I want to be a PA!!!

I talked to Mom yesterday, and it was a good thing. Definitely was supposed to. She is so wise, and it helps too that she has spent her adult life in the medical field.

She advised me what seems so logical. She advised me to do everything I can to get in to PA school (which she was encouraging me more and more to choose over nursing, which I am feeling stronger and stronger about all the time, especially as she was talking to me more about it and the more and more opportunities PAs have these days, etc.), and if that means retaking the GRE and applying to lots more schools, then do it. And as for the financial aspect of things, she emphasized and reminded me that my education is what I am working on pursuing right now, that this is the time in my life to focus on my education (not worry so much about saving to pay back my loans at this point in time--I do still have a few months), and that when the time comes to repay the interest on my loan (of what will then, in Feb, have gotten up to $1000), they can probably help me with it, etc. Mom (and Dad too, of course) is always so willing to offer to help me financially. I don't like having to borrow or take money from them, I like being able to pay for things myself, plus I know that they have their own money struggles. But I appreciate it so much that they will never let me go under or without. I was able to finish my last two semesters of school because of them, when I didn't get the loan I was planning on. I am so grateful for such amazing and supportive parents.

Anyway, so I've decided to retake the GRE, probably right after Christmas, which means I have just less than three weeks to study, and then I'll just keep applying to as many schools as I can afford to.

I want to be a PA so badly, I want to get in somewhere so bad. My biggest fear right now is not getting in anywhere, to any programs. I know that is lacking faith, but the thing is, I know everything will work out, it always does. And I know that if I'm supposed to get in somewhere, I'll get in. I have faith in Christ, faith in my Heavenly Father and His plan for me. But I don't have as much faith in me and my abilities and accomplishments (or lack thereof). I'm scared that my application isn't good enough to get in. This fear was very strong and overcoming up until yesterday. Today I'm feeling better about things, more hopeful, thank heavens. Last night I was feeling more worried and scared and stressed about things, including the GRE, than I have in a while, and I plead with HF to take away my feeling of fear and help me not to worry. And today that has definitely come.