Thursday, March 8, 2012

Poops!

Besides waking up late and missing the chance to help Eda with her shower again, today was a good day. Because I woke up late enough that there was no way I would be able to get ready and get to work before she showered, I stayed in bed and snoozed a few more dozen times (not really that many) before getting up. It felt very good.
I only did my personal assistant job today, which is always nice after working both some days. It's kind of relaxing. I really like my job, have I said that? Now that I'm a lot busier with it, and really could work it for 8 hours a day if I chose (depends on when I choose to get there sometimes), it is really great. I don't work by number of hours I have left, but I basically have certain things to get done every day, and when it's all done, and I've helped everyone I need to, I can go home. Nowadays, that usually ends up being around 5:45 or 6 pm or so, but I'm kind of my own boss, I basically do my own thing, and I really like what I do. I love being able to spend time with these people and really care for them. I love not having to worry about answering call lights and needing to get out of someone's room because someone else is calling. I love the relationships I'm able to develop with the residents I help, such as with Dean, Bob Horner, Jo Stewart, Margaret Reedy, and Ginny. I never have loved helping Ginny as a PCA, because you're usually in a hurry when she calls, and she moves slow and talks a lot and I just never loved helping her a ton. I had the wrong attitude, was really the problem. But for the past couple/few weeks she's had this bad skin reaction, so I've been helping her morning and evening (late afternoon, before I go home) with her special skin care, and I'm usually not in a huge hurry, and I don't have to worry about other people needing me while I'm with her, and it's made a huge difference. I love the woman now. And she really loves me too, she's so sweet. She has her quirks, but she is very sweet and appreciative, and funny too.
Anyway, funny thing happened today. When I was in Margaret's room, scheduling with her (times to go get her dog's shots and go to RC Willey to get a stable bedside table) and going through her mail and bills, I saw that her dog, Reese, had pooped on the carpet (which recently, her nephew, Dan, has asked me to check for that, and let me know when it happens). She was just going to clean it up later, after I left, which was fine with me, because it didn't stink, and didn't look like it was wetting into the carpet or anything. But then later, I was trying to leave, and went over to her filing drawer to quickly file some things away, and I wasn't watching where I was stepping, and I totally stepped in the poop! I smeared it a little into the carpet, and thereby created a worse mess to cleanup than it was. Ha! I felt like an idiot, because I was the one who had pointed it out to her... We got it cleaned up pretty good.

I gotta go to bed, I'm falling asleep.. but tomorrow's Friday!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

My day

I'm so tired, but real quick, today was a good day. Yesterday was mostly good, I worked nearly all day, 6 am-about 6 pm, and work was good. But I found out that I didn't get into the U of A nursing program. That was a major bummer. It wasn't so much the program or what not, it was that I was going to be able to live in the same city as Peter and Lindsay, which I had so gotten my hopes up for, for at least the possibility. I cried a bunch yesterday and last night, every now and then. I felt like it was a cruel joke, and don't understand why I was let to get my hopes up about living near them, about us being in the same city, just for them to be dashed. I don't get it.

But today I have felt better, probably mostly because I worked all day, 8:50 am to 10 pm, so I didn't really have time to think about it much at all, but I do feel some better about the whole thing. I know things will work out, and that HF still has a plan for me, I just am sad about not being able to live by them. Like Mom said, it just seemed to really fit. We are all shocked that I didn't get in, for that reason (Peter just got accepted to a pediatric dental program there in Tucson, so when I got my interview for U of A there in Tucson, we all couldn't believe it, and thought that it must be meant to be, I think.)

Anyway, but work was good, and for working 13 hours, I was not nearly as tired as I should have been when I left, which was so nice (I worked as personal assistant for about 9 hours, then covered the second half of Liz's shift from 6-10 pm). My body is exhausted though, I can feel it now.

A highlight of the day...getting to sit in Marlyn Pollard's dentist office for an hour while she got worked on, and read my book (the first book of Hunger Games--so good!!). That was great. That I got paid to do that. Also, I just love Dean. I see him usually three times a day, and he is so concerned with getting me married. It's hilarious. He's always talking about it, asking things like, "So what boy were you out with last night?" or "Did you get married this weekend?" or "How are we going to find you a husband?" I love it. I keep telling him that if I ever do get married, it will be because of him. He is trying harder than anyone to make it happen. It cracks me up. Especially when he asks me what boy I was with last night, and I tell him I wasn't, that I was here, at work.

Okay, I've got to go brush my teeth, read my scriptures real quick, and go to sleep. I'm about to crash. Goodnight!

Dang Nate

So, dang it, I am a little bit crushing on Nate again. Gaah. He was really fun after ward prayer (that's why I go to ward prayer, for the "after party," as I call it. The after party is always way fun, whoever stays.) A bunch of us were writing nice notes, and then we were messing around with the new ward anonymous nice note texting system that Alex Swan created (genius). Nate and Alex stuck around til I was ready to leave (after writing my fill of nice notes..:), which I was flattered by, and we all walked out together, and talked and joked as we walked home from the Lion House. Joylyn was there at the parking lot by BDA, and we ran into her and we were all joking and laughing and cracking up, about the stars we thought were planets (Joylyn thought one was "twinkling"), and the text Nate sent me via the new ward text system, and whatever else. Then as we kept walking toward BDA Nate suddenly started playing "tag" and got me first, said, "You're it!"
So then when I got home later (from Amy and Allison's apt., where I had taken my computer over earlier to write in my journal, and where we watched Prince of Egypt--love that movie) I found all the nice notes that Nate had brought over, all but one of which were for me (made me feel so good..but it's really only cuz my roommates never go to ward stuff, so they don't know people and stuff, I think). But I read the one that I had given Nate to write to me (put my name at the top for him :), and though it had a joking tone to it, the things he said in it really meant a lot to me. I was very flattered.

On the outside he wrote "M-Cakes my love, 29" and inside he wrote "(Dearest Melissa (I wrote that:)) It's hard to find words. No literally, have you ever found words in the wild. If I had to say something about you, like if I was forced, with a gun to my head, I would probably say, 'Gee, that Melissa sure is one swell girl.' Perhaps I might actually say, 'What lovely everything Melissa has, she most certainly is among the most bombest people ion the planet, for real.' I (heart) you. (Heart)/SA (Secret Admirer)"

Coming from him, I thought it was very sweet. It's not often that he is a real sincere, complimentary person, mostly he just jokes around. The rare times I have had a real conversation with him, like the night before when I was asking him a bunch about his mission, it is very enjoyable and he is very attractive. But yeah, the note was essentially him joking around, but I feel like there is truth behind what he wrote, I mean that he actually maybe means those nice things. I sound really conceited right not, I realize. But that's not how I mean this, I was just very flattered and taken by surprise.

Anyway, that and then the text he sent me through that system..it was in French, and he translated it for me, and for others again after that, as it kept coming up, and he said that essentially it meant "I like you, really (like seriously)." I didn't know what that meant, or if there was any actual meaning behind those words, but I figured he could have said a thousand other random things, to test out the system (which he was doing), but he didn't. Again, I was flattered. Maybe for no reason, but nevertheless, I was. I wanted to text him back something witty, and it wasn't til we weren't together anymore that I thought of something. But via google translate, I texted him back (in French), "Then why don't you ask me out already?" partly just to see what he would do, to give him a little reciprocation back, if that's what he was looking for. But also to be funny. He responded that he didn't know what that meant, and I said (again in French), that's too bad. And he said, "indeed." So that was the end of that. And then I wasn't feeling it so much with him anymore. And then actually this past Monday night our group went to Brother Loveland's mom's house for home evening, and at that activity, I wasn't super impressed with Nate. So he's back off the board again, happy to report. :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Brown sisters

So one of the greatest blessings in my life are two amazing new friends: Amy and Allison Brown.
Amy is my first counselor, and Allison is her older sister. They live together here in BDA 2 (where I actually am right now..ha, it's basically my second home), and they are SO AWESOME. They are from SL as well, and actually went to Olympus too! Anyway, we actually share standards. Mine are high, as far as media I watch/listen to, etc., and I feel like I've finally found friends who have the same standards!! It's been SO refreshing and comforting and nice and FUN to know them and hang out with them!
I started getting to be really good friends with Amy, because she is one of my counselors, but she and Allison are so close, and I just love Allison, just as much pretty much. They are often a packaged deal, which is so much fun, they have a really good relationship, so it's just twice the fun when they are both there.
Anyway, I feel extremely blessed that they are in the ward. I honestly feel like they are here, at least partly, for my benefit. I am not loving being around my roommates so much lately, and these Brown sisters are my escape. They have been my sanctuary lately, for which I am so so grateful. I love them. We all get along so well, it's so nice and so fun!
Anyway, I can't really say enough about these girls and what a blessing they have been, and ARE, in my life right now. I am so blessed.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Tender mercy. Ha.

So I have once again fallen into having a crush on Nate Fairbourn. This has happened multiple times. He's so funny and fun to be around, and we have really similar senses of humor. He's just a year younger than me, we even went to the same high school. He is one of the more mature guys in the ward, in a some ways. He is executive secretary, and has been all year, and is mature spiritually, and socially too. He's been in the ward since before I moved in, which was just over a year ago, and we've become fairly good friends. And by that I mean we are often at the same social events, hanging out in the same group. Our friendship mainly consists of joking back and forth, and often poking fun at each other. But in a fun, friendly way. It's fun.
One of my favorite things about him is his size.
I can't believe I'm actually writing all this about him...oh man.
But yeah, he is not just another skinny guy, he actually has mass, which is so refreshing. And attractive.
Anyway, so I'll fall into this trap of thinking he's attractive, and develop another crush on him, until I realize and remember why he is not the one for me. There are some things that he does/says that are not impressive, or attractive. Rather immature, really.
So recently, after quite a while of not being interested in him, I found myself crushing on him again, you could say. And then we were waiting in the Bishop's office after church today, and Natalie (Newman) was like, "I'm going to play a game on my ipad," and then Nate was like, "I'm going to play a game," or something like that. And he pulled up some video game he had been talking about, and started playing it, right there, after church, in the Bishop's office waiting area. I was very unimpressed, and rather turned-off. But I was grateful too, because I felt like it was a little tender mercy from the Lord, to show me that he really isn't someone I want to be with. And then I wasn't interested in him anymore, which is good, because nothing will ever happen with him, I'm sure. And when I'm interested in a guy like that, I like finding a reason not to like him, so as to avoid the disappointment of that--nothing ever happening. :)
So for this little experience, I was grateful.

Friday, February 3, 2012

End of Day 1, in Penn.

So, by the time I landed for the last time yesterday, I was so SO tired, exhausted emotionally from trying so hard to want to go to PA school again, and also overwhelmed by what I was about to have to do: get my rental car, actually drive it, and somehow find my way to my hotel. All while at risk of getting lost and/or killed.
I got off the plane, basically walked out of auto-pilot-ness, to the rental car desks, got the keys after a few minutes, and she asked me if I knew where the rental car lot was. I said no. She directed me to it. Before that, she had offered me a GPS, at $14.95 a day, which I seriously considered, but in wanting to save money, and thinking I could find my way with my maps I so painstakenly printed out the night before, I declined.

So when I walked outside, toward the lot of cars, I expected to see another building, where I would go and they would tell me something else of what to do.
No building. Just the lot of nice rental cars, sitting there in the dark cold night.
Suddenly I was a very lost and alone Melissa. I had no idea what I was doing. And I think it was at this point that I started to cry.
I walked towards the cars, figuring that it was at this point that I just needed to find my car and drive it away. After all, I did have the keys in my hand. But how to find the car I was supposed to drive??
After a minute I figured out that the spaces were numbered, and on my contract was written the number Spot 15.  So after another minute and undoubtedly guided by someone above, I found the car.
I got in, and suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed and lost and alone. And like I was not going to be able to find all these places on my own, with just my mapquest directions. I fell apart. I was crying pretty good for a minute, then I tryed to calm down, said a prayer for help, and pulled out. I thought I should at least try to head toward the hotel with my printed directions.

However, before I even got away from the airport area, I already felt lost, so I thought, "Forget it, I'm going back for a GPS." So I headed back, and after driving around 2 more times, I re-parked in the rental lot, and went in, up to the same girl at the Budget desk, and told her I decided I did want a GPS.

She was so nice and got me one, and even gave me a nice little orientation on it, after I told her I've not really used one a whole lot.

So out of the airport I again went, this time armed with my new little GPS friend, and much more courage and confidence.

As soon as I merely turned it on, put in the address of the hotel, and it told me which way to go to even get out of the airport, I was never more grateful for a GPS in my life. I had hope, and was actually excited to drive now, in this nice little car.

First thing I did after that was find a couple good stations on the radio. At first I thought maybe I shouldn't listen to the radio, this was an unfamiliar place already. But then I bagged that idea and felt it would calm my nerves and put me more at ease than I had been all day. It did. I love music.

So with the help of my little GPS friend, I got to the hotel just fine, in probably about 20 minutes, checked in, and headed up to my room. The elevator was paneled with mirrors, and it was scary what I saw in them. I looked like a wreck. Which wasn't real surprising, since I'd been on and off planes, sleeping sitting up throughout the day.

I was so glad to get in and have a place to rest and sleep, and to call my own for a night. I loved my little room.

Camille called pretty soon after I got into my room, and it was such a needed phone call, and totally made my day. She was so sweet to ask about my flight and travels, listen to my whole traumatic experience, hear me talk about my worries and frustrations (cried some at this point) about not knowing what I want to do still (for a career), and then encourage me about the interview and wanting to be a PA. As I talked to her I was getting ready to  run to Wal-mart, which I mentioned at the end of our phone call, after which she made me promise not to go til the morning. It was 11 pm by now, and she reminded me that I wasn't in Provo anymore. After realizing she had a good point, I promised her I wouldn't.

At the end of the call, a couple of times, she said to me, very sincerely, "I love you." We say "love you" all the time at the end of phone calls, but never with the "I." For some reason that makes it so much more meaningful. And she said it twice. It really touched me.

After hanging up, I broke down and just cried. I was so, SO grateful for that phone call. It meant so much to me that Camille would call me at that point, knowing I was getting in to PA around that time. And the things she said and everything. I felt so much love and gratitude. I've kind of struggled with how I've felt that she and I haven't been as close in the last while as we used to be, and it bothers me. So last night meant a lot.

I got ready for bed and then called Mom. Talked to her for a while, and then checked my email, sent one, caught up on facebook, then researched Kings College some more, to be ready for my interview. By the time I got to bed, it was almost 2 am there (midnight at home). I went to sleep with the heater rumbling, but felt very comfy and safe and happy snuggled up in a nice, clean bed.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I'm in PA--Crazy!

Well, I'm here in Wilkes-barre, PA, in my hotel room, safe and sound. But not before a very long, exhausting, and somewhat emotional day.
I was traveling on airplanes for ten hours, boarded three planes, had two layovers, including one that was almost three hours in NJ, and after surviving the nausea-inducing bumpiness of the little propeller-plane of the last leg of my trip, I was on ground again, and would be for the next day and a half.
I will talk about my traumatic next twenty minutes or so, later. It's past midnight here, and I've got to get ready for my interview tomorrow and then go to bed so I can go to Wal-Mart early and get mousse for my hair, because I couldn't bring mine, since it was more than 3 oz., and I didn't check any luggage (best thing I ever did).
Goodnight!