is being very guided by the Spirit right now, and I'm so grateful! But some quick updates:
Not going to London. Changed my mind, and after much thought and prayer and fasting on the matter, and being prompted to talk to Sally and then Mom about it, I decided to go ahead and go to Taiwan with Rob and Meg. So I'm going! And since I'm going, Jamie is going too. But that's fine. I'm really excited to go! It'll be a cool adventure. And the plan is to go to London in the spring. And my friend, Shawna at work (also in my ward, but I see her at work way more than at church stuff), might go with me (and whoever else), but I think that would be so fun! She's pretty chill and mature, and likes adventures like that.
Haven't moved out yet. Still want to, and I looked into those apartments, Highland Point apartments, online, and I feel really good about them, and want to live in the three-person set up, because of the price, so I just need to find a couple girls I would want to live with. I don't really want to just move in with random girls. I already don't really want to have roommates again most of the time, and I don't want to just be the new girl. I'm hoping Cheryl and I might really be able to live together. She is in fact going to get a divorce. She asked Kyle for one the other day. It's got to be so rough. I totally support her though. I'm all about making a marriage last, but she has done pretty much everything and more to try to make it work, and it sounds like he hasn't put in anywhere near the effort she has to be a good spouse. She deserves someone so great, someone she feels comfortable bringing children into the world with.
Due to a series of prompting and spiritual experiences of sorts, I've decided to attend a conference in Sept, called the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Summit 2015. I feel like I'm supposed to go. It's in Florida, so that's fun. I'm super excited about it! Mostly because I've felt so guided into deciding to go. And part of it all is that with Sally's help, I've been able to get in touch with the organization's executive director, Dawn Hawkins, who I get emails from frequently (I'm on their email list) about the fight to end sexual exploitation, so to me she's this famous person, and now I've been emailing her, and she waived my registration fee, and has offered to pay for my hotel for any extra nights to come early and help, and it's all happened so fast, it's kind of crazy! But cool. I'm really excited to be more involved in this fight that's happening and needs to happen. I hate the sexual exploitation that is so common and rampant in the world, in so many ugly forms.
I'm planning my trip to Texas! It'll be the end of Oct-beginning of Nov. And I'm going to go for almost 2 weeks! Whoa, why?? Because I can. :) I miss those kids so much! Especially little Keelan. I'm excited!
My job is great, love my job. I worked last night and double floated, which usually isn't desirable, but it actually turned out great. I was on AIM-B and then SSTU, both floors were a first for my to float to. I only had 4 patients on both, which was fantastic (usually have 5 at night on AIM-A), and my patients were great, some even fun to talk to, the other nurses I worked with were good and friendly, I learned some good things, and I even got to run into Jared from Plastics! He's a plastic surgery resident who I've met a couple times, and he is so attractive. Blue scrubs, classy dress shoes (which is funny, but he pulls off the look very well), square framed glasses..I've naturally looked him up, after the first couple times I met him and he was working with a patient of mine for a couple days, and he is LDS and single, as far as I can tell. So that was fun to run into him again last night. Nothing really happened, haha, except he stood pretty close to me at one point in a patient's room, and he smelled really good. But just being around him like that made me kind of giddy the rest of the night, haha (that was around 2 or 3 am). And as far as floating, it was actually really nice and refreshing to be off my floor and be around other nurses and just do my own thing. It was the most comfortable and confident I've ever felt floating, which was fun. And I love my floor and the people I work with and being comfortable there, but everyone else I worked with last night were really nice and friendly too, and I don't know, it was just kind of fun and refreshing, I think partly to be somewhere new, and still feel competent and even fairly comfortable, and like I knew what I was doing. And it was nice to float to two places I hadn't floated to, although maybe I have to SSTU..it seemed more familiar than I was thinking.. but I'm happy to be comfortable and familiar with two more units now, makes floating in the future less scary and dreadful. :)
And just for memory sake, the patients I enjoyed the most were that LDS guy who has that random infection in his L elbow, who is from Provo, now they live in Wyoming and love it, and who coached Brandon Davies and other BYU bball stars in high school, and he and his wife are both really cool people, both teach school up in Wyoming. They were fun to chat with, and to see their good relationship.
Then my pt on SSTU who has the congenital condition with short legs and his suprapubic catheter and such, who is turning 50 next month and never been married, and lives with his parents. He asked about me and I was like, I'm actually in the same boat as you! Haha, never been married, and live with my parents. :) But he didn't get all weird or creepy and try to hit on me after that, like some patients have and would, so that was nice and appreciated.
Oh, and there's this guy, Brian, who visited his friend, Mark, down in Sally and Peter's ward recently, who Sally and Joe met, who I then met at our tri-stake temple night the other night, and who added me on FB the next day, and who Audrey Stanger texted me today to tell me she has a friend who is asking her for my number and could she give it to them, and turns out it's this Brian guy. Initially when I met him I was not really interested at all, but after the good things she had to say about him and looking him up on FB the other day, I feel like he could be one of those guys that surprises, in a good way. So that's something fun to hope for :) We'll see if he calls. I'm already impressed that he wanted my actual number, when he could have easily contacted me via FB. I'll be even more impressed if he actually calls, and doesn't just text me. That's a rare man these days.
Gotta go to bed!
Not going to London. Changed my mind, and after much thought and prayer and fasting on the matter, and being prompted to talk to Sally and then Mom about it, I decided to go ahead and go to Taiwan with Rob and Meg. So I'm going! And since I'm going, Jamie is going too. But that's fine. I'm really excited to go! It'll be a cool adventure. And the plan is to go to London in the spring. And my friend, Shawna at work (also in my ward, but I see her at work way more than at church stuff), might go with me (and whoever else), but I think that would be so fun! She's pretty chill and mature, and likes adventures like that.
Haven't moved out yet. Still want to, and I looked into those apartments, Highland Point apartments, online, and I feel really good about them, and want to live in the three-person set up, because of the price, so I just need to find a couple girls I would want to live with. I don't really want to just move in with random girls. I already don't really want to have roommates again most of the time, and I don't want to just be the new girl. I'm hoping Cheryl and I might really be able to live together. She is in fact going to get a divorce. She asked Kyle for one the other day. It's got to be so rough. I totally support her though. I'm all about making a marriage last, but she has done pretty much everything and more to try to make it work, and it sounds like he hasn't put in anywhere near the effort she has to be a good spouse. She deserves someone so great, someone she feels comfortable bringing children into the world with.
Due to a series of prompting and spiritual experiences of sorts, I've decided to attend a conference in Sept, called the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Summit 2015. I feel like I'm supposed to go. It's in Florida, so that's fun. I'm super excited about it! Mostly because I've felt so guided into deciding to go. And part of it all is that with Sally's help, I've been able to get in touch with the organization's executive director, Dawn Hawkins, who I get emails from frequently (I'm on their email list) about the fight to end sexual exploitation, so to me she's this famous person, and now I've been emailing her, and she waived my registration fee, and has offered to pay for my hotel for any extra nights to come early and help, and it's all happened so fast, it's kind of crazy! But cool. I'm really excited to be more involved in this fight that's happening and needs to happen. I hate the sexual exploitation that is so common and rampant in the world, in so many ugly forms.
I'm planning my trip to Texas! It'll be the end of Oct-beginning of Nov. And I'm going to go for almost 2 weeks! Whoa, why?? Because I can. :) I miss those kids so much! Especially little Keelan. I'm excited!
My job is great, love my job. I worked last night and double floated, which usually isn't desirable, but it actually turned out great. I was on AIM-B and then SSTU, both floors were a first for my to float to. I only had 4 patients on both, which was fantastic (usually have 5 at night on AIM-A), and my patients were great, some even fun to talk to, the other nurses I worked with were good and friendly, I learned some good things, and I even got to run into Jared from Plastics! He's a plastic surgery resident who I've met a couple times, and he is so attractive. Blue scrubs, classy dress shoes (which is funny, but he pulls off the look very well), square framed glasses..I've naturally looked him up, after the first couple times I met him and he was working with a patient of mine for a couple days, and he is LDS and single, as far as I can tell. So that was fun to run into him again last night. Nothing really happened, haha, except he stood pretty close to me at one point in a patient's room, and he smelled really good. But just being around him like that made me kind of giddy the rest of the night, haha (that was around 2 or 3 am). And as far as floating, it was actually really nice and refreshing to be off my floor and be around other nurses and just do my own thing. It was the most comfortable and confident I've ever felt floating, which was fun. And I love my floor and the people I work with and being comfortable there, but everyone else I worked with last night were really nice and friendly too, and I don't know, it was just kind of fun and refreshing, I think partly to be somewhere new, and still feel competent and even fairly comfortable, and like I knew what I was doing. And it was nice to float to two places I hadn't floated to, although maybe I have to SSTU..it seemed more familiar than I was thinking.. but I'm happy to be comfortable and familiar with two more units now, makes floating in the future less scary and dreadful. :)
And just for memory sake, the patients I enjoyed the most were that LDS guy who has that random infection in his L elbow, who is from Provo, now they live in Wyoming and love it, and who coached Brandon Davies and other BYU bball stars in high school, and he and his wife are both really cool people, both teach school up in Wyoming. They were fun to chat with, and to see their good relationship.
Then my pt on SSTU who has the congenital condition with short legs and his suprapubic catheter and such, who is turning 50 next month and never been married, and lives with his parents. He asked about me and I was like, I'm actually in the same boat as you! Haha, never been married, and live with my parents. :) But he didn't get all weird or creepy and try to hit on me after that, like some patients have and would, so that was nice and appreciated.
Oh, and there's this guy, Brian, who visited his friend, Mark, down in Sally and Peter's ward recently, who Sally and Joe met, who I then met at our tri-stake temple night the other night, and who added me on FB the next day, and who Audrey Stanger texted me today to tell me she has a friend who is asking her for my number and could she give it to them, and turns out it's this Brian guy. Initially when I met him I was not really interested at all, but after the good things she had to say about him and looking him up on FB the other day, I feel like he could be one of those guys that surprises, in a good way. So that's something fun to hope for :) We'll see if he calls. I'm already impressed that he wanted my actual number, when he could have easily contacted me via FB. I'll be even more impressed if he actually calls, and doesn't just text me. That's a rare man these days.
Gotta go to bed!
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