Sunday, September 23, 2012

Maybe just mortally single.

So I do not think I will be single forever, but I do often wonder if it won't be until the next life that I get married. I love Sherri Dew and all, but I can't say that I've ever wanted to be just like her (not married)...
I do hope it's in this life. I really want to have kids to take care of me when I'm old.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Will I be single forever?

I am feeling pretty bummed about boys.
I'm kind of done trying anything with David for now. So he didn't end up coming to run the Color Run 5k after all. Said he was too overloaded with school. Which I can totally understand. And the run was still a lot of fun, and I ended up running the whole thing except for a minute while I walked with Cheryl. But it was a lot of fun, and it was really encouraging that I was able to run so much of it. Also that my knee didn't bother me like I was worried it might.

And I dunno, David hasn't been super conversational through our facebook thread, so I'm just going to let things be with him for now. Kind of a bummer though, he's so awesome.

Still got Casey on the brain some, but still a bummer that he's not a member.

My home teachers are Dave Alder and Rob (not sure last name). They are way awesome, I totally lucked out with home teachers. Dave was one of my top three interests when I was first in the ward. He's tall, a good size, really nice, athletic, fun. But then my friend, Nichole Gallinger, started liking him, and they've gone out some. So then there there wasn't really any point in having interest in him, in fact I couldn't anymore. And that was fine, they seemed like they would go great together, so no big deal.
But it's been a couple months or so, and they aren't dating, but she still really really likes him. She has recently had a talk with him and told him she liked him, and he basically said he had an old girlfriend he couldn't let go of, or something. So timing (with Nichole) was bad right now. She just told me this today. So I feel like that means that he does like her (Nichole), it's just bad timing, like he said.
So I've been really good about not being interested in him, because she has been, but now that my other interests, or options, are kind of dwindling (David, Nick, etc), I have found myself thinking of him more. They came and home taught me today, and I love when they do! I feel like the three of us have so much fun talking and laughing! And most of the time it's just Dave and I talking, and I feel like we could just talk and laugh for hours. Both times they've come so far, they've had something else to get to, so time is cut short, but it feels like we could keep talking for a while. He's really great though. I think he's 27 or so, went to Utah State, got a masters in accounting, has a good job auditing for Questar (I think), he's totally active in the Gospel and the Church (sometimes hard to come by these days), does his home teaching, he's pretty solid.
And being my home teacher (and actually attractive to me), I am so reminded of Steve by this situation. I have been thinking about him, and the beginnings of our relationship, a lot this weekend.  And I confess, I would love for that same thing to happen with Dave. It's not looking like it will right now, and I can't like him anyway. So it's kind of a lose-lose I feel like.

But I just so want a boy. Today, more than some days, I was just craving so badly having a guy, and feeling liked and wanted and held. I so miss being held and touched. I so miss Steve on days like this for that reason.

And lately I have been feeling so unattractive, at least to boys. Girls will tell me that I am so cute an look so pretty, and really nice things like that. But I sure don't feel like I make guys turn heads. And granted, I know I'm not drop dead gorgeous or anything. But some days I feel like I'm never going to date again or get any guy's attention (at least any guy that I would like to) to date him.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Other updates besides boys. And then some more about boys (Casey enters)

So as far as other things in my life, life is good. I'm 4 weeks into my 2nd semester of nursing school, and I am loving this semester way more than last. We started clinicals on week 2, and I (we all were) was totally scared out of my mind. But it has been so great! So fun! I love it, and I finally am excited again to be a nurse! Which is big, since by the end of last semester I was wondering what I was doing, and didn't think I wanted to be a nurse anymore. So this semester and new excitement about nursing is very encouraging, to say the least.
I've given shots, pulled out IVs, pulled out a catheter, given meds, started IV pumps, watched dialysis, watched a central line started (by the PICC team), watched a paracentesis. It's been pretty cool so far. And watching some of those things, I've learned I don't actually love to do. It's cool to see how the procedure is done, but seeing someone get stuck with fairly large needles, and especially if they are visibly in pain, makes me start to get a little light. I could perform those tasks without getting light-headed I think, but watching them, I've decided, is not something I love. I kind of hope that goes away eventually though.
I'm at the U of U hospital, and I've been in AIM-A and AIM-B so far, and have been pretty lucky to get put with pretty good nurses so far. Some I've loved more than others, but overall, I've gotten pretty lucky. My favorite has been Portia in AIM-A on my 2nd week of clinicals, and I really like her name.

My ward is still great. Mostly because of the girls. We have awesome girls in this ward, and I still feel so blessed to have made such great friends already. The RS president was moving, so the RS presidency all got changed a few weeks ago, and I was called as Jamie's 2nd counselor. I was thrilled to receive the calling, mostly because I was so worried they were going to ask me to be RS pres. And I of course would have said yes, but that would have been so stressful right now. But I was also excited because I love Jamie, and knew she would be so great, and I was excited to still be working with her. And it's been a lot of fun! Brittany Berg is the 1st counselor, and hilarious Emily Gillespie is the secretary. We have a lot of fun.

So yeah, I'm not dating anyone, still, ever, and often that doesn't get to me too much. But I do have my days when my singleness is really frustrating. And last week and weekend were some of those days. I have been feeling so undatable, so unattractive to guys, like I wasn't even appealing at all upon first meeting a guy. Which may actually be true. I've never been one of those girls to catch a guy's attention upon first meeting. They have to get to know me to like me. Which in some ways is flattering, but in some ways, stinks. It makes me feel totally unattractive. But the past couple days I've felt better about things in that arena. Partly because of these small positive occurances regarding David Hall, and also because of my little crush on Casey at TRAILS. And since I just mentioned that, I'll quickly tell about it.

So I was waiting at the bus/shuttle stop outside the hospital with Elisa, after our clinicals, and my shuttle came, and I wanted to finish saying what I was saying to Elisa, and thought I had time, so then I got up to walk toward it, saw Casey, who had just gotten off, said hi, and then the shuttle started leaving! So I started running to it to flag it down, but to no avail. However, that was a blessing in disguise, because then I headed back to where Elisa was, and Casey had watched this, so I jokingly called to him, "Why didn't you hold the bus?" He walked back toward me, and started chatting with me. He initiated the conversation mostly, it was so great. He asked me how school was and such, and I asked him about school too. We stood there and chatted for a good five minutes or so. He is a good conversationalist (hallelujah! Finally, someone!), and he's really easy to talk to. We have similar senses of humor, and we think similarly, it seems. He uses his time really well, and is a hard worker, I can tell. And if I remember right, he wants to go to med school. Really great kid, he seems. Only thing is that I'm pretty sure he's not a member. But that can be fixed, right? :)
Anyway, it was really fun to talk to him, mostly because I actually felt like he was wanting to talk to me. Which doesn't happen often, if ever. Especially lately. He makes me feel attractive, appealing. He's really nice. And I really liked how he was dressed. At least of what I noticed: shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops. At the end of our convo he asked if I was going to be at cycling tomorrow (today), and I said yes. Then we said bye and I was totally happy.

So I went to outdoor hand cycling today for TRAILS, and was excited to see him. TRAILS was fun today, I feel like I am becoming better and better friends with Natalie, Quoi, Casey, and others who run it and are always there. But especially those three. After I got there, I sat on the wood ramp thing on the trailer that Casey and Quoi were both on. Everyone was just chilling because there wasn't anything to do at the time. But right after I sat down (above Quoi and Casey), the three of us started chatting, and Casey promptly scooted up the ramp closer to me, as we kept chatting. I loved that, I was totally flattered.
I think he is 24. Not positive, but I'm hoping that's true. Because if not, he's not older, so he's younger.

So those are my two current interests. Two totally different guys, ha. But now you have it. I have officially confessed.

David saga, continued, including Amy meets David!

So yeah, so the other day I got on his fb page, I guess to see if there was anything new, and noticed that he had recently signed up/joined the team for the 5k for Luann Kennington, which I had also been invited to join a while ago, but had decided not to run it because it is an expensive race ($40)! So I saw that he was running it, which made me happy about two things: 1) I didn't have to try to decide whether or not to hike Timp this weekend, merely so I could invite him, and 2) I could run this race instead, and see him there!
So I basically decided to run the race, and clearly made it sound like I had no idea he was running it when I signed up. Ha. Is that total dishonesty...?
So hopefully I'll see him on Sat., because he is, yet again, the only reason I paid a whopping $43 (fee included, of course) for the race!

And here's another thing: tonight, I got a text from my dearest Amy Brown (who is home from Jeru!), who I have told all about my obsession with this David Hall, who is now down there in Provo, etc., etc. And I told her, jokingly, to keep an eye out for him.
So anyway, totally out of the blue tonight, she texts me and says that she and Allison were at a grad BBQ tonight and ended up in line right in front of a David Hall that worked in Salt Lake! Hahaha! What are the odds of THAT?? She said that when she mentioned my name he lit up and said he was going to go hiking with me, etc. Her exact text (2nd one) was this:

"Hahaha, sooo crazy. When I said i'd keep an eye out for him i didn't think my odds were so good. Um, i so approve. And I brought up your name and he totally lit up and then told me how you guys were going to go hike and he was busy...all news to me! ;) and I checked out his shoes, just for you. Casual white nikes. Yes, I most definitely approve and no he def didn't get our #'s you goose :) but I totes can see u guys together and i love it!!!"

Aaaaa! He lit up! I couldn't contain my excitement and had questions that needed detailed answers, so I called her. She was in the library, so she walked out so we could talk, bless her.
Anyway, so funny. Don't you think that's got to be a sign? I mean, for him to meet her, when I've already told her all about him, and that I basically want to marry him..? We both thought so.:)
But in reality, I really hope something can happen, or at least that we can continue to keep in contact and become better friends, even if it is slow.
How funny is that though?? I just can't get over that they met, and that she asked if he knew me, and his reaction. Ha!

More updates to come. Hopefully.

the rest of the convo between David and me




  • August 31
    David Peter Hall   Aug 31
    • That sounds like a blast! I don't know if I can make it though. What is the timeline for the trip? I agreed to a blind date tonight... bu maybe I can join you after.

  • August 31
    Melissa Gurr   Aug 31
    • Hm..good luck with the blind date.smile As far as timeline, so we were planning on meeting up Provo Canyon to start around 5:30, hike up to Emerald Lake (more than half way, I think), camp/sleep there, get to the top by sunrise, and then we'd be back down in the morning around 10ish. But I just got bad news that the guy planning the trip is sick and apparently it's supposed to rain/storm tonight too. So I'm waiting to hear if we're still going at all. I'll let you know.

  • August 31
    David Peter Hall    Aug 31
    • Okay, well it doesn't sound like it would work for me... but thanks for the invite, I love that kind of stuff. Have a great time if you go!

      David

  • September 3
    Melissa Gurr     Sept 3
    • So we did end up going, and it actually turned into kind of a nightmare, ha. So don't be too sad that you weren't able to come. A different group of friends and I may go again in a couple weeks though, so I'll let you know if we do.
      How'd the blind date go?

  • September 3
    David Peter Hall     Sept 3
    • Yeah let me know for sure. The blind date was good. Funny story about that, I went on a blind date Friday night AND Saturday night. And to make a long story short, it turned out that the two girls I was set up with are roommates. And in my ward. How's that for coincidence?

  • September 3
    Melissa Gurr       Sept 3
    • Oh, that is hilarious. Yeah, what are the odds? I'm assuming it was two different people that set you up then. How funny. So, was one better company than the other? And are you going to be a source of contention between the two roommates now? That is the question.
    • And are you also their home teacher? smile

  • September 3
    David Peter Hall    Sept 3
    • I am going to try to get them for home teaching, but we will see. ha ha. I don't think it will be a source of contention. I don't plan on asking either of them out again.

  • 49 minutes ago
    Melissa Gurr     TODAY--Sept 9, 2012
    • So you've probably already assumed this, but just to let you know, we are not hiking Timp again this weekend after all.
      But I saw that you are running the 5k for Luann on Saturday too! How do you know the Kenningtons? Were you in the ward when he was still in the bishopric?




So that's where we're at with that. But yesterday Liz in the ward posted about some job openings on the ward fb page, and David (though he's not actually in the ward anymore) made a funny comment, so I "liked" it (after some consideration of not, for fear he might think I was totally into him or something...). And then after more consideration on not, I commented as well, referencing his comment, hoping that anyone would think my comment was funny.
To my great and utter surprise and joy, not thirty min or so later, someone had already "liked" my comment, and IT WAS DAVID!!! "David Peter Hall likes this" it said. I was giddy. Because not only does that mean he doesn't think I'm creepy (at least I feel like I can assume that), but he LIKED my comment too! Which, again assuming, means he thought it was funny! I hope.
Anyway, I'm sure I sound like a desperate, obsessed little girl, but it's just that I've been hoping for something with him for so long, that I feel like, ever so slowly, we are becoming better acquainted.
At least my hope hasn't totally been put out.

Updates on the male department

So much to update on!!
Quick updates:
Nick A. is totally out of the picture. For multiple reasons. Reason #1 being that he is totally not for me, not my type. But he's so awkward around me, doesn't really talk to me at all. But Jamie (RS pres, and my good friend) is interested in him, and it seems kind of mutual. So all the happiness to them.
I'm still thinking about Mr. [perfect] David Hall. For a while I was praying daily about it, that something might could still happen, then there was that Nick Anderson phase and I didn't think about David a whole lot, but then I got back to thinking about him. I don't know if anything is worth hoping for, but I just really liked being around him, and everything I saw in him. I just really want to be around him enough more to either rule him out, y'know, check him off the list, or for something to happen. I just feel like if I don't, I'll wonder "what if" forever, y'know?
So after the suggestion and encouragement of Wendy, I invited him, via facebook, to come hike Timp with us. He couldn't because he was set up on a blind date. But we had some positive interaction on facebook, and then after the Timp ordeal, my friend Jessica DaCosta told me her friends were maybe going to try hiking it again in 2 weeks. I had absolutely no desire to hike that blasted mountain again. But then I thought to be able to invite David again, might be worth it. So I told David not to be too sad that he didn't come because it was a nightmare, but that I might hike it again with some other friends in 2 weeks. He said to definitely let him know.
Here is the start of our "conversation." The rest is on the next post because it wouldn't all post right on this one post.
David! Hey, how's it goin? How's BYU and P-town treating you? More importantly, have you been to Farr's Ice Cream yet? If not, you haven't reached the greatest possible happiness there in Provo.smile
So a bunch of friends and I (including at least one you know, Wendy Larson) are coming down to hike Timp tomorrow night, actually basically backpacking it, camping at a lake partway up, and then hiking the rest of the way in the morning for the sunrise. If you're not doing anything you should come!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Timp ordeal

So last weekend (Labor Day weekend) a few friends and I hiked Timp. I had never done it, and have always wanted to. It was originally going to be my friend Jessica DaCosta, from my nursing program, and a bunch of her friends, and then some friends from my ward, but then her friend planning it got sick that morning, and there was a storm warning, so most of her friends bailed. My friend, Wendy, and her friend, Nate, still wanted to go, so I agreed to still go. So it was Wendy, Nate, Andrea, Cesar (both from our ward), and me. Kind of a random group of friends, but random is good.

So a lot of people hike Timp (Mt. Timpanogos) in the night, to be at the top to see the sunrise. So our plan was to start out in the evening, hike up to Emerald Lake, which is more than half way, camp there, and then hike the rest of the way to the summit for the sunrise in the morning.

It all started when we ended up starting later than planned, and then the trail that Nate was familiar with was closed, so we had to go to a different one. We hiked the wrong trail for 3 hours (to Stewart Falls, and then practically straight up the mountain, thinking we were following the trail the post pointed to, and after risking our lives on the nearly-vertical loose dirt and rocks, decided it was the wrong trail, and carefully made our way back down, with me at the bottom, so going down first, by first unbuckling my pack and essentially throwing it down first...it rolled and rolled and rolled..). We got back to the parking lot, to square one, at 11 pm (started at 8, so we'd now been hiking for 3 hours, and we were back where we started. Awesome.

We regrouped, ate some food (tortillas and PB, thanks to Wendy), ditched the tents. Andrea and Cesar decided to take Wendy up on her offer to take her car and go home. I already had a blister from my poorly-chosen shoes to hike in, so Cesar was so great and let me wear his, so we swapped shoes. So then it was just Wendy, Nate, and me that were going to hike Timp now. We said goodbye to the two going home, and the three of us headed up the mountain.

In another nutshell, we didn't start on the right trail then until 11:30 pm, didn't get to the lake to camp until 4 am. I literally barely made it, after having been hiking then for more than 7 hours that night, it was pretty rough. There have been few times in my life when I've prayed that hard. I was pleading with HF to just get me up that mountain, because by 2 or 3 am, I was completely shot. I had pulled muscle in my hip, my knee wasn't doing so hot, I had a blister on the back of my heel, and I had reached total exhaustion. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. To the point of tears. I was crying off and on, and towards the top I just cried and prayed as I dragged myself up the mountain. It was pretty traumatic. Once at the lake, we stripped down and put on what dry clothes we had (we were all drenched from sweat, even though it was freezing outside), threw down our sleeping bags on the tarp Nate brought, slept for about an hour (that was the dryest, warmest hour of sleep ever...so great), then it started raining.

So we got up, tried making this lean-to with the tarp, next to this shelter we had been sleeping by (there were already campers sleeping inside of it, otherwise we would have been camping in there), but after a few min. we were getting wet. And by now it was POURING, along with thundering and lightening like crazy. So luckily there was the rangers' shelter up there, which we took cover in, wet, cold, and exhausted, along with about 40 other hikers in there. It was basically standing room only. And besides being totally miserable, it was pretty comical, the situation we were in. We waited it out in there, with all the other hikers, for just under a couple hours, and then headed back down the mountain. None of us had any desire to even try to hike to the top anymore.

We went down the other side, down the trail that we originally were going to come UP. Nate thought it would be a lot easier to traverse, and he was right. I was really glad not to re-visit the same trail we had come up. The best part of the whole ordeal was the view when we started back down. The rain had stopped, and the tons of fog that had been present was clearing, the sky was blue, the mountain was covered in green vegetation, and it was absolutely beautiful. That made it all worth it.

3 1/2 hours later we made it to the bottom. Going down was much better than going up, for obvious reasons, but thank heavens. After we were woken up by the rain after getting only an hour of sleep, I was very worried that I wouldn't be able to make it down very well, having only slept that long, when that was what I was so lacking the night before, making getting UP the mountain extremely difficult. But in the shelter, Wendy let me sit down on her sleeping bag, so I sat (while they stood, though there was eventually enough room to sit, but they stayed standing for some reason) for over an hour, which I'm sure helped to rest my legs some more at least, even if I wasn't able to sleep any more.

But I can't even describe the joy I felt when we reached the bottom. SO relieved!!! And after only a few minutes, Cesar pulled up to pick us up, and boy were we happy to see him!

So needless to say, we were pretty dead by the end of it all, ha. Miserable night, but funny to look back on all that happened. :)