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| This was on my last Friday, when LynAnn and Dixie came to say goodbye to me. It was a bitter sweet time, I love them all, and it was hard to have to leave Dean. LynAnn gave me a sweet note and necklace from his four kids, and Dixie gave me this sweet Precious Moments little statue. I will cherish those forever. |
Shortly after I quit my job at the Courtyard and moved up here to Salt Lake, he went into the hospital because he was throwing up blood. Once he was stable enough he was moved to Orchard Park nursing home and rehab, and he kind of went up and down, doing well, and not. But LynAnn told me that something must have gone out in his lungs because that was the strongest thing in him, and by last night he was needing to be on 11 L of O2! That is practically unheard of! He was never on O2 before he went to the hospital. So it sounds like she kind of knew that he was going yesterday. Thankfully all his kids and his wife were all there with him yesterday, so that was a blessing.
But man, I am so sad. Grandpa Gurr died two months ago, and this is way harder.
Dean was like a grandpa, but even more so like one of my favorite friends. Seriously. He often knew more about my social life and the dates I went on than anyone else, because I saw him everyday, and because he'd always ask about those things. He was so concerned with getting me married, it was hilarious. He asked me, sometimes daily--and especially on Mondays, after the weekend--if I had gotten married last night (or over the weekend). Or who'd I pick up last night? Or who was I gonna pick up tonight? And he'd often say, with exasperation, "Gosh, how're we gonna get you married..?!" I always told him that if I ever did get married, it would be because of him. No one was trying harder than Dean to get me married.
Dean was such a selfless man, and would always ask about others. He never complained, and if he did, like about pain, you knew it was bad. He never wanted to be a bother, and hated asking for help. Which was often really frustrating/concerning, because he would try to get up or do things on his own, and fall. He hated bothering us at Courtyard for help.
He is such a smart man. LynAnn started ordering him the daily newspaper, Deseret News, so I could read to him everyday. He liked hearing the headlines, and more about certain articles. Sometimes I would read him more of an article than just the headline, because I wanted to know more about it.:) And he never complained or stopped me. He would just humor me and let me keep reading. He liked to hear the main section headlines, Local, and Sports. As he slowly declined, he lost interest in the news as much. But I still loved reading the paper, even if it was just while he listened to his tapes or slept. He got me addicted to reading the paper and knowing what was going on in the world. I told him that after I left I wouldn't know what was happening in the world because I wouldn't be able to read him the paper anymore.:)
Oh, how I miss him. He was so sweet, and for the about month before I left, he would often say to me, "I'm gonna miss you, Melissa!" and I would tell him I was going to miss him too. He was the main reason I was sad to leave my job. I always told him I would call him, to not worry, but I'll call you, Dean. I told him I'd tell him all about any dates I went on, and certainly if I started dating anyone. And that he'd be one of the first to know if/when I got engaged. I regret to say that I waited for over a week after I moved up here, to try calling him, and tried a few times, and then texted Jaclyn (she took over my job) to have him call me, or at least tell him I'd been trying to call him, but by then he was in the hospital. I was emailing LynAnn, and after he was moved to Orchard Park she was going to try to get me a phone number I could call him on, but today what she said sounded like he just wasn't able to talk or what not. So I never got to talk to him. This kills me, and makes me so sad. I waited too long to try to call him. I've wanted to talk to him so much in the last week or so, and even more so now. What I wouldn't give to hear his voice on the phone, and when I would say, "Dean! It's Melissa!" to hear him say, like he always did, either, "Martha?" or "Melissa who?" That was our daily game, or the way we started out everyday when I went in his room in the morning for the first time. I loved it. Martha, he called me.
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| I took my friends one Sunday to visit Dean. I'm so glad I did that. It was the only Sunday I've really ever gone to my work just to visit. And my friends got to meet the great man I would always talk about. |
I could go on, but I think this has been therapeutic for me. I am so sad about this, I can't imagine how Dixie, his sweet wife who I love, is feeling. She just got back from a cruise with her sisters, in time to be at the hospital with the family and then through when he passed, which is so good. This was just so quick and sudden and unexpected. Not a lot of warning.
He had Parkinson's and some dementia. He had glaucoma as well, which made him all but totally blind. He could seen bright things and lights and figures, but not much else. And he had a really bad hip that we'd been going to doctors appointments for the last few months of me working with him, to get him cleared for a possible hip replacement. And my very last day, the very last thing for my job I did was take Dean (Jaclyn came) to his last doctor's appointment, to Dr. Jeff Smith, this other orthopedic surgeon, to get a second and final opinion. We were all impressed with this Dr. Smith, and when we left, the ones of us there (Dean, Camille, and myself) were pretty convinced that that is the route Dean wanted to go. They had even scheduled the surgery (somewhat tentatively) for June 19, I think. Which would have been a week before his 83rd birthday. So for that reason, I'm so glad he's not in pain anymore, and that he won't have to go through that surgery, and even more so, the rehab and recovery. His right hip was so painful and gave him so much trouble.
And I am so glad he got to be surrounded with his wife and kids before he passed. That is such a blessing. One of the first things we did together when I started as the personal assistant was compile his testimony for his posterity. He dictated and I typed (Bekah started the project just before she quit to have her baby.). And he ended up with six pages of testimony with some of his history mixed in. It was really special, and with the help of his wife, he got it copied and given to all of his children, their spouses, his grandchildren, and even some for the greats, when they are old enough (at least, that was his plan). And what a blessing that he did that when he did. Some of his kids and their spouses aren't active, or aren't members. That was a huge concern for him that weighed on his mind quite heavily. He hoped so badly that this document, his testimony, would help resolve those things and bring his inactive kids back to the Church. I hope they come back too. Such a great family. Especially LynAnn, she is inactive, even served a mission. I know her the best out of all of them (Camille after), and I so hope she comes back to the Church. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Maybe Dean can work on them even hard now, from the other side. :)
I love Dean, and I will certainly miss him. I already did, greatly. I have thought about him often since I left work. I bet he is with his brother's wife, who recently passed (his poor brother, Dean was kind of his new time-killer, you could say. Scott would come visit him often, since his wife passed. Now he's lost his brother.), and I'm sure he's with his other siblings who have passed..maybe just brothers? I can't remember. He's told me about of bunch.. But I bet he is happy, and best of all, pain free.
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| My last day with Dean, right after a doctor's appt. (with Dr. Jeff Smith) |
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