Since I last wrote in Sept 2014, other things that have happened in my life:
-Trip with friends to St. George to see Joseph in the Tuacahn (that's been on my bucket list for a while), and while we were down there we played sand volleyball, did some swimming and hot tubbing, watched Divergent, visited Grandma Gurr on the way down, and went to church. Fun weekend! People included: Jamie, Julene, Jenna Tiller, Tron, and Josh; and Matt and his friend the first night, on their way to Vegas to rock climb.
-Trip to San Antonio in Oct. to surprise Sally for her birthday. It was so fun! Such a fun trip. Usually I am about ready to go home when it's time, to get back to my people, to my routine, etc. But this trip I had no desire to go home. I could have stayed for days longer! It was so fun. And so fun to be with the kids! Little Keelan became my little buddy, it was so sweet. :)
-Grandma Gurr's passing. A bitter-sweet thing. She had a totally unexpected stroke one Sunday at church, and died 8 days later. Sad to see her children sad about it, but so happy for her that she gets to be with Grandpa and her two little boys now, who died when they were small. And also so grateful that I got to see her just a few weeks prior, on my way to St. George with friends.
-Dated Darren Christensen, from Tinder. Chatted some on Tinder, then found out we were both going to be in San Antonio at the same time (him for work, me to surprise Sally for her birthday), and ended up meeting and going out there in San Antonio, is was a marathon date, he kissed me at the end, then we dated for about a month. He is a great guy, but not my type for marriage. He hasn't been real active in the church for a long time, didn't serve a mission, doesn't have a degree, etc. Which are usually all red flags. But for some reason I felt like I needed to give it a chance. I ended things because I don't click with him.Conversation with him isn't stimulating for me. He grew up in Ephraim, hasn't been to much school, and sounds uneducated, in how he talks, which kind of drives me crazy, haha. But we had multiple gospel conversations, I helped him start reading the scriptures again, and we talked multiple times about schooling, encouraging him to think about going back to school and get a degree. I ended things because I knew nothing was going to happen long-term. It was really a surprise for him, and was a major bummer, and I felt terrible. Worse than normal, because I felt like he was more fragile than other guys, being not super strong in the Church and what not. And I still really wanted to stay friends and talk and stuff, so I could keep helping him (I left that last part out when I talked to him about it.). And at first things were different, and I thought he wouldn't want to talk anymore, but I just felt so bad about things it was killing me, and we ended up hashing things out again and I told him how bad I felt and he asked me if I was having second thoughts about things, and I said, well as far as long term with us, I still feel the same. And I said, let's just do the friend thing for now, and who knows, maybe there could be something more again later. He was good with that, and then things were good, and we were friends again, and we've still been able to talk about stuff like the Gospel and education, etc.
And now, a month and a half after I ended things, he still texts me every day, without fail, and almost every morning sends me a "Good morning" or "Good morning beautiful:)" text. He's a really sweet guy, I wish I felt more for him, he would be a great husband, I think. Not to mention he's great at giving massages! haha. He's a massage therapist, that's one thing that he does.
Anyway, so that's Darren. :)
-Went to Disneyland the weekend before Christmas!!! Oh man, that was SUCH a fun trip! Tron found cheap flights, so a bunch of us went out there last weekend. Including Mark, Cambri, Jamie, me, and the four of us flew in Thurs night, and spend all Fri in the two parks, then the other four, Tron, Jeremy, Audrey, and Loren flew in Fri and spent the day there with us all Sat. It was such a fun trip, and so fun to be there for Christmastime! Everything is Christmas-y and the Castle is covered in lights and icicles, and different rides are decked out Christmas-y..it was so great. One of the highlights for me was seeing the Aladdin show in California Adventure, it was Aladdin the musical, basically, and it was so good! So fun! Another highlight was going on Splash Mountain twice in a row with Jamie, because it was cloudy and chilly so Mark and Cambri didn't want to go, and going twice because the line was five min. And our FACES on the second time down, haha..SO funny! Good times.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Christmas Eve at work
Wow, it's been a while since I've written.
So I worked on Christmas Eve (two days ago), just an 8 hr shift in the day (which turned out to be like a 10 hr shift, but whatever), and it was a fine shift, busy, but good. But one of my patients that I had had that day, I had the day before too, and his name was, well we'll call him A. Nash, for HIPAA purposes. He's this single 33 year old (or so?), who is from Iowa, and is an alcoholic. He came out to Utah a couple years ago for a girl mostly, is what it sounded like. That girl didn't work out but he can't afford to move back to Iowa, so he is stuck in Utah. But he basically has no one here in Utah. No friends out here, no family. And he really wants to NOT be an alcoholic. He works at Trader Joe's, and if he didn't show up to work today (Friday), his last chance at work was out. After taking care of him for a couple days, I just really felt this love for him, and wanted to help him and/or be his friend. It just kills me that he has no one out here. And I even talked to his mom a few times on the phone, and she said the same thing, that he doesn't really have anyone out here. And no one should have no one. I am so blessed to have so many good people in my life, friends and family, and I don't know how I would get through life without these people. AND not to mention the Gospel.
I just wanted to help him so much. And of course, with so many other patients I have, I thought, he just needs the Gospel. It would help so many people in their life.
I brought up the Church once the second day, by asking if he was religious at all. He said he was spiritual, but not religious. I told him I was LDS and what a blessing it was in my life, and what a great support the missionaries could be for him, and told him to let me know if he would like me to get them in touch with him.
So when I was discharging him on Christmas Eve, I wrote my email address and the website mormon.org on the last page of his discharge papers, and told him that I don't usually do that, but that he is welcome to email me, that I would love to support him or what not.
That was two days ago, and I haven't heard from him, which I'm not super surprised about, but I do hope that I do. I would love to just be someone that he can talk to or what not. And that could have been a dumb thing to do, but I felt good about it, and I was glad I did it after. He was really appreciative of me as his nurse, and was very sincere in thanking me for everything, which I really appreciated. And he thanked me for everything a couple times. Nice guy.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to write about this experience because it's experiences like this that make this job, that is sometimes really hard and exhausting and not fun, very worth it and fulfilling.
So I worked on Christmas Eve (two days ago), just an 8 hr shift in the day (which turned out to be like a 10 hr shift, but whatever), and it was a fine shift, busy, but good. But one of my patients that I had had that day, I had the day before too, and his name was, well we'll call him A. Nash, for HIPAA purposes. He's this single 33 year old (or so?), who is from Iowa, and is an alcoholic. He came out to Utah a couple years ago for a girl mostly, is what it sounded like. That girl didn't work out but he can't afford to move back to Iowa, so he is stuck in Utah. But he basically has no one here in Utah. No friends out here, no family. And he really wants to NOT be an alcoholic. He works at Trader Joe's, and if he didn't show up to work today (Friday), his last chance at work was out. After taking care of him for a couple days, I just really felt this love for him, and wanted to help him and/or be his friend. It just kills me that he has no one out here. And I even talked to his mom a few times on the phone, and she said the same thing, that he doesn't really have anyone out here. And no one should have no one. I am so blessed to have so many good people in my life, friends and family, and I don't know how I would get through life without these people. AND not to mention the Gospel.
I just wanted to help him so much. And of course, with so many other patients I have, I thought, he just needs the Gospel. It would help so many people in their life.
I brought up the Church once the second day, by asking if he was religious at all. He said he was spiritual, but not religious. I told him I was LDS and what a blessing it was in my life, and what a great support the missionaries could be for him, and told him to let me know if he would like me to get them in touch with him.
So when I was discharging him on Christmas Eve, I wrote my email address and the website mormon.org on the last page of his discharge papers, and told him that I don't usually do that, but that he is welcome to email me, that I would love to support him or what not.
That was two days ago, and I haven't heard from him, which I'm not super surprised about, but I do hope that I do. I would love to just be someone that he can talk to or what not. And that could have been a dumb thing to do, but I felt good about it, and I was glad I did it after. He was really appreciative of me as his nurse, and was very sincere in thanking me for everything, which I really appreciated. And he thanked me for everything a couple times. Nice guy.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to write about this experience because it's experiences like this that make this job, that is sometimes really hard and exhausting and not fun, very worth it and fulfilling.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
My thankful list: new car!, half marathon!, Sally, friends, etc.
Life in general is good.
Here's what I am most thankful for right now:
-my new car!! About a week ago I bought a car for the first time. It has been a very big deal. After saving for about 7 months, and car shopping for probably 2 long months (I was SO done with car shopping by the time I bought it), I finally found and purchased what seems like will be a good car, and which I love more and more the more I drive it! It's a 2007 Hyundai Tucson, and it's like a light sea foam green color. It's an SUV, which I've wanted for a long time, but never really thought I'd actually own. But it's a small SUV, gets pretty good gas mileage, and it's fun to drive. And it has an awesome radio/CD player, with a remote included, which I think is Jamie's favorite. the radio thing is always lit up and it constantly changes color, it's awesome. The interesting thing about this car buying experience is that I found this 2002 Honda CRV a little while ago, that I really liked, even brought it home, seemed like a great car, loved everything about it except the price. The guy at that dealership wouldn't budge on price, so I left that day, after I was ready to make an offer and buy the car. I was bummed. Then about a week later I decided it was worth the money and I'd just bite the bullet because it seemed like a great car. And I had prayed all week (I worked a lot in the beginning of the week and couldn't do anything about it even if I wanted to) that it would still be there after all my shifts, if I was supposed to buy it. I was, and then the next day I called, and he had sold it the night before. I was absolutely crushed. I felt like it was the perfect car for me, so much that I almost felt like it was a mistake that someone else bought it. I wondered if they might bring it back. Not really, but I just felt totally and completely crushed and regretful. I was so bummed. I totally lost the motivation to look for a car for a little bit after that too.
And even when I bought the car I just bought, I even then felt like though I liked it, and felt like I got a good deal, if I could go back I'd still get the CRV. However, now, after owning and driving this car for even just a few days, I feel like I got the right one, and that I would not go back if I could. That this car is perfect for me, I love it, and I saved about $2000 than if I had bought the CRV. And it was a great car buying experience, the guy let me offer him less than it was listed at, and then he counter-offered and we met in the middle. It was great. Anyway, my point is that even in something such as buying a car, Heavenly Father has our best interests at hand. When I lost out on what I thought was the perfect car for me, in trying to console myself, I tried to think of the possibility of there being something even better in the future. But it was hard to imagine, it really was. And I don't know if my car is necessarily bettter, but in some ways I think for me, it is. I really like the look of it, and have come to like it more and more all the time, maybe even more than the CRV, the radio is awesome, it gets slightly better gas mileage than the CRV I think.. so I just really feel like even in this situation, Heavenly Father had my back. And I did get something even better in the end, that I absolutely love. And I feel so extremely blessed to have been able to buy this car. I was able to pay cash for it, which was always my goal, so it's totally paid off, I got my own insurance for the first time, and it's totally paid for the next six months too. And I still have money in my bank account, which I truly feel so blessed about. Plus, it was really great timing, because right before I bought it, my other car, the Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight, that I've been driving for FIVE years now, since I got home from my mission, had been quitting more frequently, so I feel like I was being watched out for there too. Good timing, but not a coincidence, I feel. God is so good to me.
Other things I'm thankful for:
-My body and being blessed be able to run a HALF MARATHON yesterday with Jamie! Holy moly, I still can't believe I actually ran a half marathon. My body sure feels like I did, still hurts to walk, but man, I just feel so blessed and accomplished. I was not able to train as much as I wanted to or should have, with the busy end of summer recently and I got sick a couple weeks ago, so I was pretty nervous about the race, and just prayed that we could have a good experience, and be able to get through it and run all or most of it. And I was so blessed. We both were. Minus the about ten minute bathroom break halfway through (Jamie had to go to the bathroom, and I stopped and stretched and drank powerade, I was definitely grateful for the little break, I think it made all the difference for me), we pretty much ran the entire race, which completely exceeded my expectations. Hers too. But we just took a good steady, slow pace the entire way, and made it through! And it really wasn't too terrible! That last mile was pretty hard to get through, but we pushed through, and even kind of sprinted to the end! I think mostly because we just wanted to be done, haha. It was so exciting though, I just still can't believe I just ran a half marathon, ha! That is so not like me I feel like. The most I'd ever run before that was my 6.3 mile leg for Ragnar this summer, and I definitely didn't run the whole time. I just feel so blessed to have been able to do this.
-My family, especially my relationship with Sally. For the past year, maybe, I have not had a good relationship with Sally, and I don't really want to take the time to explain why, but since she came and stayed here, and everything came out on the table, with tears and all, things have gotten so much better, and I actually look forward to talking to her, and want to see her, which has not been the case for quite a while, which I've hated. So I feel very blessed and my prayers have been very answered, in that our relationship is so much better now. And I'm hoping to fly down on her birthday next month and surprise her. Just have to find/bribe someone to cover one shift for me..
-My confidence and self-esteem. I feel very blessed to know who I am and to know my worth. At least to the extent I do. I have been blessed with people and experiences in my life that have given me the self-confidence that I have, and I am so so grateful for those things. Like my education, my mission, my testimony, my job, my family and knowing they love me, other experiences like doing EFY (as a counselor), past and current callings, going skydiving, recently going to Havasupai, running Ragnars, now having done this half marathon, etc. I just feel really blessed to be who I am and to have been blessed with the outgoing, friendly, fun personality that I have, and to have been blessed to have these experiences that have shaped me.
-Good friends. Right now I'm in this I'm-sick-of-people phase, including my friends, but I am grateful for them. I'm grateful to have good friends that like me.
-The cool CTR ring I bought at the state fair last night. It's silver, hand made out of the end of a spoon, and engraved with CTR, and I love it! Jamie almost got one too, but then didn't. I used to always wear a CTR ring, for years and years, the same one, and then I lost it in the grass at an intramural soccer game in nursing school. I got a new one a few months later, which I really liked, but lost that one day after taking it off to put on lotion and forgetting to put it back on before I got out of the car I was riding in, and we never found it. That was about a year ago. I don't wear rings to work, because I wash my hands so much, and it's much easier without rings on I think, just my personal preference, so I just haven't worried about getting a new one. But I'm excited to have this new one. I won't wear it at work, but other times, and I really like it. I like having one on for missionary opportunities.
-Feeling over and okay about Andy. I think I will always remember him with fondness, and cherish our times together and the mistakes we made and what we learned and shared together, and the good times we had, but I don't think about him and miss him near as much as I used to. I think that phone call with him a few weeks ago was very good for me, for that purpose. I feel like that was an end to this era of Andy. And I'm grateful to feel like I'm able to move on.
Well, I'm thankful for many things, but I better quit. Goodnight!
Here's what I am most thankful for right now:
-my new car!! About a week ago I bought a car for the first time. It has been a very big deal. After saving for about 7 months, and car shopping for probably 2 long months (I was SO done with car shopping by the time I bought it), I finally found and purchased what seems like will be a good car, and which I love more and more the more I drive it! It's a 2007 Hyundai Tucson, and it's like a light sea foam green color. It's an SUV, which I've wanted for a long time, but never really thought I'd actually own. But it's a small SUV, gets pretty good gas mileage, and it's fun to drive. And it has an awesome radio/CD player, with a remote included, which I think is Jamie's favorite. the radio thing is always lit up and it constantly changes color, it's awesome. The interesting thing about this car buying experience is that I found this 2002 Honda CRV a little while ago, that I really liked, even brought it home, seemed like a great car, loved everything about it except the price. The guy at that dealership wouldn't budge on price, so I left that day, after I was ready to make an offer and buy the car. I was bummed. Then about a week later I decided it was worth the money and I'd just bite the bullet because it seemed like a great car. And I had prayed all week (I worked a lot in the beginning of the week and couldn't do anything about it even if I wanted to) that it would still be there after all my shifts, if I was supposed to buy it. I was, and then the next day I called, and he had sold it the night before. I was absolutely crushed. I felt like it was the perfect car for me, so much that I almost felt like it was a mistake that someone else bought it. I wondered if they might bring it back. Not really, but I just felt totally and completely crushed and regretful. I was so bummed. I totally lost the motivation to look for a car for a little bit after that too.
And even when I bought the car I just bought, I even then felt like though I liked it, and felt like I got a good deal, if I could go back I'd still get the CRV. However, now, after owning and driving this car for even just a few days, I feel like I got the right one, and that I would not go back if I could. That this car is perfect for me, I love it, and I saved about $2000 than if I had bought the CRV. And it was a great car buying experience, the guy let me offer him less than it was listed at, and then he counter-offered and we met in the middle. It was great. Anyway, my point is that even in something such as buying a car, Heavenly Father has our best interests at hand. When I lost out on what I thought was the perfect car for me, in trying to console myself, I tried to think of the possibility of there being something even better in the future. But it was hard to imagine, it really was. And I don't know if my car is necessarily bettter, but in some ways I think for me, it is. I really like the look of it, and have come to like it more and more all the time, maybe even more than the CRV, the radio is awesome, it gets slightly better gas mileage than the CRV I think.. so I just really feel like even in this situation, Heavenly Father had my back. And I did get something even better in the end, that I absolutely love. And I feel so extremely blessed to have been able to buy this car. I was able to pay cash for it, which was always my goal, so it's totally paid off, I got my own insurance for the first time, and it's totally paid for the next six months too. And I still have money in my bank account, which I truly feel so blessed about. Plus, it was really great timing, because right before I bought it, my other car, the Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight, that I've been driving for FIVE years now, since I got home from my mission, had been quitting more frequently, so I feel like I was being watched out for there too. Good timing, but not a coincidence, I feel. God is so good to me.
Other things I'm thankful for:
-My body and being blessed be able to run a HALF MARATHON yesterday with Jamie! Holy moly, I still can't believe I actually ran a half marathon. My body sure feels like I did, still hurts to walk, but man, I just feel so blessed and accomplished. I was not able to train as much as I wanted to or should have, with the busy end of summer recently and I got sick a couple weeks ago, so I was pretty nervous about the race, and just prayed that we could have a good experience, and be able to get through it and run all or most of it. And I was so blessed. We both were. Minus the about ten minute bathroom break halfway through (Jamie had to go to the bathroom, and I stopped and stretched and drank powerade, I was definitely grateful for the little break, I think it made all the difference for me), we pretty much ran the entire race, which completely exceeded my expectations. Hers too. But we just took a good steady, slow pace the entire way, and made it through! And it really wasn't too terrible! That last mile was pretty hard to get through, but we pushed through, and even kind of sprinted to the end! I think mostly because we just wanted to be done, haha. It was so exciting though, I just still can't believe I just ran a half marathon, ha! That is so not like me I feel like. The most I'd ever run before that was my 6.3 mile leg for Ragnar this summer, and I definitely didn't run the whole time. I just feel so blessed to have been able to do this.
-My family, especially my relationship with Sally. For the past year, maybe, I have not had a good relationship with Sally, and I don't really want to take the time to explain why, but since she came and stayed here, and everything came out on the table, with tears and all, things have gotten so much better, and I actually look forward to talking to her, and want to see her, which has not been the case for quite a while, which I've hated. So I feel very blessed and my prayers have been very answered, in that our relationship is so much better now. And I'm hoping to fly down on her birthday next month and surprise her. Just have to find/bribe someone to cover one shift for me..
-My confidence and self-esteem. I feel very blessed to know who I am and to know my worth. At least to the extent I do. I have been blessed with people and experiences in my life that have given me the self-confidence that I have, and I am so so grateful for those things. Like my education, my mission, my testimony, my job, my family and knowing they love me, other experiences like doing EFY (as a counselor), past and current callings, going skydiving, recently going to Havasupai, running Ragnars, now having done this half marathon, etc. I just feel really blessed to be who I am and to have been blessed with the outgoing, friendly, fun personality that I have, and to have been blessed to have these experiences that have shaped me.
-Good friends. Right now I'm in this I'm-sick-of-people phase, including my friends, but I am grateful for them. I'm grateful to have good friends that like me.
-The cool CTR ring I bought at the state fair last night. It's silver, hand made out of the end of a spoon, and engraved with CTR, and I love it! Jamie almost got one too, but then didn't. I used to always wear a CTR ring, for years and years, the same one, and then I lost it in the grass at an intramural soccer game in nursing school. I got a new one a few months later, which I really liked, but lost that one day after taking it off to put on lotion and forgetting to put it back on before I got out of the car I was riding in, and we never found it. That was about a year ago. I don't wear rings to work, because I wash my hands so much, and it's much easier without rings on I think, just my personal preference, so I just haven't worried about getting a new one. But I'm excited to have this new one. I won't wear it at work, but other times, and I really like it. I like having one on for missionary opportunities.
-Feeling over and okay about Andy. I think I will always remember him with fondness, and cherish our times together and the mistakes we made and what we learned and shared together, and the good times we had, but I don't think about him and miss him near as much as I used to. I think that phone call with him a few weeks ago was very good for me, for that purpose. I feel like that was an end to this era of Andy. And I'm grateful to feel like I'm able to move on.
Well, I'm thankful for many things, but I better quit. Goodnight!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Phone call with Andy, and Tindering it up again!
I know that a majority of what I write in here for like the last...while, is about Andy, but I swear he is not what totally takes up my life. My life is good and I'm very very blessed and happy.
BUT. We talked on the phone yesterday, because I went out with this guy on Thurs--Pres. Hutchings' brother's new wife's son, who they'd been trying to set me up with for about the last year and a hal--and I had told Andy about it a couple different times in the last year, to I told him via texting the other day that it had actually happened, and he asked how it was, and I said it would be better not via text, and could I call him? That was on my way to work Sat. night, and by the time he could talk I was at work. So we ended up talking on the phone Sunday evening, and we just caught up for a bit, and then I told him the rest of the story real quick at the end because he had been driving and had arrived where he was supposed to pick up an investigator for the missionaries.
Anyway, it was good. Really good to talk to him. And it was fine that we weren't able to talk super long. But I felt like I could have (and would have loved to) talked to him all night, for hours, just hearing all about everything he was doing, all about (more about, really) his new job, living in DC, his feelings, how things are going with the goals he had of getting back to where he used to be spiritually, etc. But after we hung up I felt sort of unsatisfied. Maybe because we didn't get to talk as long as I would have liked, and our conversation was kind of quickly ended. He said it was good to talk to me, but I didn't quite get the feeling that he would have loved to talk to me for longer like I would have loved to talk to him. So that was kind of a bummer, but maybe I needed to see that. I just haven't been able to really get over him, I still miss him all the time, think about him a lot, still dream of him wanting to fly me out there to spend time with him. Which I would totally do. But maybe this phone call was partly to help me get over him.
Since then I am back to rocking Tinder, haha. I'm currently chatting with about five guys, totally new ones from the last round, and they all seem pretty cool. And three of them want to go out with me. So I'm pretty excited about that. And it has been fun to chat with guys who are wanting to and are actively trying to get to know me. I don't have that feeling with Andy so much anymore, and you need that.
So anyway, I feel better about things not working out with Andy. I get the feeling (as I have at so many different times in the past) that Andy isn't the one. And I feel okay about that right now. And I'm really grateful for that, and to find that there are still other good guys out there. At least these guys seem to be good. Andy did set a high standard for a bunch of things, so we can only hope there are others out there, ha.
Like maybe this guy, Trevor, that I've been chatting with a bunch. He's pretty much way too good looking for me, it will never work out, but he keeps impressing me. He looks like he could easily be a tool, and I "liked" him kind of on a whim, but he seems like an actual genuine guy. And he seems genuinely interested in me. So we'll see.
Gotta go to bed. Have to work again tomorrow and then leaving for Havasupai the next evening!! So excited!
BUT. We talked on the phone yesterday, because I went out with this guy on Thurs--Pres. Hutchings' brother's new wife's son, who they'd been trying to set me up with for about the last year and a hal--and I had told Andy about it a couple different times in the last year, to I told him via texting the other day that it had actually happened, and he asked how it was, and I said it would be better not via text, and could I call him? That was on my way to work Sat. night, and by the time he could talk I was at work. So we ended up talking on the phone Sunday evening, and we just caught up for a bit, and then I told him the rest of the story real quick at the end because he had been driving and had arrived where he was supposed to pick up an investigator for the missionaries.
Anyway, it was good. Really good to talk to him. And it was fine that we weren't able to talk super long. But I felt like I could have (and would have loved to) talked to him all night, for hours, just hearing all about everything he was doing, all about (more about, really) his new job, living in DC, his feelings, how things are going with the goals he had of getting back to where he used to be spiritually, etc. But after we hung up I felt sort of unsatisfied. Maybe because we didn't get to talk as long as I would have liked, and our conversation was kind of quickly ended. He said it was good to talk to me, but I didn't quite get the feeling that he would have loved to talk to me for longer like I would have loved to talk to him. So that was kind of a bummer, but maybe I needed to see that. I just haven't been able to really get over him, I still miss him all the time, think about him a lot, still dream of him wanting to fly me out there to spend time with him. Which I would totally do. But maybe this phone call was partly to help me get over him.
Since then I am back to rocking Tinder, haha. I'm currently chatting with about five guys, totally new ones from the last round, and they all seem pretty cool. And three of them want to go out with me. So I'm pretty excited about that. And it has been fun to chat with guys who are wanting to and are actively trying to get to know me. I don't have that feeling with Andy so much anymore, and you need that.
So anyway, I feel better about things not working out with Andy. I get the feeling (as I have at so many different times in the past) that Andy isn't the one. And I feel okay about that right now. And I'm really grateful for that, and to find that there are still other good guys out there. At least these guys seem to be good. Andy did set a high standard for a bunch of things, so we can only hope there are others out there, ha.
Like maybe this guy, Trevor, that I've been chatting with a bunch. He's pretty much way too good looking for me, it will never work out, but he keeps impressing me. He looks like he could easily be a tool, and I "liked" him kind of on a whim, but he seems like an actual genuine guy. And he seems genuinely interested in me. So we'll see.
Gotta go to bed. Have to work again tomorrow and then leaving for Havasupai the next evening!! So excited!
Monday, August 18, 2014
A bunch of dates, but I still miss Andy..?
So I've been on a bunch of dates lately, all first dates, with all different guys--Josh, who was cute and I had to pay for the date; then this week I had three right in a row: country dancing with Jake, who doesn't know how to date but was really fun to go dancing with; McKay who is the crazy talented and busy musician, who is a fun date-planner and a great guy, really good at conversation, but who I still think it would never work out with, ha (he is just somethin else, I can't compete with his energy and passion for..EVERYTHING, haha; and he was wearing skinny jeans..ha), but I'm trying to be open still. And then Adam last night, who is a friend of Heidi's in my ward, and who I thought would be more dorky than he actually was, so it was actually a pretty good date. We went to Footloose at the Sandy Amphitheater, and he's a lawyer, really smart, and fun to listen to because he's intellectual. We actually ended up having a lot of common interests, and by the end of the play I had become pretty fascinated with him, but he's a little more serious than I like. I tried to joke with him after about going to get the performers' autographs, and got zero reaction, ha. But a good guy.
So it's been a fun week! I don't think anything will really come of any of these guys, but I've been able to go on some fun dates at least! And previously I had decided that after all these dates I was deleting Tinder, but I have since decided that I'm not. That I'm just going to keep at it! I'm going to try to keep getting dates, because with the law of numbers, one of these has got to work out eventually, right..? Haha, who knows, but I'm gonna try! I told Jamie today that I'm going to be a Tinder fiend! haha
But after all this, I wouldn't think this would be the case, with all these masculine distractions (oh, and then there's Brian Jones, who I work with, who turns out he seems to have had a crush on me or something, for who knows how long, and I had NO IDEA, and he floored me this last week with tickling me..I still can't really believe it happened, so now THAT'S another thing..don't think he's really my type, but who knows, I think he's probably a lot different outside of work than his stoic personality at work), but I still miss Andy.
I don't always miss him, but I've been thinking about him more the last few days I guess. I was really missing him last night on my date, actually. During the play, I was wishing he was the one sitting next to me and that we were dating, and he would have his arm around me, and I'd have my hand on his leg, or in his other hand, and he'd smell really good... And I even suddenly started to tear up at this thought, which I quickly had to stifle, of course. I was on a date!
I still have this fantasy of him missing me so much that he calls me and tells me this and tells me he'll fly me out if I'll come.. and I would go for a few days, and it would be amazing.
Probably just a dream.
So it's been a fun week! I don't think anything will really come of any of these guys, but I've been able to go on some fun dates at least! And previously I had decided that after all these dates I was deleting Tinder, but I have since decided that I'm not. That I'm just going to keep at it! I'm going to try to keep getting dates, because with the law of numbers, one of these has got to work out eventually, right..? Haha, who knows, but I'm gonna try! I told Jamie today that I'm going to be a Tinder fiend! haha
But after all this, I wouldn't think this would be the case, with all these masculine distractions (oh, and then there's Brian Jones, who I work with, who turns out he seems to have had a crush on me or something, for who knows how long, and I had NO IDEA, and he floored me this last week with tickling me..I still can't really believe it happened, so now THAT'S another thing..don't think he's really my type, but who knows, I think he's probably a lot different outside of work than his stoic personality at work), but I still miss Andy.
I don't always miss him, but I've been thinking about him more the last few days I guess. I was really missing him last night on my date, actually. During the play, I was wishing he was the one sitting next to me and that we were dating, and he would have his arm around me, and I'd have my hand on his leg, or in his other hand, and he'd smell really good... And I even suddenly started to tear up at this thought, which I quickly had to stifle, of course. I was on a date!
I still have this fantasy of him missing me so much that he calls me and tells me this and tells me he'll fly me out if I'll come.. and I would go for a few days, and it would be amazing.
Probably just a dream.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Rocking at Tinder! Haha
So I just have to say there are like 4 guys pursuing me from Tinder! This has never happened, I don't think! Haha
There's Josh, who I went out with a few days ago, we met in Sand for dinner at Chili's, when it was POURING torrential rain. It was a fun dinner, and he was cooler in person than I thought he might be. He was the one who thought I was so pretty but didn't know how to get to know me this way... oh geez. But it was a fun date. But since then, he is even worse at communicating. It's kind of pathetic. Takes forever to answer a text, not a good texter, doesn't call.
Then there's Andy, who I'm going out with tonight, to the Bees game, which should be fun. I feel like we'll probably have a good time.
But then there's McKay, who used to be in Vocal Point, and he has been the funnest to chat with. I've felt so comfortable chatting with him, like I've known him longer. And he loves what I do for work! I mean, he really appreciates my stories, and really respects my job! That is something cool. For a while I wasn't really interested romantically, and it didn't feel like he was either, that we were just chatting like good friends. I think partly because I thought he was pretty short and not my type in some ways. But then he eventually said: "Here's the thing. And...maybe I'm a weirdo. If so, please tell me to scram. But I tinder to meet people, and I'd love to meet you! So maybe if you could send me your number I could give you a call sometime!" I was totally flattered and impressed. That was way cool of him.
So then last night, I stayed up watching youtube videos of Vocal Point when they were on the Sing-Off, and I don't think he's as short as I was thinking, and seems like a really cool guy. So now I'm...pretty interested, you could say, haha. And he called me today! And we're going out on Tues! I'm pretty excited.
Just can't think too far ahead, can't think too far ahead. Can't get crazy over this.
He seems to have a semi-build upper body, which is nice, but maybe some skinny-ish legs. So, we'll have to see. Normally I like guys with legs bigger than mine, since that is my main point of self-consciousness, but I'm trying to be open. And Andy didn't have the biggest legs either, and I ended up basically in love with him. So I'm trying not to make it a deal breaker.
But the other thing is the shoes. I think I saw some converse on McKay's feet in one of the clips...oh dear... :)
The other guy is Collin, who I have like 28 likes (from facebook) in common with, which is way more than I think I've ever seen with any other guy! We've been chatting some, but then he went to Bear Lake recently, and was like, "Catch me on text, I'm going to Bear Lake and might lose signal" and gave me his number. But I wasn't so inclined to just text him. If he would have asked for MY number, to text me, that would have been different. And he was fine to chat with, but not like way super fun like my old Andy, or now McKay have been.
There's Josh, who I went out with a few days ago, we met in Sand for dinner at Chili's, when it was POURING torrential rain. It was a fun dinner, and he was cooler in person than I thought he might be. He was the one who thought I was so pretty but didn't know how to get to know me this way... oh geez. But it was a fun date. But since then, he is even worse at communicating. It's kind of pathetic. Takes forever to answer a text, not a good texter, doesn't call.
Then there's Andy, who I'm going out with tonight, to the Bees game, which should be fun. I feel like we'll probably have a good time.
But then there's McKay, who used to be in Vocal Point, and he has been the funnest to chat with. I've felt so comfortable chatting with him, like I've known him longer. And he loves what I do for work! I mean, he really appreciates my stories, and really respects my job! That is something cool. For a while I wasn't really interested romantically, and it didn't feel like he was either, that we were just chatting like good friends. I think partly because I thought he was pretty short and not my type in some ways. But then he eventually said: "Here's the thing. And...maybe I'm a weirdo. If so, please tell me to scram. But I tinder to meet people, and I'd love to meet you! So maybe if you could send me your number I could give you a call sometime!" I was totally flattered and impressed. That was way cool of him.
So then last night, I stayed up watching youtube videos of Vocal Point when they were on the Sing-Off, and I don't think he's as short as I was thinking, and seems like a really cool guy. So now I'm...pretty interested, you could say, haha. And he called me today! And we're going out on Tues! I'm pretty excited.
Just can't think too far ahead, can't think too far ahead. Can't get crazy over this.
He seems to have a semi-build upper body, which is nice, but maybe some skinny-ish legs. So, we'll have to see. Normally I like guys with legs bigger than mine, since that is my main point of self-consciousness, but I'm trying to be open. And Andy didn't have the biggest legs either, and I ended up basically in love with him. So I'm trying not to make it a deal breaker.
But the other thing is the shoes. I think I saw some converse on McKay's feet in one of the clips...oh dear... :)
The other guy is Collin, who I have like 28 likes (from facebook) in common with, which is way more than I think I've ever seen with any other guy! We've been chatting some, but then he went to Bear Lake recently, and was like, "Catch me on text, I'm going to Bear Lake and might lose signal" and gave me his number. But I wasn't so inclined to just text him. If he would have asked for MY number, to text me, that would have been different. And he was fine to chat with, but not like way super fun like my old Andy, or now McKay have been.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Andy's gone, new Tinder times
Just realized it's been a whole month since I've written in here..woops.
So Andy moved to DC the day we headed up to Bear Lake for our family reunion, on July 14. It had been hard, and I cried in the car for a moment on the way up there, but that's the last time I've cried over him I think. We texted that morning, as he was packing and I was getting ready to go to Bear Lake, and after we texted a bit I felt better about things, specifically about not having gotten to see him one more time before he left. I really had wanted to, and I think he had too, but I was working during both of his goodbye parties he had, which he was bummed about, and then it just didn't work out to see him otherwise, before he left. But it's okay, I'm doing okay. I miss him, lots of things about him, but I feel like I've also been able to get glimpses (like has happened in the past through all this) of that he's probably not the one. But lately, like the past couple weeks I've been missing him and thinking about him more than just after he left. And I felt like maybe there was a reason for that, and maybe he was missing me too, and this really isn't the end for us. And I would daydream about him calling me and telling me he misses me and wants to fly me out there to see him, and of me arriving and our hug, which would be amazing, and just getting to spend time with him. I would do it. And it would be so fun.
But I don't know, I kind of doubt that he is thinking like that.
But I've been back on Tinder, that dating app that we love and we hate, and at first it was totally annoying and discouraging and I was SO unimpressed with all the guys on there, including all the ones who were chatting with me. Talk about lame conversations.. but it has recently gotten better, and I even went out with a guy, Josh, the other night, from Tinder. He doesn't have great texting conversational skills, but more than once he told me I am so pretty, and so beautiful, and that he would love to get to know me better. And who doesn't want to go out with someone who thinks they're beautiful?? I don't get told this by guys, like ever, so I wanted to meet this guy. And it was fun, I paid for dinner because he left his debit card at work on accident, haha, but it was fun, and he wasn't as bad or socially awkward in person as on Tinder. And he wants to do something again, at least to pay me back, haha, and I hope we do, I think he's really cute. He's actually probably the cutest guy I've ever gone out with, especially that wants to go out again. But the last day or two he hasn't been great at responding via text, it's weird. Whatever, we'll see.
But I'm going out with another guy, Andy (ha, another Andy), on Sat. We're going to the Bees game, only because I told him I like going to baseball games in the summer. So I'm excited. We have a lot in common, I'm not sure if we totally click, he's been kind of funny on Tinder, and he seems slightly stiff, at least on the phone this morning. But we'll see, should be fun.
Anyway, I'm still laying in bed after waking up, after working last night. And I work again tonight (and tomorrow night), so I better get up and get ready.
So Andy moved to DC the day we headed up to Bear Lake for our family reunion, on July 14. It had been hard, and I cried in the car for a moment on the way up there, but that's the last time I've cried over him I think. We texted that morning, as he was packing and I was getting ready to go to Bear Lake, and after we texted a bit I felt better about things, specifically about not having gotten to see him one more time before he left. I really had wanted to, and I think he had too, but I was working during both of his goodbye parties he had, which he was bummed about, and then it just didn't work out to see him otherwise, before he left. But it's okay, I'm doing okay. I miss him, lots of things about him, but I feel like I've also been able to get glimpses (like has happened in the past through all this) of that he's probably not the one. But lately, like the past couple weeks I've been missing him and thinking about him more than just after he left. And I felt like maybe there was a reason for that, and maybe he was missing me too, and this really isn't the end for us. And I would daydream about him calling me and telling me he misses me and wants to fly me out there to see him, and of me arriving and our hug, which would be amazing, and just getting to spend time with him. I would do it. And it would be so fun.
But I don't know, I kind of doubt that he is thinking like that.
But I've been back on Tinder, that dating app that we love and we hate, and at first it was totally annoying and discouraging and I was SO unimpressed with all the guys on there, including all the ones who were chatting with me. Talk about lame conversations.. but it has recently gotten better, and I even went out with a guy, Josh, the other night, from Tinder. He doesn't have great texting conversational skills, but more than once he told me I am so pretty, and so beautiful, and that he would love to get to know me better. And who doesn't want to go out with someone who thinks they're beautiful?? I don't get told this by guys, like ever, so I wanted to meet this guy. And it was fun, I paid for dinner because he left his debit card at work on accident, haha, but it was fun, and he wasn't as bad or socially awkward in person as on Tinder. And he wants to do something again, at least to pay me back, haha, and I hope we do, I think he's really cute. He's actually probably the cutest guy I've ever gone out with, especially that wants to go out again. But the last day or two he hasn't been great at responding via text, it's weird. Whatever, we'll see.
But I'm going out with another guy, Andy (ha, another Andy), on Sat. We're going to the Bees game, only because I told him I like going to baseball games in the summer. So I'm excited. We have a lot in common, I'm not sure if we totally click, he's been kind of funny on Tinder, and he seems slightly stiff, at least on the phone this morning. But we'll see, should be fun.
Anyway, I'm still laying in bed after waking up, after working last night. And I work again tonight (and tomorrow night), so I better get up and get ready.
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