How I absolutely love Jamie. She is my best friend. I have never had a better friend than her, I don't think. The only friends that come close in comparison to my best friend-ness with her are Cheryl, back before my mission, when we lived together, and then Tisah, after my mission, when we spent a ton of time together. But I really haven't had a friend quite like Jamie. She is amazing. So so thoughtful, all the time, so considerate, so nice. And she just loves me, which I don't say easily. And she lets me know it all the time, sends me such nice texts all the time, or tells me in person, and because of it, I tell her too. We just love each other.:) But I feel so so blessed to have her as a friend.
We see and/or text each other pretty much every day. She is one who I really don't really get sick of. There have been times when we've spent so much time together doing fun things that I need my alone time, but other than that, she is one who I can hang out with for hours on end, day after day, and I really don't get sick of. Like our times going to Seven Peaks together this summer, just the two of us, and we both talked about how it was still so fun, even though it was just us, and that it's amazing that we don't get sick of each other. We have also talked about how (well, I've mentioned, and she seemed to agree) that too bad one of us isn't a boy.
But on that note, and I mentioned this to her the other night, that we just need to find male versions of each other, and we'll be set.
But in all seriousness, I decided last night that when I find a guy that I like being with more than Jamie, then maybe that's when I'll know I've found the right one.
I just love her, she is so great. And she is so good to me, so supportive, she was probably my biggest support through the whole NCLEX stress and test, wants to be the first to celebrate with me, she is always there for me.
I used to get really sad when I would think of her dating someone, or getting married, and leaving me in the dust. That was a really hard thought, especially at times when I really thought it could be imminent. But now, I will be sincerely happy for her. And I pray that she gets married before me. Mostly because, well, I want that for her so bad, because she wants it so so badly. Oh, so bad. It's so hard to see her not be able to find a husband when she just wants to be a wife and mom so bad.
But also because I think I will be more okay without her than she will be without me. And I don't mean that in a rude way at all. But I think she is a little more in need of someone, and I am that someone for her right now. She is so good at being thoughtful and affectionate, and I think she needs someone to be that way for. I also am a little better at being happy and having fun despite my singularity as well. And I really can't judge her, because she's been out of school and just working for so long. I've been blessed to be distracted by school for so long that it hasn't been as much of an issue, that I'm not dating or married. Some days are harder than others, but for the most part, I love life anyway. Jamie has a little bit harder time with it. And for those reasons which are understandable. But she focuses on the issue and talks about it so much, it kind of worries me. Doesn't worry me, but I wish I could help her not focus on it so much. Partly because it seems like that's when things happen, when people are busy doing other things in life.
I don't want that to sound like I am talking negatively about her at all. I love Jamie to death. She is my best friend. It's just hard to see her sad, even when she tries to cover it. I can usually tell when something is wrong or hard for her. And if I got married first, that would be really hard for her, I know, and would about kill me because I would know how hard that would be for her, and she would pretend that she was okay anyway. Because she's amazing. So I do, I pray nearly every day that she--and Wendy as well--finds a great guy to date and marry before I do.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Highlights of today--getting bitten and a date!
The highlights of my day were two things:
1. Trying to give a shot to the child who wanted nothing to do with the needle in my hand, so much so that he turned survival-mode on me, as well as his father and the other nurse trying to hold him still, and getting scratched, including some blood drawn, as well as bit. Sounds traumatic, but I was pretty amused. Shocked when I felt teeth against my skin on my arm, but I find it pretty entertaining the reactions we see in people, especially kids, in anticipation of getting their flu shot.
I'm okay, by the way.
2. Talking to Andy, Tinder Andy, on the phone. He called tonight to actually ask me out for Friday, which I couldn't do because I'm ironically already going out with someone else (another Tinder date). I'm way more excited to meet and go out with Andy than Brian, Andy and I get along really well via chat, and it was really fun to talk to him on the phone last night. Surprisingly fun. He seems like a good conversationalist.
1. Trying to give a shot to the child who wanted nothing to do with the needle in my hand, so much so that he turned survival-mode on me, as well as his father and the other nurse trying to hold him still, and getting scratched, including some blood drawn, as well as bit. Sounds traumatic, but I was pretty amused. Shocked when I felt teeth against my skin on my arm, but I find it pretty entertaining the reactions we see in people, especially kids, in anticipation of getting their flu shot.
I'm okay, by the way.
2. Talking to Andy, Tinder Andy, on the phone. He called tonight to actually ask me out for Friday, which I couldn't do because I'm ironically already going out with someone else (another Tinder date). I'm way more excited to meet and go out with Andy than Brian, Andy and I get along really well via chat, and it was really fun to talk to him on the phone last night. Surprisingly fun. He seems like a good conversationalist.
Monday, September 23, 2013
I PASSED THE NCLEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So this last week, since my last post, was crazy!
But to sum it up, I studied like crazy for the NCLEX Mon, Tues, and Wed., and Amanda Price (in my ward, now works for Paul too) took my Wed. night shift so I could go to bed earlier before my test. Took the NCLEX on Thurs, was totally prepared to be there for the whole six hours, and get at least 150 questions (you could get anywhere between 75 and the whole 265), and as soon as I answered the 75th question, it shut off, and I was done. I had been there just over 2 hours, and I was shocked! I never expected to be one of those people that only got 75 questions! I was so so relieved, and so happy to be able to leave, but over the next few hours started having some serious anxiety over whether or not I passed. I eventually checked the "tricky" way, and it seemed I did. But I couldn't be sure. But late that night, after Wendy, Jamie, and I had celebrated my being done (and likely having passed) my test, and then after working as well, my license had already officially posted on DOPL, and it was official. I had indeed passed and I am a nurse!!! This is crazy, honestly a crazy feeling. So surreal. And as far as me passing, I am still in awe and SO GRATEFUL. There really aren't words to describe how grateful I am to have passed, and I know that it was seriously a miracle. I mean, I studied a bunch, I'd been studying for about a month and a half, but I still felt so unprepared by myself. I knew it would take some serious help from my Heavenly Father to pass. And I am also so so blessed to have amazingly loving and supportive friends and family, many of whom were sincerely praying for me to pass (including Jamie, who also included me in her weekly fast the Sunday before, amazing friend; Wendy, Liz Stitt, and then much of my family). Also Maggie was totally there for me, all the way in VA.
I still just can't describe this feeling of being done, having passed that horrid test I have dreaded for so long. I can't believe I don't have to study for it anymore, nor for school! And I can't believe I don't have to take it again!!!! I am SO SO SO SO SO blessed.
The day after the NCLEX, Haley Elmer and I headed out to Sacramento to Sister Smith's (Emerald's) wedding! We both really couldn't afford to go, and she had tons of stuff going on with school, and I had a bunch of stuff I would miss this weekend, but we both felt like we should go. And we wanted to. So we rented a car, drove the 9 hours out there Friday afternoon, got a cheap motel Friday night, and went to the wedding on Sat. (yesterday). It was beautiful, and there were a bunch of other mission friends there, plus a husband (Cassie and Nate), which made it a lot of fun. We all went out to eat at Chile's after the wedding, shopping at the outlets to kill a few hours after that, and then to the reception. After which Haley and I stopped at Walmart to grab some food for the drive back Sunday, plus to try to find a cheap CD for the car on the way home (neither of us brought music, and I had signal so little that I couldn't play music from my phone for most of the trip, and we really wanted something for the drive home). We found an old Michael Buble CD. That would have to do. Not Sunday music, but nice and chill, at least. We both felt okay about it, under the circumstances. Then we went to Sister Fear's house, where the other mission friends were staying, and we all played a game called Bonanza, until about midnight. It was such a blast! Haley, Emily, and I were all totally wired and crazy hyper and giggly, and it was so much fun! I had forgotten how much fun I have with Emily! We laughed and laughed and laughed! Nate definitely thinks we're crazy. Which is pretty much true, so that's fine. :) He got a good kick out of us some, at least. :) But he's cool, I love that he will always come with Cassie and hang out with us sisters, he's a good sport, and fun to have around.
Haley and I just crashed on a couple extra couches they had there at the house, thankfully (saved us getting another hotel), and left early this morning, about 7 am. Stopped in Reno for a 9 am Sacrament mtg, in a YSA ward, nonetheless. Totally unplanned, but it was a fun bonus.:)
Then we got back to SLC just after 6:30 pm.
It was such a fun trip, and we were both so glad we went! Jamie dropped us off and picked us up at the airport, where we had rented a car. Then Jamie stayed and ate dinner here at our house, and hung out for a bit while we chatted and caught up and I cleaned my room and unpacked.
Then I went to work and now I am exhausted! Tomorrow I am sleeping in and not even setting an alarm, I'm so excited to get caught up on sleep. :)
AND, The Voice starts tomorrow!! Could life get any better??? I think not!
Alright, I'm typing crazy talk, gotta go to bed.
But to sum it up, I studied like crazy for the NCLEX Mon, Tues, and Wed., and Amanda Price (in my ward, now works for Paul too) took my Wed. night shift so I could go to bed earlier before my test. Took the NCLEX on Thurs, was totally prepared to be there for the whole six hours, and get at least 150 questions (you could get anywhere between 75 and the whole 265), and as soon as I answered the 75th question, it shut off, and I was done. I had been there just over 2 hours, and I was shocked! I never expected to be one of those people that only got 75 questions! I was so so relieved, and so happy to be able to leave, but over the next few hours started having some serious anxiety over whether or not I passed. I eventually checked the "tricky" way, and it seemed I did. But I couldn't be sure. But late that night, after Wendy, Jamie, and I had celebrated my being done (and likely having passed) my test, and then after working as well, my license had already officially posted on DOPL, and it was official. I had indeed passed and I am a nurse!!! This is crazy, honestly a crazy feeling. So surreal. And as far as me passing, I am still in awe and SO GRATEFUL. There really aren't words to describe how grateful I am to have passed, and I know that it was seriously a miracle. I mean, I studied a bunch, I'd been studying for about a month and a half, but I still felt so unprepared by myself. I knew it would take some serious help from my Heavenly Father to pass. And I am also so so blessed to have amazingly loving and supportive friends and family, many of whom were sincerely praying for me to pass (including Jamie, who also included me in her weekly fast the Sunday before, amazing friend; Wendy, Liz Stitt, and then much of my family). Also Maggie was totally there for me, all the way in VA.
I still just can't describe this feeling of being done, having passed that horrid test I have dreaded for so long. I can't believe I don't have to study for it anymore, nor for school! And I can't believe I don't have to take it again!!!! I am SO SO SO SO SO blessed.
The day after the NCLEX, Haley Elmer and I headed out to Sacramento to Sister Smith's (Emerald's) wedding! We both really couldn't afford to go, and she had tons of stuff going on with school, and I had a bunch of stuff I would miss this weekend, but we both felt like we should go. And we wanted to. So we rented a car, drove the 9 hours out there Friday afternoon, got a cheap motel Friday night, and went to the wedding on Sat. (yesterday). It was beautiful, and there were a bunch of other mission friends there, plus a husband (Cassie and Nate), which made it a lot of fun. We all went out to eat at Chile's after the wedding, shopping at the outlets to kill a few hours after that, and then to the reception. After which Haley and I stopped at Walmart to grab some food for the drive back Sunday, plus to try to find a cheap CD for the car on the way home (neither of us brought music, and I had signal so little that I couldn't play music from my phone for most of the trip, and we really wanted something for the drive home). We found an old Michael Buble CD. That would have to do. Not Sunday music, but nice and chill, at least. We both felt okay about it, under the circumstances. Then we went to Sister Fear's house, where the other mission friends were staying, and we all played a game called Bonanza, until about midnight. It was such a blast! Haley, Emily, and I were all totally wired and crazy hyper and giggly, and it was so much fun! I had forgotten how much fun I have with Emily! We laughed and laughed and laughed! Nate definitely thinks we're crazy. Which is pretty much true, so that's fine. :) He got a good kick out of us some, at least. :) But he's cool, I love that he will always come with Cassie and hang out with us sisters, he's a good sport, and fun to have around.
Haley and I just crashed on a couple extra couches they had there at the house, thankfully (saved us getting another hotel), and left early this morning, about 7 am. Stopped in Reno for a 9 am Sacrament mtg, in a YSA ward, nonetheless. Totally unplanned, but it was a fun bonus.:)
Then we got back to SLC just after 6:30 pm.
It was such a fun trip, and we were both so glad we went! Jamie dropped us off and picked us up at the airport, where we had rented a car. Then Jamie stayed and ate dinner here at our house, and hung out for a bit while we chatted and caught up and I cleaned my room and unpacked.
Then I went to work and now I am exhausted! Tomorrow I am sleeping in and not even setting an alarm, I'm so excited to get caught up on sleep. :)
AND, The Voice starts tomorrow!! Could life get any better??? I think not!
Alright, I'm typing crazy talk, gotta go to bed.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Hard night
I fell apart tonight. And here's why.
I take the NCLEX this coming Thurs (today was Sat.), and I have become very stressed about it, and am so afraid of not passing. SO afraid. I have been studying for the past few weeks, maybe four or five, at least some most days, but I have also done a lot of fun things during that time, and specifically this weekend, specifically today, when I probably should have been studying. I planned on studying for a while today, but didn't get to until about 10 pm tonight, when I was totally wasted from the Dirty Dash today (that took up way more hours than I had realized it would--left after 10 am, got back at 5 pm) and then going to the Fair tonight with Jamie. I didn't really want to go, I certainly needed to study. But she was meeting Mike, who she met on Tinder this week, for the first time, at the fair, and needed a wingman. I was happy to go, I just wasn't going to stay long so I could come home and study. Well, everything got pushed back to later in the evening than planned (after, like I said, getting home from the Dirty Dash way later than I had planned), and so we didn't get home til after 9:30 pm.
The other thing that pushed me over the edge tonight was that this guy, Mike, who Jamie has been really interested in ever since they started chatting via Tinder the other day, was really great. Which was great news, because he had seemed great so far, to both of us. And usually we don't go for the same type of guys, exactly. So it's never really been an issue, competition or anything. But tonight, after being around him for a little bit at the Fair, turns out he is the same kind of guy that I am attracted to, and I became sad and a little resentful or jealous. Plus, on top of this, he is 6'1'' and she is only 5'2", and that frustrates me at this moment because the only prospect I have (which is a very recent, and kind of exciting development, actually--I'll have to tell that story here soon), is pretty much my same height. I'm 5'7" and he told me (met him on Tinder as well) he is 5'7.5" (when he found out my height he said, "Perfect!" and I thought, "Nooooooo! Not perfect!!"). And if that is the only thing that is wrong with this guy (Andy), I can deal with it. But I still don't love it. I prefer taller guys, and now on top of this guy Mike being great, he's tall too, and she is so short! It's not fair!
So with the sudden sadness or jealousy of Jamie that this awesome guy Mike is very interested in her, then feeling very much like a third wheel and kind of resenting it because I would love it if Mike was interested in me, plus the stress of my upcoming test and not having been able to study much today and feeling like I should be studying instead of at the Fair..all of that combined with being overly tired and exhausted lead to an immediate breakdown as soon as I dropped Jamie off.
I had wanted Dad to give me a blessing this week, because he has told me twice in the last month or so, that he's been prompted to offer me a blessing, so I finally gave in and thought it wouldn't be a bad idea, but then tonight I was a wreck, so after telling mom the high points of what was wrong, she asked if I would like Dad to give me the blessing tonight, for my test, and I of course agreed. So he gave me one, and I was a mess through the whole thing. It was a great blessing, full of lots of reassuring things, specifically about me having really worked hard to prepare, and the HF wants to bless me for it, that they love me so much; he blessed me to specifically feel a peace and calm about things; he said that they are pleased with me for my efforts to do what's best and have balance in my life with the most important things (I felt like that was referring to my making scripture reading a priority every day and trying to go to the temple weekly now, etc.); he blessed me in regards to other pain I'm feeling (the Jamie thing, I could only assume, I think Mom had told him about it), and said (among other things I can't remember, I think those things were more general) that they (HF and JC) had great blessings in store for me, in regards to my own desires, in regards to my future family.
He blessed me specifically with a stronger memory this week, to recall the things I've learned and studied through school and preparing for this test (that was a neat blessing). He also counseled me, saying from HF, that I get to bed earlier and discipline myself to stick to a better schedule (or something to that effect), to go to bed and then get up early and study (maybe "study" wasn't specifically in there, but get up early was I think). I do need to go to bed earlier, so that was good to hear.
Anyway, I'm already going to bed way too late now, it's now after 2 am, but I really felt like I should write about this blessing. So that I can remember what was said, to recall on this week and for the future.
I feel just slightly better about the Jamie thing. But it's still hard when I think about it. It was hard to see him so into her, after seeing what a great guy he is, and then feeling like just the friend, the third wheel after a while (at first I was all friendly and we were all hanging out, but I wanted to give them space, so every now and then I'd walk ahead or something, and then I just got feeling bad about the whole thing and wasn't enjoying being there anymore, and so I was more quiet and not as fun, which a guy like him isn't going to be attracted to anyway! Geez, I do this to myself.).
But I want to be so happy for her, I don't want to feel jealous or resentful towards her about it, at all! I have been praying so much for she and Wendy to find husbands, before me, and soon. For multiple reasons, and now that it may be happening, or that she may at least start dating this great potential, I am happy for her that she found a great guy. I just hate that he is someone I would love to date too. I have been pleading with the Lord tonight to help me be so happy for her and not feel jealous at all. I don't want to.
And I still feel pretty stressed about my test. Not because I don't have faith and don't trust the blessing, I do. But I feel strongly that when "ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." I totally agree with that. But I'm worried that I haven't prepared enough. That I have spent too much time doing fun things, specifically this weekend, when I should have been studying. That's my fear. That I won't pass, and it will be because I didn't prepare enough. And that thought absolutely kills me.
I need to go to sleep. But I know HF knows and hears me and answers prayers, and I know that priesthood blessings are real. So hopefully I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow.
I take the NCLEX this coming Thurs (today was Sat.), and I have become very stressed about it, and am so afraid of not passing. SO afraid. I have been studying for the past few weeks, maybe four or five, at least some most days, but I have also done a lot of fun things during that time, and specifically this weekend, specifically today, when I probably should have been studying. I planned on studying for a while today, but didn't get to until about 10 pm tonight, when I was totally wasted from the Dirty Dash today (that took up way more hours than I had realized it would--left after 10 am, got back at 5 pm) and then going to the Fair tonight with Jamie. I didn't really want to go, I certainly needed to study. But she was meeting Mike, who she met on Tinder this week, for the first time, at the fair, and needed a wingman. I was happy to go, I just wasn't going to stay long so I could come home and study. Well, everything got pushed back to later in the evening than planned (after, like I said, getting home from the Dirty Dash way later than I had planned), and so we didn't get home til after 9:30 pm.
The other thing that pushed me over the edge tonight was that this guy, Mike, who Jamie has been really interested in ever since they started chatting via Tinder the other day, was really great. Which was great news, because he had seemed great so far, to both of us. And usually we don't go for the same type of guys, exactly. So it's never really been an issue, competition or anything. But tonight, after being around him for a little bit at the Fair, turns out he is the same kind of guy that I am attracted to, and I became sad and a little resentful or jealous. Plus, on top of this, he is 6'1'' and she is only 5'2", and that frustrates me at this moment because the only prospect I have (which is a very recent, and kind of exciting development, actually--I'll have to tell that story here soon), is pretty much my same height. I'm 5'7" and he told me (met him on Tinder as well) he is 5'7.5" (when he found out my height he said, "Perfect!" and I thought, "Nooooooo! Not perfect!!"). And if that is the only thing that is wrong with this guy (Andy), I can deal with it. But I still don't love it. I prefer taller guys, and now on top of this guy Mike being great, he's tall too, and she is so short! It's not fair!
So with the sudden sadness or jealousy of Jamie that this awesome guy Mike is very interested in her, then feeling very much like a third wheel and kind of resenting it because I would love it if Mike was interested in me, plus the stress of my upcoming test and not having been able to study much today and feeling like I should be studying instead of at the Fair..all of that combined with being overly tired and exhausted lead to an immediate breakdown as soon as I dropped Jamie off.
I had wanted Dad to give me a blessing this week, because he has told me twice in the last month or so, that he's been prompted to offer me a blessing, so I finally gave in and thought it wouldn't be a bad idea, but then tonight I was a wreck, so after telling mom the high points of what was wrong, she asked if I would like Dad to give me the blessing tonight, for my test, and I of course agreed. So he gave me one, and I was a mess through the whole thing. It was a great blessing, full of lots of reassuring things, specifically about me having really worked hard to prepare, and the HF wants to bless me for it, that they love me so much; he blessed me to specifically feel a peace and calm about things; he said that they are pleased with me for my efforts to do what's best and have balance in my life with the most important things (I felt like that was referring to my making scripture reading a priority every day and trying to go to the temple weekly now, etc.); he blessed me in regards to other pain I'm feeling (the Jamie thing, I could only assume, I think Mom had told him about it), and said (among other things I can't remember, I think those things were more general) that they (HF and JC) had great blessings in store for me, in regards to my own desires, in regards to my future family.
He blessed me specifically with a stronger memory this week, to recall the things I've learned and studied through school and preparing for this test (that was a neat blessing). He also counseled me, saying from HF, that I get to bed earlier and discipline myself to stick to a better schedule (or something to that effect), to go to bed and then get up early and study (maybe "study" wasn't specifically in there, but get up early was I think). I do need to go to bed earlier, so that was good to hear.
Anyway, I'm already going to bed way too late now, it's now after 2 am, but I really felt like I should write about this blessing. So that I can remember what was said, to recall on this week and for the future.
I feel just slightly better about the Jamie thing. But it's still hard when I think about it. It was hard to see him so into her, after seeing what a great guy he is, and then feeling like just the friend, the third wheel after a while (at first I was all friendly and we were all hanging out, but I wanted to give them space, so every now and then I'd walk ahead or something, and then I just got feeling bad about the whole thing and wasn't enjoying being there anymore, and so I was more quiet and not as fun, which a guy like him isn't going to be attracted to anyway! Geez, I do this to myself.).
But I want to be so happy for her, I don't want to feel jealous or resentful towards her about it, at all! I have been praying so much for she and Wendy to find husbands, before me, and soon. For multiple reasons, and now that it may be happening, or that she may at least start dating this great potential, I am happy for her that she found a great guy. I just hate that he is someone I would love to date too. I have been pleading with the Lord tonight to help me be so happy for her and not feel jealous at all. I don't want to.
And I still feel pretty stressed about my test. Not because I don't have faith and don't trust the blessing, I do. But I feel strongly that when "ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." I totally agree with that. But I'm worried that I haven't prepared enough. That I have spent too much time doing fun things, specifically this weekend, when I should have been studying. That's my fear. That I won't pass, and it will be because I didn't prepare enough. And that thought absolutely kills me.
I need to go to sleep. But I know HF knows and hears me and answers prayers, and I know that priesthood blessings are real. So hopefully I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Teaching RS: Law of chastity lesson, a highlight of my Gospel teaching experiences
I taught RS on Sunday (today is Thurs), and I felt like I should teach on Elder Bednar's talk from last GC (April 2013), called, "We Believe in Being Chaste." So I did. And it was basically a lesson on the law of chastity. I also used a bunch from the True To The Faith gospel reference book on Chastity, and some from the For The Strength of Youth, on Entertainment and Media.
Anyway, I just wanted to write about it because I was so blessed that it went so well. I didn't spend as much time on it as maybe I wanted to or usually do, because I've been studying for the NCLEX, and when it came time to teach I had all my material printed and highlighted and such, but I still hadn't decided how to start and I felt pretty disorganized. But it all turned out okay. In fact, I got a lot of really nice comments on the lesson. The Halls, the Whites (at least Sister White), Bishop and Connie, and even President Featherstone and his wife were there (Stake Pres)! Funny thing was they didn't all make me nervous, at least not more nervous than if they wouldn't have been there. I was happy that they were all there, especially because I got some really sweet, kind compliments about the lesson from them. Sister Hall specifically came up to me after to compliment me, the Featherstones said over and over how great it was, and Pres. F kept saying something like, "even though it was such an easy topic.." haha (later that night at the Stake fireside Sis. Featherstone kept saying how "perfect" it was, that she's heard so many lessons on the law of chastity, but this one was "perfect." I was so flattered!). And Bishop, sweet Bishop Christensen, I love him so much already, but after the lesson he told me what a great job I did and gave me a hug, and like leaned his head against mine as he hugged me, which he doesn't normally do. It was such a sweet, sincere hug and gesture, it just meant the world to me. I respect and admire and love him so much, it really meant a lot to me for him to pay such a compliment to me, in action and word.
I feel so blessed. I feel like I have been blessed with a gift to teach. I have always really enjoyed teaching, about the Gospel, especially, and I am so grateful for this gift. People made some comments about the stake Pres. being there, and the pressure, but I felt none of it. I was happy to have them there, I loved that they were. I think because I had confidence in my ability to teach and was happy to have them there for my lesson. That sounds kind of vain...maybe it is.
But anyway, I'm so grateful also for my confidence in talking about a subject that can be awkward or nervousing, because it wasn't really awkward for me at all. I don't really have a problem being blunt about things. I don't like to just say what I'm thinking always or share my opinions often, for fear of being wrong or offending people (I've learned that the hard way), but I have no problem relaying the blunt truth of what our prophets have taught.
And since then, at stake Institute last night, the Featherstones sat behind Jamie and I, and the teacher mentioned how in the future, he believed Pres. Featherstone was to teach a lesson on the law of chastity, and at that point Sis. F mentioned how great my lesson was again, and then the teacher said something about that being a good topic for a stake pres. to cover. And Pres. F leaned toward me and was like, "because I've learned from the best." It was so flattering. I have sooo so much respect and admiration for him as well, that it means so much to be complimented in that way. That's when Jamie was like (well, after Sis. F said her comment to me), "she was there?" and I was like, "Yeah, they both were." And Jamie was like, "Oh wow..pressure" or something like that. But it really didn't make me feel any more pressure. I love them, and I know they love me (as well as the whole stake, not just me). I feel blessed to have had opportunities to be in their home (or their backyard, at least, a couple times), and get to know them personally a little bit. I love the Featherstones.
Anyway, I just wanted to write about it because I was so blessed that it went so well. I didn't spend as much time on it as maybe I wanted to or usually do, because I've been studying for the NCLEX, and when it came time to teach I had all my material printed and highlighted and such, but I still hadn't decided how to start and I felt pretty disorganized. But it all turned out okay. In fact, I got a lot of really nice comments on the lesson. The Halls, the Whites (at least Sister White), Bishop and Connie, and even President Featherstone and his wife were there (Stake Pres)! Funny thing was they didn't all make me nervous, at least not more nervous than if they wouldn't have been there. I was happy that they were all there, especially because I got some really sweet, kind compliments about the lesson from them. Sister Hall specifically came up to me after to compliment me, the Featherstones said over and over how great it was, and Pres. F kept saying something like, "even though it was such an easy topic.." haha (later that night at the Stake fireside Sis. Featherstone kept saying how "perfect" it was, that she's heard so many lessons on the law of chastity, but this one was "perfect." I was so flattered!). And Bishop, sweet Bishop Christensen, I love him so much already, but after the lesson he told me what a great job I did and gave me a hug, and like leaned his head against mine as he hugged me, which he doesn't normally do. It was such a sweet, sincere hug and gesture, it just meant the world to me. I respect and admire and love him so much, it really meant a lot to me for him to pay such a compliment to me, in action and word.
I feel so blessed. I feel like I have been blessed with a gift to teach. I have always really enjoyed teaching, about the Gospel, especially, and I am so grateful for this gift. People made some comments about the stake Pres. being there, and the pressure, but I felt none of it. I was happy to have them there, I loved that they were. I think because I had confidence in my ability to teach and was happy to have them there for my lesson. That sounds kind of vain...maybe it is.
But anyway, I'm so grateful also for my confidence in talking about a subject that can be awkward or nervousing, because it wasn't really awkward for me at all. I don't really have a problem being blunt about things. I don't like to just say what I'm thinking always or share my opinions often, for fear of being wrong or offending people (I've learned that the hard way), but I have no problem relaying the blunt truth of what our prophets have taught.
And since then, at stake Institute last night, the Featherstones sat behind Jamie and I, and the teacher mentioned how in the future, he believed Pres. Featherstone was to teach a lesson on the law of chastity, and at that point Sis. F mentioned how great my lesson was again, and then the teacher said something about that being a good topic for a stake pres. to cover. And Pres. F leaned toward me and was like, "because I've learned from the best." It was so flattering. I have sooo so much respect and admiration for him as well, that it means so much to be complimented in that way. That's when Jamie was like (well, after Sis. F said her comment to me), "she was there?" and I was like, "Yeah, they both were." And Jamie was like, "Oh wow..pressure" or something like that. But it really didn't make me feel any more pressure. I love them, and I know they love me (as well as the whole stake, not just me). I feel blessed to have had opportunities to be in their home (or their backyard, at least, a couple times), and get to know them personally a little bit. I love the Featherstones.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Blessed car conversation with Wendy
I'm especially thankful for Wendy today.
We went camping last night up at Lava Hot Springs, with Jamie's family. So there was Jamie, Wendy, me, Mark, Tron, Keri (Mark's friend), Kaylie Walker, Melanie and Matte and baby Brooke, and their parents. When we left yesterday, I didn't want to go. I was just totally exhausted from going and doing fun things, ironically. I can't think of the last weekend I just stayed home. This summer, and specifically the last month or so, has been so fun, but so much. We have gone and done so many fun things, and Jamie and I have become especially close, but I am getting burned out, and frankly, am glad the summer is almost over. I'm just yeah, exhausted from fun things. I am ready to get back to work, and feel productive and busy again. I'm really hoping to get a job soon (I had an offer the other day, for the BMT unit at LDS, where Maggie and I did our capstones, but then I just didn't feel good about it, so I turned it down.), for multiple reasons, but that's one: to work.
But back to the camping story. So I was just really tired and exhausted from going, going, going, but I couldn't not go, since I had said I wanted to and that I was coming (just the day before, I was excited. Then Jamie and I had a sleepover, which is a common occurance these days, and then I (both of us) was totally lacking sleep, which is pretty much always the case when we have sleepovers.) But, so lack of sleep definitely added to me not being as excited anymore. And there are just so many things I want to do now, at home, projects and stuff, that I would have loved to stay home and work on. Or blogging, for example.
Anyway, I ended up riding up with Wendy, and Jamie drove alone (Wendy was leaving in the morning to go to Twin Falls to her sister's). I felt bad that someone had to drive alone, but I was also really grateful to get to ride with Wendy. It's been a while since we really chatted, just she and I, and Jamie and I have been spending so much time together, often without Wendy. And I also welcomed the time away from Jamie. I love her so much, and she is my best friend, but sometimes I think we almost spend too much time together, and it's just too much. And it had gotten to that point yesterday for me, after our sleepover and everything the night before. And breaks are good, even from good things.
So I was kind of in a bad mood as we left, and Wendy thought it was because I "had" to ride with her (no way was that the reason!), but I told her why I was (just from being exhausted from always going and doing fun things), and that started a really long and great conversation that I'm so grateful for.
As Jamie and I have become closer and closer, and have been spending more time together, just the two of us, Wendy has (not surprisingly) been feeling slightly left out and hurt. Not a ton, but definitely some. Like I said, I wasn't super surprised (I've been wondering if Jamie's and my time together hanging out all the time has been affecting her in a negative way--because, the thing is, to my knowledge, we haven't been purposely leaving her out, we just haven't had to work, or not as much these last two weeks, as Wendy, so we've just had more time to hang out), but I felt really bad about it. Wendy shared some other related frustrations and sources of anxiety, including seeing her and Jamie's friendship changing recently, that she has noticed. She became emotional about it (at one point wondered out loud how I got that out of her..:), and eventually she made me emotional too. Wendy and I both shared feelings about the situation, including me feeling like the time Jamie and I spend together is perhaps becoming too much. She helped me to see some things, including the Jamie thing, in good, fresh perspective, and was also very kind to help me see some things I need to perhaps change (like always being with Jamie, and what that looks like to others, like guys, and how if we keep going like this, we may seem less available, if we're always together, and what not). I really appreciated her honesty with me, about how she's been feeling about the me and Jamie friendship evolving, and about some things I should possibly step back and re-evaluate in my life. That is a true friend. She certainly did it with love.
We also talked about guys, and our possible plans of action, or our next move in seeking a husband. She really wants me to message Aaron Hammond (who is still single), and ask him if he wants to go grab lunch sometime and catch up. I want to, I'm just scared to. We also talked about both getting on Match.com (online dating website), just for a month, with this groupon I got. It's for $5, just for a month I think, so we'll probably both just try it out for a month. I have had absolutely no desire to get back on online dating, until I saw this groupon the other day for Match.com, and it kind of got me thinking about it again. And it became even more appealing when we were talking about both doing it. :)
Anyway, so things have been clarified and are much better with Wendy. She thought that we didn't want her around and stuff, which has NEVER been the case, at least not with me. I absolutely love the girl, and love having her around, anytime! I'm so sad that she has felt that way or anything like it, but I'm also so grateful we can be open with each other, and for the healing and repairing and clarification that took place her in car on the way to Lava yesterday. We were texting some tonight and I told her that I feel like that conversation, and getting to ride with just her yesterday, was an answer to unspoken prayers, and that I am so grateful for the ride. I realized it was an answer to some spoken prayers as well. What a blessing it was, and that she is in my life.
We went camping last night up at Lava Hot Springs, with Jamie's family. So there was Jamie, Wendy, me, Mark, Tron, Keri (Mark's friend), Kaylie Walker, Melanie and Matte and baby Brooke, and their parents. When we left yesterday, I didn't want to go. I was just totally exhausted from going and doing fun things, ironically. I can't think of the last weekend I just stayed home. This summer, and specifically the last month or so, has been so fun, but so much. We have gone and done so many fun things, and Jamie and I have become especially close, but I am getting burned out, and frankly, am glad the summer is almost over. I'm just yeah, exhausted from fun things. I am ready to get back to work, and feel productive and busy again. I'm really hoping to get a job soon (I had an offer the other day, for the BMT unit at LDS, where Maggie and I did our capstones, but then I just didn't feel good about it, so I turned it down.), for multiple reasons, but that's one: to work.
But back to the camping story. So I was just really tired and exhausted from going, going, going, but I couldn't not go, since I had said I wanted to and that I was coming (just the day before, I was excited. Then Jamie and I had a sleepover, which is a common occurance these days, and then I (both of us) was totally lacking sleep, which is pretty much always the case when we have sleepovers.) But, so lack of sleep definitely added to me not being as excited anymore. And there are just so many things I want to do now, at home, projects and stuff, that I would have loved to stay home and work on. Or blogging, for example.
Anyway, I ended up riding up with Wendy, and Jamie drove alone (Wendy was leaving in the morning to go to Twin Falls to her sister's). I felt bad that someone had to drive alone, but I was also really grateful to get to ride with Wendy. It's been a while since we really chatted, just she and I, and Jamie and I have been spending so much time together, often without Wendy. And I also welcomed the time away from Jamie. I love her so much, and she is my best friend, but sometimes I think we almost spend too much time together, and it's just too much. And it had gotten to that point yesterday for me, after our sleepover and everything the night before. And breaks are good, even from good things.
So I was kind of in a bad mood as we left, and Wendy thought it was because I "had" to ride with her (no way was that the reason!), but I told her why I was (just from being exhausted from always going and doing fun things), and that started a really long and great conversation that I'm so grateful for.
As Jamie and I have become closer and closer, and have been spending more time together, just the two of us, Wendy has (not surprisingly) been feeling slightly left out and hurt. Not a ton, but definitely some. Like I said, I wasn't super surprised (I've been wondering if Jamie's and my time together hanging out all the time has been affecting her in a negative way--because, the thing is, to my knowledge, we haven't been purposely leaving her out, we just haven't had to work, or not as much these last two weeks, as Wendy, so we've just had more time to hang out), but I felt really bad about it. Wendy shared some other related frustrations and sources of anxiety, including seeing her and Jamie's friendship changing recently, that she has noticed. She became emotional about it (at one point wondered out loud how I got that out of her..:), and eventually she made me emotional too. Wendy and I both shared feelings about the situation, including me feeling like the time Jamie and I spend together is perhaps becoming too much. She helped me to see some things, including the Jamie thing, in good, fresh perspective, and was also very kind to help me see some things I need to perhaps change (like always being with Jamie, and what that looks like to others, like guys, and how if we keep going like this, we may seem less available, if we're always together, and what not). I really appreciated her honesty with me, about how she's been feeling about the me and Jamie friendship evolving, and about some things I should possibly step back and re-evaluate in my life. That is a true friend. She certainly did it with love.
We also talked about guys, and our possible plans of action, or our next move in seeking a husband. She really wants me to message Aaron Hammond (who is still single), and ask him if he wants to go grab lunch sometime and catch up. I want to, I'm just scared to. We also talked about both getting on Match.com (online dating website), just for a month, with this groupon I got. It's for $5, just for a month I think, so we'll probably both just try it out for a month. I have had absolutely no desire to get back on online dating, until I saw this groupon the other day for Match.com, and it kind of got me thinking about it again. And it became even more appealing when we were talking about both doing it. :)
Anyway, so things have been clarified and are much better with Wendy. She thought that we didn't want her around and stuff, which has NEVER been the case, at least not with me. I absolutely love the girl, and love having her around, anytime! I'm so sad that she has felt that way or anything like it, but I'm also so grateful we can be open with each other, and for the healing and repairing and clarification that took place her in car on the way to Lava yesterday. We were texting some tonight and I told her that I feel like that conversation, and getting to ride with just her yesterday, was an answer to unspoken prayers, and that I am so grateful for the ride. I realized it was an answer to some spoken prayers as well. What a blessing it was, and that she is in my life.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Best Friends
Jamie and Wendy.
I am so blessed to have these girls as my best friends. I have known them for over a year now, and we have so much fun together and they haven't gotten sick of me yet, which is a blessing in itself. :)
But seriously, they are the best. Jamie is my best friend, but Wendy is a close second. Jamie is 28 (I'm 26 now, close to 27..) and Wendy just turned 32. They are roommates and I am kind of the third roommate. I stay over there frequently, I even have a toothbrush that stays there in their holder on the bathroom counter. We have done so many fun things together this summer, including Ragnar, Idaho for the 4th of July, the Drive-In, snow cones, dollar movies, sleeping outside, many a sleepover, feeding the missionaries, sleeping at Grandma's in Huntsville and boating at Pineview, and many a sleepover. We made this "Summer O' Fun 2013" list at the beginning of the summer, and we have done quite a few things on there. Some things just Jamie and I have done, but it's been a busy, fun-packed summer with these girls. And they have been so supportive of me through nursing school, including making sure to include celebrating my graduation at Wendy's birthday party, since they were on the same day. Jamie even made me a nurse cake to have with Wendy's watermelon cake we made her. They're honestly the best.
Tonight Jamie came with me to the smores party that Kat (in our ward) invited me to. Jamie's brother, Mark, who I love, went too, because he's good friends with Kat's roommates, so we all went over there for a bit, it was fun, met some crazy guys, including one who picked up and cradled Jamie like a baby and kissed her on the cheek..haha. And then we went to my house, grabbed some cookies that were on the counter, threw them in baggies, and then delivered them to and visited Carolyn Clements and Ali (I forget her last name) in our ward, both of whom have been in need today.
Then we went back to Jamie's (with the pitcher of homemade raspberry ice cream I stole from our freezer) and she baked some really yummy cookies real quick that she had the dough for, and we had cookies and ice cream while we all chatted about Wendy possibly buying a house in the near future, my blind date on Tues, them following us there and eating in the same restaurant (ha!), being done with singles wards, needing change, and the frustrations of not finding marriage.
Wendy, like I said, just turned 32, and it's been hard for her, I think she's feeling much older and more anxious to get married. She expressed a lot of frustrations and feelings to us, and cried as she did, and it just broke my heart. I was tearing up with her, because she just wants to badly, SO badly, to be a wife and mother. She desires to be a mom so much, and is so faithful and such an incredible person. She will make an incredible wife and mother, and it is so hard to see her want it so bad and not be able to enjoy those blessings yet. And to not know why.
Jamie has similar concerns, but she is a few years behind Wendy in age. But I found out tonight that she (Jamie) is now fasting every Sunday until she either finds a new job or husband.
We are all happy and have a lot of fun together, but we each have a definite desire to be married. They do stronger than I do, I think, probably because I have been busy with school for so long, I haven't had as much time to focus on or want that as much. But these girls, they are so amazing, both of them. Beautiful, spiritual, educated, fun, athletic, talented, easy going. It's so hard to see them want something so righteous as marriage and motherhood, and not be able to have it right now, and not know why.
But I sure am grateful for the time I get with them, they are two of my very favorite people to spend time with, and I am so blessed because they are in my life.
I am so blessed to have these girls as my best friends. I have known them for over a year now, and we have so much fun together and they haven't gotten sick of me yet, which is a blessing in itself. :)
But seriously, they are the best. Jamie is my best friend, but Wendy is a close second. Jamie is 28 (I'm 26 now, close to 27..) and Wendy just turned 32. They are roommates and I am kind of the third roommate. I stay over there frequently, I even have a toothbrush that stays there in their holder on the bathroom counter. We have done so many fun things together this summer, including Ragnar, Idaho for the 4th of July, the Drive-In, snow cones, dollar movies, sleeping outside, many a sleepover, feeding the missionaries, sleeping at Grandma's in Huntsville and boating at Pineview, and many a sleepover. We made this "Summer O' Fun 2013" list at the beginning of the summer, and we have done quite a few things on there. Some things just Jamie and I have done, but it's been a busy, fun-packed summer with these girls. And they have been so supportive of me through nursing school, including making sure to include celebrating my graduation at Wendy's birthday party, since they were on the same day. Jamie even made me a nurse cake to have with Wendy's watermelon cake we made her. They're honestly the best.
Tonight Jamie came with me to the smores party that Kat (in our ward) invited me to. Jamie's brother, Mark, who I love, went too, because he's good friends with Kat's roommates, so we all went over there for a bit, it was fun, met some crazy guys, including one who picked up and cradled Jamie like a baby and kissed her on the cheek..haha. And then we went to my house, grabbed some cookies that were on the counter, threw them in baggies, and then delivered them to and visited Carolyn Clements and Ali (I forget her last name) in our ward, both of whom have been in need today.
Then we went back to Jamie's (with the pitcher of homemade raspberry ice cream I stole from our freezer) and she baked some really yummy cookies real quick that she had the dough for, and we had cookies and ice cream while we all chatted about Wendy possibly buying a house in the near future, my blind date on Tues, them following us there and eating in the same restaurant (ha!), being done with singles wards, needing change, and the frustrations of not finding marriage.
Wendy, like I said, just turned 32, and it's been hard for her, I think she's feeling much older and more anxious to get married. She expressed a lot of frustrations and feelings to us, and cried as she did, and it just broke my heart. I was tearing up with her, because she just wants to badly, SO badly, to be a wife and mother. She desires to be a mom so much, and is so faithful and such an incredible person. She will make an incredible wife and mother, and it is so hard to see her want it so bad and not be able to enjoy those blessings yet. And to not know why.
Jamie has similar concerns, but she is a few years behind Wendy in age. But I found out tonight that she (Jamie) is now fasting every Sunday until she either finds a new job or husband.
We are all happy and have a lot of fun together, but we each have a definite desire to be married. They do stronger than I do, I think, probably because I have been busy with school for so long, I haven't had as much time to focus on or want that as much. But these girls, they are so amazing, both of them. Beautiful, spiritual, educated, fun, athletic, talented, easy going. It's so hard to see them want something so righteous as marriage and motherhood, and not be able to have it right now, and not know why.
But I sure am grateful for the time I get with them, they are two of my very favorite people to spend time with, and I am so blessed because they are in my life.
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