Dates!

Tonight I went to the BYU baseball game with Nate Bingham in the ward (went to the Ballroom concert with him a few weeks ago--not romantically interested, but he's comfortable to talk to), and I have a date tomorrow night with James Jensen, and Saturday (morning now) with Ken (he called me on Tues. night)! But that's THREE dates in one week! This is unheard of in my life, and so strange! Ever since about the beginning of March, I've had at least one date almost every week. It's bizarre. Really fun, but bizarre. Never in my life has this happened. I met up with Justine today (she's back from her internship in NY!) for lunch, and I was telling her about this strange situation, and she was asking me why, or what's my secret. And I honestly don't know, but the only thing I can think of that maybe is different lately is that I've basically given up on guys in a sense. Not on guys in general, though from time to time I quazi-have. But more on trying to impress guys that I'm interested in to the point where I'm not myself. I used to not even like going on dates because I'd get nervous and want to impress them, to the point where this wall would go up, and I wasn't myself, and I was more quiet and stuff. But just as of the last couple months I guess, a switch flipped or something, and I am more able to be more myself, around anyone, guys I'm interested in or not, than I ever have before. I feel more confident around guys, more so than ever, and just don't get so nervous and not myself anymore. I think I've just really decided that if a guy doesn't like the real me, then I don't want to date or marry him, so I can just be myself. Always. It's been a really nice feeling, and I've wondered before that's why I'm getting more dates than I ever have. The guys that are just nice and friendly and confident (but not cocky) are often the most attractive to me, so it makes sense in that way. I just wonder why it's taken me so long to not care. And also, the nice thing has been, that most of these dates I've gone on have been with guys that I've known for at least a little while, and have become somewhat good friends with, at least, and so the dates aren't really awkward, and I AM able to be more myself because I already know them. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten as nervous on them. And very few of them I've been actually romantically interested, they're mostly just guys I want to be friends with.

But Ken, I'm interested in him. This Sat. will be our second date, and I'm way excited. He texted me today and let me know that "we may or may not be going canoing." That should be so fun! He works at the ropes course by Utah Lake, and loves it. But they have canoing there, which I've been to once. Ha, that was on a blind date, and I think it was the most awkward blind date I've ever been on. It was with that guy that was Rachelle's (in my ward at Glenwood) friend. I was the RS Pres. at the time, and he was the EQ Pres. in his ward at the time, so I guess that's why Rachelle thought we were compatible. Boy, were we ever NOT. Luckily I got to bring Cheryl along, and he brought his roommate for her, and the whole date was still awkward, but more hilarious with her there, and we got to laugh about it forever after.

So that's always what I think of when I think of canoing there, so I'm excited to have a much better experience doing it with Ken. :) It should be fun.