End of Day 1, in Penn.

So, by the time I landed for the last time yesterday, I was so SO tired, exhausted emotionally from trying so hard to want to go to PA school again, and also overwhelmed by what I was about to have to do: get my rental car, actually drive it, and somehow find my way to my hotel. All while at risk of getting lost and/or killed.
I got off the plane, basically walked out of auto-pilot-ness, to the rental car desks, got the keys after a few minutes, and she asked me if I knew where the rental car lot was. I said no. She directed me to it. Before that, she had offered me a GPS, at $14.95 a day, which I seriously considered, but in wanting to save money, and thinking I could find my way with my maps I so painstakenly printed out the night before, I declined.

So when I walked outside, toward the lot of cars, I expected to see another building, where I would go and they would tell me something else of what to do.
No building. Just the lot of nice rental cars, sitting there in the dark cold night.
Suddenly I was a very lost and alone Melissa. I had no idea what I was doing. And I think it was at this point that I started to cry.
I walked towards the cars, figuring that it was at this point that I just needed to find my car and drive it away. After all, I did have the keys in my hand. But how to find the car I was supposed to drive??
After a minute I figured out that the spaces were numbered, and on my contract was written the number Spot 15.  So after another minute and undoubtedly guided by someone above, I found the car.
I got in, and suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed and lost and alone. And like I was not going to be able to find all these places on my own, with just my mapquest directions. I fell apart. I was crying pretty good for a minute, then I tryed to calm down, said a prayer for help, and pulled out. I thought I should at least try to head toward the hotel with my printed directions.

However, before I even got away from the airport area, I already felt lost, so I thought, "Forget it, I'm going back for a GPS." So I headed back, and after driving around 2 more times, I re-parked in the rental lot, and went in, up to the same girl at the Budget desk, and told her I decided I did want a GPS.

She was so nice and got me one, and even gave me a nice little orientation on it, after I told her I've not really used one a whole lot.

So out of the airport I again went, this time armed with my new little GPS friend, and much more courage and confidence.

As soon as I merely turned it on, put in the address of the hotel, and it told me which way to go to even get out of the airport, I was never more grateful for a GPS in my life. I had hope, and was actually excited to drive now, in this nice little car.

First thing I did after that was find a couple good stations on the radio. At first I thought maybe I shouldn't listen to the radio, this was an unfamiliar place already. But then I bagged that idea and felt it would calm my nerves and put me more at ease than I had been all day. It did. I love music.

So with the help of my little GPS friend, I got to the hotel just fine, in probably about 20 minutes, checked in, and headed up to my room. The elevator was paneled with mirrors, and it was scary what I saw in them. I looked like a wreck. Which wasn't real surprising, since I'd been on and off planes, sleeping sitting up throughout the day.

I was so glad to get in and have a place to rest and sleep, and to call my own for a night. I loved my little room.

Camille called pretty soon after I got into my room, and it was such a needed phone call, and totally made my day. She was so sweet to ask about my flight and travels, listen to my whole traumatic experience, hear me talk about my worries and frustrations (cried some at this point) about not knowing what I want to do still (for a career), and then encourage me about the interview and wanting to be a PA. As I talked to her I was getting ready to  run to Wal-mart, which I mentioned at the end of our phone call, after which she made me promise not to go til the morning. It was 11 pm by now, and she reminded me that I wasn't in Provo anymore. After realizing she had a good point, I promised her I wouldn't.

At the end of the call, a couple of times, she said to me, very sincerely, "I love you." We say "love you" all the time at the end of phone calls, but never with the "I." For some reason that makes it so much more meaningful. And she said it twice. It really touched me.

After hanging up, I broke down and just cried. I was so, SO grateful for that phone call. It meant so much to me that Camille would call me at that point, knowing I was getting in to PA around that time. And the things she said and everything. I felt so much love and gratitude. I've kind of struggled with how I've felt that she and I haven't been as close in the last while as we used to be, and it bothers me. So last night meant a lot.

I got ready for bed and then called Mom. Talked to her for a while, and then checked my email, sent one, caught up on facebook, then researched Kings College some more, to be ready for my interview. By the time I got to bed, it was almost 2 am there (midnight at home). I went to sleep with the heater rumbling, but felt very comfy and safe and happy snuggled up in a nice, clean bed.