Thursday, July 25, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
Paul no Mormon, kind of heart-breaking
So a quick update on Paul.
I'm still working for him, going on like 4 months or something..anyway. The whole flirtiness has totally simmered down. Now we're just like good friends and we just have a great time chatting and laughing about stuff, as well as teasing each other. We have a great relationship. Nothing even bordering on inappropriate anymore, so it's nice.
Also, so I've given him a BOM, with a nice note written in the front, and a bunch of verses marked up, invited him to church and encouraged him to come a bunch (still hasn't), and just recently I gave him a Plan of Salvation booklet. I thought he might be interested to read more about that, and specifically about the resurrection and such, being paralyzed, and being interested when I say I know he'll be able to walk one day (interested in how I know that and have so much faith, is what he asked me a little while ago). So that was a few days ago that I gave him that. I knew he hadn't read any of the BOM, but I thought he would be more likely to read the booklet, it being much smaller, especially.
Well folks, no such luck. Tonight, as I was showering him, I asked him if he'd read any of it, and he said no, and I was kind of surprised, and he said that he probably wouldn't either. Then he was like, "I'm not going to become Mormon, Melissa." Kind of like, "duh, hello, get a clue." He didn't say it mean or anything, but it was just so final and kind of took me off guard. I have been feeling more encouraged the last little while that perhaps he is being softened, even if slowly, from being around me and me talking about the Gospel every now and then and different things he'll ask me about. But I guess not. Although sometimes he seems more open than others.
So I tried to play it off and after saying that wasn't the point, and that I just thought he would be interested in what was in the booklet, specifically, I changed the subject and tried to just act like it was no big deal.
But inside it kind of was a big deal. It was kind of a blow, to be honest. And I know it's not me, it's not a personal blow, but it definitely makes me sad. I would love so badly for him to enjoy the blessings of the Gospel, it just kills me that it's simply his agency that is standing in the way. I could pretty much hand the Church to him, or at least hook him up pretty quick, with missionaries and such, but he (at least tonight) apparently has absolutely no interest, and maybe never has at all. Fooled me.
But oh well I guess, all we can do is invite, right? Then it's up to them.
It's still sad. The Gospel means so much to me, it's so hard to see someone refuse it.
But hopefully as I continue working for him and trying to be a good example and influence in his life, maybe one day he will soften up. I would give a lot to see him dressed in white getting baptized one day.
There's so much more I need to write about, like there being only 10 more days of nursing school! Jamie's and my great relationship (I'm so blessed with great friends, I just can't believe it), our 4th of July trip up to ID to her house and how much fun THAT was, my FIRST EVER drive-in movie this weekend! Etc.
But it's past 1 am and I need to go to bed so I can get up and do spanish and other homework all day.
Goodnight!
I'm still working for him, going on like 4 months or something..anyway. The whole flirtiness has totally simmered down. Now we're just like good friends and we just have a great time chatting and laughing about stuff, as well as teasing each other. We have a great relationship. Nothing even bordering on inappropriate anymore, so it's nice.
Also, so I've given him a BOM, with a nice note written in the front, and a bunch of verses marked up, invited him to church and encouraged him to come a bunch (still hasn't), and just recently I gave him a Plan of Salvation booklet. I thought he might be interested to read more about that, and specifically about the resurrection and such, being paralyzed, and being interested when I say I know he'll be able to walk one day (interested in how I know that and have so much faith, is what he asked me a little while ago). So that was a few days ago that I gave him that. I knew he hadn't read any of the BOM, but I thought he would be more likely to read the booklet, it being much smaller, especially.
Well folks, no such luck. Tonight, as I was showering him, I asked him if he'd read any of it, and he said no, and I was kind of surprised, and he said that he probably wouldn't either. Then he was like, "I'm not going to become Mormon, Melissa." Kind of like, "duh, hello, get a clue." He didn't say it mean or anything, but it was just so final and kind of took me off guard. I have been feeling more encouraged the last little while that perhaps he is being softened, even if slowly, from being around me and me talking about the Gospel every now and then and different things he'll ask me about. But I guess not. Although sometimes he seems more open than others.
So I tried to play it off and after saying that wasn't the point, and that I just thought he would be interested in what was in the booklet, specifically, I changed the subject and tried to just act like it was no big deal.
But inside it kind of was a big deal. It was kind of a blow, to be honest. And I know it's not me, it's not a personal blow, but it definitely makes me sad. I would love so badly for him to enjoy the blessings of the Gospel, it just kills me that it's simply his agency that is standing in the way. I could pretty much hand the Church to him, or at least hook him up pretty quick, with missionaries and such, but he (at least tonight) apparently has absolutely no interest, and maybe never has at all. Fooled me.
But oh well I guess, all we can do is invite, right? Then it's up to them.
It's still sad. The Gospel means so much to me, it's so hard to see someone refuse it.
But hopefully as I continue working for him and trying to be a good example and influence in his life, maybe one day he will soften up. I would give a lot to see him dressed in white getting baptized one day.
There's so much more I need to write about, like there being only 10 more days of nursing school! Jamie's and my great relationship (I'm so blessed with great friends, I just can't believe it), our 4th of July trip up to ID to her house and how much fun THAT was, my FIRST EVER drive-in movie this weekend! Etc.
But it's past 1 am and I need to go to bed so I can get up and do spanish and other homework all day.
Goodnight!
Monday, July 1, 2013
Journal entry via bullet points
Things that I really want to write about that I don't have time to right now, and may never get around to, but want to remember, include:
-RAGNAR! Last weekend, and SOOOOO fun!!! We had the best van of the funnest 6 people.
-If I had to be stuck on an island with a guy, right now I would choose Rob (he was one of my HT's, just moved out of the ward with Dave, and ran Ragnar with us. I just love him, he is hilarious.)
-Jamie is the greatest and is my best friend. We are such good friends and I absolutely love her and she loves me, it's so great. I'm so blessed.
-4 1/2 more weeks of school!! Crazy!! This is really exciting, I'm really in need of a break, but bittersweet at the same time. I will miss learning and feeling so productive, I like being busy, and I will miss seeing my nursing friends.
-My preceptor, Kim, is not so bad anymore. Especially when she hasn't already worked the day before.
-I haven't killed anyone yet in my capstone.
-Sally and Joe and the kids (Caleb, Ella, and baby Keilan) are coming tomorrow!
-RAGNAR! Last weekend, and SOOOOO fun!!! We had the best van of the funnest 6 people.
-If I had to be stuck on an island with a guy, right now I would choose Rob (he was one of my HT's, just moved out of the ward with Dave, and ran Ragnar with us. I just love him, he is hilarious.)
-Jamie is the greatest and is my best friend. We are such good friends and I absolutely love her and she loves me, it's so great. I'm so blessed.
-4 1/2 more weeks of school!! Crazy!! This is really exciting, I'm really in need of a break, but bittersweet at the same time. I will miss learning and feeling so productive, I like being busy, and I will miss seeing my nursing friends.
-My preceptor, Kim, is not so bad anymore. Especially when she hasn't already worked the day before.
-I haven't killed anyone yet in my capstone.
-Sally and Joe and the kids (Caleb, Ella, and baby Keilan) are coming tomorrow!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Kyle's homecoming and needing to be more grateful for school
We just got back from Huntsville, where we went to Kyle's homecoming. I didn't really want to go, and almost didn't. But as usual, I'm glad I did. It was good to chat with the relatives, and especially fun to talk to Kyle, he's even more awesome than he was when he left. And I got lots of compliments on my hair, that it's long and pretty, etc., and that meant a lot. For some reason I always feel like being around the Froerers is kind of..not a beauty contest, not that. But..I don't know, I just felt more respected or something. I don't know. But the best was when Abby, after sacrament meeting, and I was chatting with Bailey, and then Abby turned around to join us, and she was like, "Your hair is soo pretty!" And she was very sincere about it. And I suddenly felt like I had arrived.
Haha, but really. Abby is younger than me, so it's not like we are BFs or anything, but she is a really cute, beautiful girl, always has her hair really done, really gorgeous beautiful hair, and make up too. So to hear that from her meant a lot! :) Kind of made my day.
But, so it's always kind of something I feel like I have to mentally brave myself for, being around the Froerers, and it's hard to explain why. It's almost like I feel like we talk to each other out of obligation. It's not often I feel like people talk to me because they genuinely like to, but more out of familiar obligation, or because we're both standing next to each other so it would be awkward not to. A few of them I feel like genuinely like me and want to talk to me, including Grandma Froerer, Holly..maybe that's it. I think others like me okay, but again, I feel like there's this certain level of formality that I kind of just take a deep breath and brave it, and talk to these people, faking that it actually is kind of scary to me. In talking to Emily in line for food, I actually got her joking around with me, and it was probably one of the most enjoyable conversations I've ever had with her. She's usually pretty serious, seemingly not the happiest person. She has really exhausting children, so that's probably part of it, but today was a good day with her. It was encouraging to see that I could have a conversation like that with her.
Lots of the aunts and uncles and cousins asked me about my life and school and such, and I feel like I responded in a way I now regret. This semester is kicking my trash, and I am basically a slave to school right now, but I have so many reasons to be grateful for school! Like the fact that I even get an opportunity to get an education!! And I tell people, when asked about school, that it's a crazy semester, and I only have 7 weeks left and such, and thank goodness! And those things are true, but really, I need to remember how blessed I really am to be able to go to school, and to be in nursing school and getting the training, through a great program, nonetheless, to be what I have always wanted to be. I feel very ungrateful and like I need to repent to Heavenly Father, for responding to people in a way that to me feels like I was complaining and such. And I don't like to be a negative person, I like to always be positive. And I don't feel like I came off completely as such today, and I regret that. One of those days you wish you could go back and re-do it.
But all I can do really is learn from it, and try to always be positive about it now. I only have seven weeks left of the semester, and of nursing school altogether, and part of me is really glad! I am exhausted, this semester really is crazy, I have been having to skip out on fun things going on, with friends and family both, due to my crazy school schedule, and my capstone shifts, and my pretty consistently large load of homework. But at the same time, I know that when it's over, or after a little while of enjoying the relief at least, I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss seeing my nursing school friends, especially. Some are moving, Maggie to VA, Elisa probably to Pennsylvania, Maryn is getting married at the end of August and will likely move to Provo, where her then husband will still be in school. Gabby lives in Lehi anyway, Cydney lives in Kaysville..Jessica DaCosta is in Sugarhouse, so hopefully I'll still see her, but life will be way different, that's for sure. I'm going to miss those girls, and even just seeing everyone in our class each week. They're all great people, and we've gone through a tough program together.
I will also miss learning. I love learning, especially about these things that so interest me, like the body, and pathophysiology, and how drugs work, and nursing stuff. And of course I can and hopefully will continue to learn throughout my career, but it's not the same. Ironically, what I can't wait to be free of--assignments and such--in that way I will certainly miss. The intense learning. I love learning.
But it will be nice to have a break and be done paying tuition, and hopefully start making money pretty quick, to start digging myself out of this hole! Yikes..
Haha, but really. Abby is younger than me, so it's not like we are BFs or anything, but she is a really cute, beautiful girl, always has her hair really done, really gorgeous beautiful hair, and make up too. So to hear that from her meant a lot! :) Kind of made my day.
But, so it's always kind of something I feel like I have to mentally brave myself for, being around the Froerers, and it's hard to explain why. It's almost like I feel like we talk to each other out of obligation. It's not often I feel like people talk to me because they genuinely like to, but more out of familiar obligation, or because we're both standing next to each other so it would be awkward not to. A few of them I feel like genuinely like me and want to talk to me, including Grandma Froerer, Holly..maybe that's it. I think others like me okay, but again, I feel like there's this certain level of formality that I kind of just take a deep breath and brave it, and talk to these people, faking that it actually is kind of scary to me. In talking to Emily in line for food, I actually got her joking around with me, and it was probably one of the most enjoyable conversations I've ever had with her. She's usually pretty serious, seemingly not the happiest person. She has really exhausting children, so that's probably part of it, but today was a good day with her. It was encouraging to see that I could have a conversation like that with her.
Lots of the aunts and uncles and cousins asked me about my life and school and such, and I feel like I responded in a way I now regret. This semester is kicking my trash, and I am basically a slave to school right now, but I have so many reasons to be grateful for school! Like the fact that I even get an opportunity to get an education!! And I tell people, when asked about school, that it's a crazy semester, and I only have 7 weeks left and such, and thank goodness! And those things are true, but really, I need to remember how blessed I really am to be able to go to school, and to be in nursing school and getting the training, through a great program, nonetheless, to be what I have always wanted to be. I feel very ungrateful and like I need to repent to Heavenly Father, for responding to people in a way that to me feels like I was complaining and such. And I don't like to be a negative person, I like to always be positive. And I don't feel like I came off completely as such today, and I regret that. One of those days you wish you could go back and re-do it.
But all I can do really is learn from it, and try to always be positive about it now. I only have seven weeks left of the semester, and of nursing school altogether, and part of me is really glad! I am exhausted, this semester really is crazy, I have been having to skip out on fun things going on, with friends and family both, due to my crazy school schedule, and my capstone shifts, and my pretty consistently large load of homework. But at the same time, I know that when it's over, or after a little while of enjoying the relief at least, I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss seeing my nursing school friends, especially. Some are moving, Maggie to VA, Elisa probably to Pennsylvania, Maryn is getting married at the end of August and will likely move to Provo, where her then husband will still be in school. Gabby lives in Lehi anyway, Cydney lives in Kaysville..Jessica DaCosta is in Sugarhouse, so hopefully I'll still see her, but life will be way different, that's for sure. I'm going to miss those girls, and even just seeing everyone in our class each week. They're all great people, and we've gone through a tough program together.
I will also miss learning. I love learning, especially about these things that so interest me, like the body, and pathophysiology, and how drugs work, and nursing stuff. And of course I can and hopefully will continue to learn throughout my career, but it's not the same. Ironically, what I can't wait to be free of--assignments and such--in that way I will certainly miss. The intense learning. I love learning.
But it will be nice to have a break and be done paying tuition, and hopefully start making money pretty quick, to start digging myself out of this hole! Yikes..
Monday, June 10, 2013
Amazing email from Jamie
And then Jamie went and wrote me this nice email, in return from the one I had written her a few weeks earlier, after she had been told by the guy she really really wants to be with, that they can't go out anymore, that's he's just not ready or whatever (he was engaged in recent months, and apparently is still kind of getting over that or messed up from it or whatever). I could tell she was more bummed than she led on, so I wrote her an email of why she is amazing and the guys that let her go are dumb.
I'll just attach it here. That way she can really be known on here. :)
Yo dearest,
And here is hers to me:
Sister Gurr -
I loved what bishop said on Sunday when he talked about friendship and how we draw strength from each another. Because that's exactly how I feel with you, and I hope you know that. I also hope you know that...
Then I asked her to clarify the thing about knowing she would be working with me even before she knew she would be called as president. To that she replied:
I know you are busy and working all day. I hope things are going well my friend and that you have energy.
Just to follow-up on your e-mail real quick -
You asked me to expound on what I meant when I told you that I knew I was going to work with you even before I got my calling.
Maybe I should have said that I knew that I WANTED to work with you before I even got the calling.
When we found out that we were going to be released as a presidency because Jenni was leaving, her and Laura kept teasing me or would make little comments here and there about how I was going to be the next president. It made me nervous and I threatened Jenni that she better not put any ideas in bishop's head. So of course I would try to ignore them and even get after them for saying such things because I felt like they were going to curse me :) But I couldn't shake the feeling that it was at least a possibility and I hated that I even thought that.
But I remember one Sunday sitting in sacrament and looking around because I thought, 'Ok, if this really did happen, who would I even choose for my counselors?' Again, hating that I was even thinking that because it's like I was asking for it or something! I guess it was more like, 'Ok, who else would I pick besides Melissa?'
You just made such a great impression on me from the time we met and I knew that I wanted you and that you would be wonderful to work with or in whatever position you were called to serve in (I even was hoping that you would be called as president because you are so qualified and would be such a great candidate). I bet it's that dang nursing school....
So there ya go. A little more insight into just another reason why I think you are so wonderful.
TTYL
She is so great. I feel so so so so blessed to have her as a a friend. So blessed.
I'll just attach it here. That way she can really be known on here. :)
Yo dearest,
So when we were discussing the dumb situation of Todd, I just really couldn't believe that he let you go like that. And it makes me hurt for you. And I know that you say it's fine, and you are strong, it's true, but I also know that it more than likely hurt pretty bad, and still hurts, a lot, especially in those quiet moments we all have, that he told you what he did last night. I am so sorry. It kills me to see these great guys pass you up like you're not gold in their hands.
So I wanted to write you and tell you many of the reasons I think you are amazing and they are dumb:
1. We've been over this, but you are GORGEOUS. Seriously. You have amazing and probably perfect skin, beautiful huge round eyes, amazing teeth, and a great smile. Good face shape too. Have I ever told you that?
2. You are one of the most thoughtful, considerate people I've ever known. You are always making sure your friends, and people around you are taken care of and have their needs met, especially when they are at your house. And you have a gift of remembering details about people and remember to ask about those things later. It means a lot to the recipients.
3. You're an amazing cook. Obviously.
4. You're very funny. Witty even. And it often comes out when least expected, which is always hilarious.
5. You're very mature. This is a nice trait to be around.
6. You're also very down to earth and are made happy by the simple and important things in life. Also not high-maintenance. This is not only appealing but refreshing in a person.
7. You are very kind and I know you would do anything for anyone.
8. You are very selfless. Even willing to share your nice napkins to be used as a snotty tissue.
9. You are very non-judgemental (Emma is talking jibberish.)
10. You give stellar back rubs. I mean, wow.
11. You are fun and adventurous and not a sissy!
12. You're not a complainer
13. You don't gossip
14. You are frugal. I think that's admirable in a person. Goes along with not high-maintenance.
15. You are athletic. This is hot (to the boys, obviously..).
16. You play the guitar. Also hot.
17. You are my running inspiration.
18. You are humble. Which always amazes me because, and I know I've told you this before, but since the day I met you in new member meeting a year ago (wow), I've always just thought the world of you and been absolutely amazed at how humble and down to earth you are when you are so physically beautiful. Seriously. I think you must just not know it.
19. You have a solid testimony and you live it. You are a great example and influence a lot of people around you.
Anyway, I could go on, but I need to go to bed.:) But I just really want you to know that it is frustrating for me to see these seemingly amazing guys, who seem so compatible with you, just totally take for granted what is in front of them in you, and let you go. Because I, for one, know how amazing you are, and I also know how bad you want to be married and be a mother. It doesn't seem fair.
But on a happier note, I am certainly grateful for your friendship, more than I could really describe. I feel so incredibly blessed to know you and be considered your friend, I love hanging out with you. Like at Moab. That was seriously a blast.
Anyway, have a great Thursday at work!
One of your biggest fans,
Melissa
And here is hers to me:
Sister Gurr -
I think it's time you got YOUR e-mail. It's been on my mind a lot lately, and I've been planning on doing it anyway. Tonight is as good as night as any. Because I think it's time you heard just how wonderful YOU are. If you didn't already know. Because you are. And you need to know just how much it means to me to have a friend like you.
You are HIGHLIGHT in my life.
I loved what bishop said on Sunday when he talked about friendship and how we draw strength from each another. Because that's exactly how I feel with you, and I hope you know that. I also hope you know that...
1. You are the best people-person I have ever met. You are so great at conversation. One of the reasons I love being with you is that you have this amazing skill and talent to meet new people and make others feel comfortable. Because of that, it makes me feel comfortable too and I know that as long as you are there I never have to worry about things being awkward. So really, you didn't know that I have been using you for this very special talent....sorry.
2. You have beautiful, naturally curly hair that every girl would be jealous of. That also looks gorgeous when straightened.
3. You are very photogenic! (I mean, when you want to be :) and have such a nice smile.
4. You are fit. You can wear anything you want and you never have a belly that sticks out like mine :)
5. YOU ARE HILARIOUS. And incredibly witty and are constantly making me and others laugh with your sharp sense of humor.
6. You are a hard worker. I admire you a lot for all that you are doing to accomplish your nursing school. Going to nursing school in the first place? Enough said. (refer to #1 as far as one of the reasons why you are and will make an outstanding nurse)
7. You have great self-control! You are diligent in your homework and assignments even when I'm sure it's hard and you might have to say no to things sometimes.
8. You are solid to the core when it comes to the gospel and you make me want to be a better person.
9. You ARE a leader. And one that people want to follow. You are a good example.
10. You are always willing to help others
11. You are thoughtful and will send me a text or bring me cookies or a candy bar when I'm having a hard time.
12. You are genuine and never try to be someone you're not.
13. You have an unusual obsession with men's shoes....
14. You are a product of your parents who are absolutely the kindest people ever.
15. You have sweet guitar skills and one of my new favorite things is playing and singing with you. Before that even began however, I've always admired your pretty alto voice and have noticed that you can harmonize easily with any song, and do a lot when you're singing in the car.
16. You are the best 2nd counselor EVER.
17. You aren't afraid to try new things.
18. You are very well-rounded and have so much to offer. Some guy is going to be pretty lucky to end up with you because you will also be an incredible wife and mother.
19. You are always interested in others and care about what is going on in people's lives. You get excited and happy - all reasons why it's so fun to share things with you.
20. I never get tired of hanging out with you. I always look forward to seeing you.
I knew there was something special about you right when I met you. And calling you to be my counselor was the easiest and best decision I've made. Heck, I knew I was going to work with you before I even knew I was going to be called to be president.
So please just know, that I am the one that feels very grateful to be your friend. You have been a great blessing in my life. And we wouldn't have been able to meet and become friends if we weren't still single and going to the good ole YSA ward :) So I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father is looking out for both of us.
Hope you have a good night, try not to stay up too late (please get more than 5 hours of sleep) and good luck with your day tomorrow!
Then I asked her to clarify the thing about knowing she would be working with me even before she knew she would be called as president. To that she replied:
I know you are busy and working all day. I hope things are going well my friend and that you have energy.
She is so great. I feel so so so so blessed to have her as a a friend. So blessed.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
FUN weekend with Jamie (and Wendy)
I just had the best weekend! I just wanted to write real quick about it.
I was so fun because I basically spent the whole weekend with Jamie, and we are better friends than ever, it's so great.
Friday night we went to Les Mis up at the U together, and got in free on my student ID. Way fun.
After the play, she dropped me off at my house and we stayed in her car (her sweet rental Ford F-150) and talked til like 1:30 am. It was so good because it had been quite a while since we had really talked like that. Then I finally went inside, and about ten min later Jamie called me to say Wendy had dead-bolted their door and wasn't answering her phone, so could she come sleep on our couch..? So we had a sleepover! Which are always fun. She came back over and we got ready for bed in my bathroom downstairs and then went and slept in my temporary room upstairs (this was after the flooding of the basement, but before I had put my room back together). We got in bed around 2 am, and we were planning on going running, the three of us (Jamie, Wendy, and me) in the morning at 7 am. Jokingly, as we were layed down in the dard, I said, "So, what do you want to talk about?" Jamie laughed, but then said, "Tell me something I don't know about you." I laughed because I had been kind of joking, but I guess we were going to chat! :) I wasn't complaining. So then we talked for another hour or so (I told her about my bedwetting issues growing up, haha, and we both talked about any and all of our medical issues, including my large bladder, etc.), before going to sleep around 3:15 am. Ha! It was hard to get up less than 4 hours later and go run...but we did and we all ran 5.5 miles! Farthest I've ever run!
Later that day we all went up to the bi-stake activity up at the Skyline fields and caught lunch at the end. We all had too much to do to go to the rest of the activity, but I wish I could have, it sounded fun. An olympics of sorts.
Then that night we orchestrated a bonfire up the canyon and invited a bunch of people, from the ward and elsewhere. It was a lot of fun!! Then a lot of us went to Jamie and Wendy's apt and played games for a while--this airplane game, that I wasn't too amused by, ha. And then Signs, which is always a blast.
Sunday, we had church, then four visits (oh, but one girl wasn't home, so really three), and then I invited Jamie over for Sunday dinner, which she came to (Wendy was in ID for the day). Our neighbor, Ben Somner, came too, it was fun to get to know him. My dad has been working with him for a while, helping him to get reactivated in the church. He is a really great, and brilliant guy, with a really good heart. He's thirty-something, has a girlfriend, and just loves her so much. It was cool to hear him talk about her. And he just loves Dad. Absolutely loves him. He was telling Dad that he considers him one of his best friends. Adorable.
Then Jamie and I came down to my room and planned our summer, made up our summer list with all the fun things we want to do (that I don't really have time for..? whatev, I'll squeeze 'em in), then jammed on the guitar for a bit (using mine and Mom's guitar), including playing for Mom and Dad outside, ha. Our second audience (Wendy was our first the other night). Then she reluctantly left, to go be at home for when Jared, Alex Stayner's friend who we met at Moab, who is really into Jamie. She's not so into him, but he wanted to bring her tomatoes from his garden b/c he had extra. Turns out he meant tomatoe plants, for her to plant. Ha.
Oh, and then Monday morning we all went running again (we're training for Ragnar) at like 5:20 am before they both had to go to work. That day we only ran about 3 miles or so. Maybe a little farther.
So yeah, such a fun weekend! I just love Jamie, she is so fun and so amazing. And for some reason she thinks very highly of me. I love being around her. This weekend was so fun to be with her every day!
I was so fun because I basically spent the whole weekend with Jamie, and we are better friends than ever, it's so great.
Friday night we went to Les Mis up at the U together, and got in free on my student ID. Way fun.
After the play, she dropped me off at my house and we stayed in her car (her sweet rental Ford F-150) and talked til like 1:30 am. It was so good because it had been quite a while since we had really talked like that. Then I finally went inside, and about ten min later Jamie called me to say Wendy had dead-bolted their door and wasn't answering her phone, so could she come sleep on our couch..? So we had a sleepover! Which are always fun. She came back over and we got ready for bed in my bathroom downstairs and then went and slept in my temporary room upstairs (this was after the flooding of the basement, but before I had put my room back together). We got in bed around 2 am, and we were planning on going running, the three of us (Jamie, Wendy, and me) in the morning at 7 am. Jokingly, as we were layed down in the dard, I said, "So, what do you want to talk about?" Jamie laughed, but then said, "Tell me something I don't know about you." I laughed because I had been kind of joking, but I guess we were going to chat! :) I wasn't complaining. So then we talked for another hour or so (I told her about my bedwetting issues growing up, haha, and we both talked about any and all of our medical issues, including my large bladder, etc.), before going to sleep around 3:15 am. Ha! It was hard to get up less than 4 hours later and go run...but we did and we all ran 5.5 miles! Farthest I've ever run!
Later that day we all went up to the bi-stake activity up at the Skyline fields and caught lunch at the end. We all had too much to do to go to the rest of the activity, but I wish I could have, it sounded fun. An olympics of sorts.
Then that night we orchestrated a bonfire up the canyon and invited a bunch of people, from the ward and elsewhere. It was a lot of fun!! Then a lot of us went to Jamie and Wendy's apt and played games for a while--this airplane game, that I wasn't too amused by, ha. And then Signs, which is always a blast.
Sunday, we had church, then four visits (oh, but one girl wasn't home, so really three), and then I invited Jamie over for Sunday dinner, which she came to (Wendy was in ID for the day). Our neighbor, Ben Somner, came too, it was fun to get to know him. My dad has been working with him for a while, helping him to get reactivated in the church. He is a really great, and brilliant guy, with a really good heart. He's thirty-something, has a girlfriend, and just loves her so much. It was cool to hear him talk about her. And he just loves Dad. Absolutely loves him. He was telling Dad that he considers him one of his best friends. Adorable.
Then Jamie and I came down to my room and planned our summer, made up our summer list with all the fun things we want to do (that I don't really have time for..? whatev, I'll squeeze 'em in), then jammed on the guitar for a bit (using mine and Mom's guitar), including playing for Mom and Dad outside, ha. Our second audience (Wendy was our first the other night). Then she reluctantly left, to go be at home for when Jared, Alex Stayner's friend who we met at Moab, who is really into Jamie. She's not so into him, but he wanted to bring her tomatoes from his garden b/c he had extra. Turns out he meant tomatoe plants, for her to plant. Ha.
Oh, and then Monday morning we all went running again (we're training for Ragnar) at like 5:20 am before they both had to go to work. That day we only ran about 3 miles or so. Maybe a little farther.
So yeah, such a fun weekend! I just love Jamie, she is so fun and so amazing. And for some reason she thinks very highly of me. I love being around her. This weekend was so fun to be with her every day!
Friday, May 31, 2013
Paul
I'm not sure if I've written on here about my job yet, but I work for a guy who is quadriplegic, named Paul Roberts. He is 45, divorced in the last few years after being married 17, and has been paralyzed for about 26 years. He is really friendly and fun to work for.
Confession. I think he is secretly in love with me. Except it slowly is becoming not such a secret. Last night he told me that I am hot. "Super duper hot." Yes, he said that. But he wasn't saying it in like a coming on to me way, he was asking me about guys I've dated and what didn't work out and why, and then he was saying those guys are dumb (who ended things with me), and then proceeded to tell me because I'm hot! It was more of a sincere (in a not-sincere tone) matter of fact way. And pretty much everything we talk about it in joking around and teasing each other, so again, it wasn't like this serious proclamation to me or anything, but when he gives compliments like that, or just usually in general, he is serious, even though it sounds sarcastic or joking. I didn't know how to react or how to take him seriously. I was really flattered though, because, like I said, I think he was serious, which he did tell me when I reacted like he was just joking around. We get along really well, we really click. It's almost worrisome, sometimes. Not really, and nothing has or probably ever will happen that's way inappropriate or anything, but he tip toes that line occassionally, and he's only going to get more and more comfortable with me. And I with him, for that matter. Also last night, as I went to pick him up to transfer from the shower chair back to his bed, he made me laugh, and then I was laughing and tried to pick him up, but felt like I was not going to make it, so I set him back down on his chair and he wasn't letting go, and I told him to let go, as I was laughing, just so I could stand back up and rest for a second. But in total light-heartedness, he refused to let go and started saying things like, I'm naked and we are having a naked dance... I can't remember what all he said, but I was cracking up, because it was so ridiculous and funny, but also to keep the mood light so as to not make it awkward, because I don't doubt there is some true feelings behind all his joking.. But I try not to really think about that. I was quoting Emperor's New Groove as I was helping him in the shower, and he had never seen it (and of course accused me of making it up..:), so I asked him if he had a VCR, and that if he could find it I would bring our VHS copy for him to watch. Then he got on this rant of wanting me to come watch it with him.. Oh man. So I tried to play that off too, and it wasn't anything super uncomfortable or awkward, but it's slightly uncomfortable crossing that line of boss vs. friend. Plus he has a girlfriend! Which I definitely brought up (all in a light-hearted manner), asking what she would think, and he said she'd be really mad, and I said that I would be really mad too, "which is why we will not do it," I said. In my mind I thought, there's a lot of other reasons too..
I just pray that nothing inappropriate happens ever, with him, or more so that he never does anything more than last night, because I like working for him, and he's fun, not to mention totally boosts my self esteem, and it's a really good job right now. Good pay. I also am trying to convert him.:)
Anyways, it was fun last night, we both have similar sense of humors, so it's a lot of fun to chat and joke around about stuff. I think he's really funny, and he thinks I'm funny, which I think is one reason I really like being around him. I'm just totally my silly, dumb, crazy self around him, (I think because I know him well enough now, and I don't have anyone to impress when I'm with him, and I know he likes me) which he seems to love, ha. He'd been gone for a few weeks, and he told me multiple times last night that he missed me. It was sweet.
Anyway, I haven't told a soul about my "relationship" or the type of relationship I have with Paul (that sounds bad), and I don't actually plan on telling anyone. I feel like it's nothing inappropriate, and I feel like I'll be able to control the situation, and if he really does cross any lines, I can say something and not be afraid to tell him to behave or what not. I hope it doesn't come to that though. The thing is, that I really like being with him too. But in all reality, nothing could ever work between us, as far as any relationship that he might be thinking of with me. For multiple reasons: not a member, he's dating someone, he's 45, he's my boss, that would just be weird. But after really thinking about things, and analyzing why I'm so-called "attracted" to him as well, it wouldn't be a substantial relationship. Or at least that's not why I like him now (and when I say "like him" I mean plutonically, not romantically. Just wanted to clarify for future generations who read this.). For example, he doesn't really know or ask a whole lot about what's going on in my life. Which is really important to me in a relationship. So any attraction I may feel is based mostly on humor, physical attraction, more those things. So that's another reason we could never actually have a relationship..which is weird to even think about, really.
I just wanted to get all this out. Like I said, I'm not planning on telling a soul about all this, at least not while I currently work for him, it would only worry whoever I told, I think. And it's totally under control and will not become anything inappropriate, because I won't let it, and Heavenly Father knows my concerns about it, and I've asked for His help with the situation. So I'm not super worried about it. Not super duper worried.. haha, oh geez.
Confession. I think he is secretly in love with me. Except it slowly is becoming not such a secret. Last night he told me that I am hot. "Super duper hot." Yes, he said that. But he wasn't saying it in like a coming on to me way, he was asking me about guys I've dated and what didn't work out and why, and then he was saying those guys are dumb (who ended things with me), and then proceeded to tell me because I'm hot! It was more of a sincere (in a not-sincere tone) matter of fact way. And pretty much everything we talk about it in joking around and teasing each other, so again, it wasn't like this serious proclamation to me or anything, but when he gives compliments like that, or just usually in general, he is serious, even though it sounds sarcastic or joking. I didn't know how to react or how to take him seriously. I was really flattered though, because, like I said, I think he was serious, which he did tell me when I reacted like he was just joking around. We get along really well, we really click. It's almost worrisome, sometimes. Not really, and nothing has or probably ever will happen that's way inappropriate or anything, but he tip toes that line occassionally, and he's only going to get more and more comfortable with me. And I with him, for that matter. Also last night, as I went to pick him up to transfer from the shower chair back to his bed, he made me laugh, and then I was laughing and tried to pick him up, but felt like I was not going to make it, so I set him back down on his chair and he wasn't letting go, and I told him to let go, as I was laughing, just so I could stand back up and rest for a second. But in total light-heartedness, he refused to let go and started saying things like, I'm naked and we are having a naked dance... I can't remember what all he said, but I was cracking up, because it was so ridiculous and funny, but also to keep the mood light so as to not make it awkward, because I don't doubt there is some true feelings behind all his joking.. But I try not to really think about that. I was quoting Emperor's New Groove as I was helping him in the shower, and he had never seen it (and of course accused me of making it up..:), so I asked him if he had a VCR, and that if he could find it I would bring our VHS copy for him to watch. Then he got on this rant of wanting me to come watch it with him.. Oh man. So I tried to play that off too, and it wasn't anything super uncomfortable or awkward, but it's slightly uncomfortable crossing that line of boss vs. friend. Plus he has a girlfriend! Which I definitely brought up (all in a light-hearted manner), asking what she would think, and he said she'd be really mad, and I said that I would be really mad too, "which is why we will not do it," I said. In my mind I thought, there's a lot of other reasons too..
I just pray that nothing inappropriate happens ever, with him, or more so that he never does anything more than last night, because I like working for him, and he's fun, not to mention totally boosts my self esteem, and it's a really good job right now. Good pay. I also am trying to convert him.:)
Anyways, it was fun last night, we both have similar sense of humors, so it's a lot of fun to chat and joke around about stuff. I think he's really funny, and he thinks I'm funny, which I think is one reason I really like being around him. I'm just totally my silly, dumb, crazy self around him, (I think because I know him well enough now, and I don't have anyone to impress when I'm with him, and I know he likes me) which he seems to love, ha. He'd been gone for a few weeks, and he told me multiple times last night that he missed me. It was sweet.
Anyway, I haven't told a soul about my "relationship" or the type of relationship I have with Paul (that sounds bad), and I don't actually plan on telling anyone. I feel like it's nothing inappropriate, and I feel like I'll be able to control the situation, and if he really does cross any lines, I can say something and not be afraid to tell him to behave or what not. I hope it doesn't come to that though. The thing is, that I really like being with him too. But in all reality, nothing could ever work between us, as far as any relationship that he might be thinking of with me. For multiple reasons: not a member, he's dating someone, he's 45, he's my boss, that would just be weird. But after really thinking about things, and analyzing why I'm so-called "attracted" to him as well, it wouldn't be a substantial relationship. Or at least that's not why I like him now (and when I say "like him" I mean plutonically, not romantically. Just wanted to clarify for future generations who read this.). For example, he doesn't really know or ask a whole lot about what's going on in my life. Which is really important to me in a relationship. So any attraction I may feel is based mostly on humor, physical attraction, more those things. So that's another reason we could never actually have a relationship..which is weird to even think about, really.
I just wanted to get all this out. Like I said, I'm not planning on telling a soul about all this, at least not while I currently work for him, it would only worry whoever I told, I think. And it's totally under control and will not become anything inappropriate, because I won't let it, and Heavenly Father knows my concerns about it, and I've asked for His help with the situation. So I'm not super worried about it. Not super duper worried.. haha, oh geez.
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