One of the reasons it was so much fun was because Jessica Viehweg, who is new in the ward, was basically my buddy the whole time. She's really awesome, 24 like me, just got back from her mission in Malaysia, studying exercise science as well, and also wanting to be a PA. So we have a lot in common and she's a really cute and fun girl. She actually reminds me a lot of Sister Dickson, one of my favorite companions.
Anyway, it was just Jessica and I in my car there and back, so we got to talk a lot, and that was great. We sat together at the pageant, and slept next to each other in the tent. She's like my new ward friend, which is nice because Tiffany, my new summer friend next door, is moving home to Canada this week, she's decided.
Anyway, so that's partly why it was so fun (not to mention Trisha being there, and Andrea, Rachel, Jeff, Melissa Tribe, and others). But it was also a lot of fun because Isaac went. Yes, the Isaac that I was so frustrated with not too long ago. Well, this past week those frustrations have subsided slightly--he sat next to me at institute, totally of his own accord, and then walked next to me on the way home from institute after, and of course teased and flirted with me all the way home. That was when we started the joke of him thinking about me often..haha. Anyway, so I wasn't so irritated with him, and was then even hoping he was going on the Manti trip, etc. He was, and I was glad.
So then on the Manti trip--oh wait, the day before the trip, on Thurs evening, I took over a bag of skittles and just left them on his door step, in apology for us stealing their bowl of skittles a few weeks ago when we stopped by to say hi at their elders quorum movie night. We girls had just pranked Dan Smith next door (he was at Isaac's watching the movie) and were hyper, and Isaac had called and invited me and whoever to come to their movie night cuz it failed, due to there being no girls there, he said. I had joked earlier in the week about how I wanted to include on the ward email for the guys to not forget to bring a date to the EQ movie night. I was being funny, but Isaac didn't find it that funny...anyway. So we used the great timing that we knew Dan and his roommates were gone to prank him, in revenge for how he got me out in Assassin at the beginning of the summer. Anyway, we took the skittles bowl and Isaac hadn't let me forget it since. And he's seemed kind of serious at times, plus I've felt bad about other kind of immature things we did that night, in our hyperness, including what we did with their skittles. So that's why I bought him more skittles. But I didn't want to actually hand them to him, and I didn't leave a note or anything, I just left them on the ground at their door.
So on Friday, we got to Manti and were at our tent site before the pageant started, and I saw him and said hi, and he came over and stuck out his hand in like a truce-like way, like making amends. I said, "Did you get them?" and he said yes, and then he said, very sincerely, "You are a gem. You were a gem before, but you are a gem." It was so sweet, b/c he was so sincere. That was so refreshing, since so much of what he says to me is sarcastic and teasing. I wish he would talk to me like that more, because I think we could have really great conversations and a really great relationship.
So we all walked up to the pageant and I had all my blankets and purse/bag with treats and everything in my arms, and as we were walking, I was just walking with Jessica and chatting, and we were on the edge of the group, and he deliberately came over to us and wanted to help me carry something. I thought that was really nice and gave him a couple blankets to carry. Then we just started chatting, about his Chinese lessons he's taking and things. I was really excited to be having a regular conversation, no sarcasm, and really hoped this would last.
As we kept walking, our group slowly got more spread out, and somehow Jessica and I were walking a little ways ahead of Isaac and Steve Schmidt. Isaac saw something funny in someone's house window, and immediately called out to me, "Melissa! Did you see that?!" He wanted me to see it and share in what he thought was funny. I didn't see what he had, but I was so flattered that he would do that, and specifically call out my name. We got there, and I really wanted to sit by him, so I made sure Jessica went in first (in the row of chairs saved for us) and then I did, and Steve was behind me, which I was bumbed about cuz Isaac was behind him. Jessica sat down, then I did, then Steve stepped over to the row in front, also with ward members, and Isaac went ahead and sat down next to me. I was really glad.
So that was really fun, the pageant was a little cheesy at parts, but fine, but Isaac and I would joke about something, flirting every now and then, and he cracks me up. Our arms were touching some of the time, but then he'd move, so I don't know what to think about that. But then like I was holding the bag of carrots and we were both eating out of it, and he stuck his hand in and shook it around, so I grabbed it with my free hand, and he was like, "if you want to hold my hand, just say so" or "just grab it" or something like that. But he says things like this and gives me attention like that, that I just have to assume that he feels something for me, or is interested, or something.
Anyway, it was really fun to be sitting next to him, and Jessica as well. We walked back and we kind of all just joked about the pageant the whole way back to the park where we were camped. It was pretty funny, the cheesiness of it, and the dramatic body language and hand motions throughout the whole thing as they spoke. My favorite phrase in the pageant was "violent spiritual ecstasy." I don't remember when it was said or why, but when it was, I was like, "what?" repeating it to Isaac, and said, "Use that in a sentence." I was kind of just kidding, but a minute later he leaned over to me and said something to the effect of, "When I think of you, I'm thrown into a violent spiritual ecstasy." I busted up, it was hilarious.
Anyway, once back to our tents, we didn't really interact much. A bunch of us (Jessica, Andrea, Trisha, Steve, Josh, Jeff, Melissa,...a couple others..) started playing Match Uno on blankets and with lanterns that I brought from home, but Isaac and the others (Patrick, Erin, Catherine, Kindel) stayed a little ways away and just chatted or whatever. I of course was wishing he would come play with us, but we had a lot of fun, so it was fine.
Then in the morning, I think I was actually one of the very first ones up, surprisingly. I woke up at like 6:30 and could tell I probably wasn't going back to sleep, plus my allergies started and I had to sit up to blow my nose and everything, so I just stayed up. But after a little bit Jessica woke up and we got up and went to the bathroom so she could brush her teeth. Then she set out her blanket on the grass and we just sat on it. I was laying on it when Isaac came out, and he stood blocking the sun for me, and would move when I would move so he could block the sun from my eyes. I thought that was so nice.
When we took the tents down he seemed to want to specifically help me. That was sweet too. After that, he and I didn't have too much interaction. And he rode back with Catherine and those guys again (who he came down with).
So after the trip I was feeling great about him again, really liking the interaction we had had, and was feeling pretty confident that there is something there, mutually. I just was wishing he would do something about it.
But then today, at church, I only had a little interaction with him, and it wasn't great, and I was irritated with what how he said what he said to me (until we got interrupted when someone came up to talk to him). It was right after sac. mtg. and I had wanted him to come sit by me cuz he was sitting along on a close row across the aisle and no one was next to me on that side. But he didn't. So then after sac. mtg. I had been brave and made eye contact with him and said hi, how's it goin? And then he was like, "I liked your phone call yesterday" or something, referring to the message Andy (Proctor--they are good friends) left on his voicemail while he was here at my apt borrowing my cowboy boots and hat, and told him that I had mentioned that he and I had hung out overnight the night before (at Manti)...it was all just a joke, of course, and I thought it was all hilarious, but how Isaac said just that much (before we got interrupted), and with the tone in his voice, I just didn't feel like he really thought it was that funny, and that maybe he was even offended or something. I don't know. But it kind of ticked me off because I had been so excited to see his reaction to it, when Andy left the message, and his reaction, or the little I got of it, was totally a let down. I had wanted to explain more of the situation and how Andy got to calling him and leaving that message, what led up to it. But I didn't get to. Whoever it was started talking to him and so I waited for a few seconds, but then felt awkward just standing there, so I left and went to the bathroom to fix myself before ward council.
So now I was irritated with him again, and bummed about the situation. I conducted ward council today, and at one point he was talking about something, an idea they had for a ward fireside, and explaining it to all of ward council, but he mainly kept looking at me as he talked. And I don't know if it was because I was conducting and I had asked about any other calendar items to discuss, or what. But I was glad and irritated at the same time.
Then after ward council was over I just was leaving and happened to walk out behind Kim and Isaac, and didn't really acknowledge him or anything but looked both ways to try to remember which end of the building we were on to figure out which way to go to go home, and he noticed, and then as I turned the opposite way that they were going (cuz they weren't going home yet) he was like, "Oh my gosh Melissa." and that's all he said. He does this oh my gosh thing with me, and it was funny for a while, but then not when it was just part of his constant sarcasm around me. But when he said it it was like he just wanted to say something to me, and that's what he resorted to on the spot or something. I left and walked home just irritated and frustrated with him.
Why can things be so good between us just a day and a half before, and then it's like we're (or he's) shy around each other (around me), or we're back to this sarcasm. He was SO friendly with me, and it was SO good Friday night at the pageant! Why does it change so quickly?? And why does he seem SO interested at times like that and then never DOES anything??? I'm getting so fed up with him! Not because he's perfect and I just want to date him so bad or anything, but because he is messing with my emotions. As much as I think I'm not affected by him much or that I'm like "whatever" about him, after I'm irritated with him, and he is nice again and gives me positive attention, he makes me think about him a lot again. And then he's a bum and dumb and does nothing. Doesn't text me, call me, ask me to do anything. It's clear that when we're together he likes being around me. But he never does anything! Aaa! I am so frustrated with him, and boys in general. I'm fed up again.
Boys are so frustrating. They show interest, and then do nothing. Then they show interest, and do nothing. This is the story of my life right now. Aaaaa! I just want to be out of this dang game.
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