Things are much better, I am coping better, haha

So Jamie and I got through this last week successfully. I am doing much better now, I think I was partly just on my period and having an emotional couple of days, and that just exacerbated my emotional state. But after a couple days, and staying at Rosanna's house making our gingerbread creation for the Festival of Trees (good to get my mind off everything, get out of my head, and do something totally fun and distracting with Rosanna), I felt much better about everything. I took Jamie to Shiver's that Tues night and we got shakes and food, my treat, and then we went and hung out at her house. I ended up staying over, we watched the 3rd and 4th discs of North and South, watched highlights of The Voice that I had missed, and then stayed awake for hours in her bed talking. Greatly about how hard it has been for both of us when the other has seemingly started to date someone. We both have felt the exact same. We talked about how we could possibly make it easier, but how it also will probably just be hard, when one or both of us really starts dating someone seriously. It will be good, and we know it's a good thing and what we want, but it's certainly going to be an adjustment, regardless. We basically do everything together, and we rarely go a day without seeing each other. And if we don't see each other, we most definitely are texting at least. I love her so much, there just aren't words to describe. When I wrote on here a while ago and said I hope she gets married first, that's still true (if we can't get married at the same time), but I said it was partly because I feel like I can be happy single easier than she can. Not in a bad way, I just think it's true. But I have since changed my mind. I wasn't very good at all last week at being happy feeling single and alone, without her. It was really hard. And again, I think I was emotional anyway which made it seem worse, but I do think, and know, that it's going to be hard, not spending this much time together eventually.
I told her that night in her bed, that if it weren't for the marriage thing being a commandment and what not, I really feel like we could be happy like this for a long long time. Just being best friends and traveling and stuff together, for years. We have that much fun together. And she agreed.
It is an amazing relationship we have, I've never had a best friend like her, or a relationship like this. It's hard to imagine being this close to a guy, close enough to want to marry them.
I just love her.