Because of all this, and feeling more hopeless than usual at the question of if I'll ever find someone for me and get married, plus the added stress of trying to decide which apartment to live in (29 or 27, the ones on either side of me now), on top of moving right now, I've felt like I should get a blessing today. Isaac was the first that came to mind, so despite the irony of why I wanted a blessing (being primarily about a guy, and boy problems), I called and asked him for one. He just left, and it was the most amazing blessing I've ever had.
I wish I could have recorded it, it was really long and packed with statements of peace and comfort and promises, as well as exhortations and teachings too, and Isaac is so eloquent in speech and very well versed in scripture, and so spiritual and in tune with the Spirit. Here's some of it:
Your mother (earthly) is very fond of you and very proud of you. She loves you. You need to know this at this time. And she needs you at this time. And your father loves you just as much. The Lord has much He wants to tell you at this time, and He will tell you a lot through your parents, and other loved ones. They will be an anchor in your life, through times of trial and uncertainty?
Move forward. Every minute you sit here and dwell and think and analyze, the Lord lovingly chastises? you for not moving. Move forward. As you move forward the Lord will guide you. And even if you make mistakes as you go, He will NOT let you fall.
He talked a bit about how deep within me, since before this life, is this gift? to speak the language of the Spirit, and that I should practice it, daily?, as I read the scriptures, as I talk with loved ones, and with friends..
He promised me some blessings, three or so, and the third was in my search of someone with which to start my own family.
You are in the right place. Stay where you are (I feel like this means I am supposed to move into BDA 29, where I have been debating about, and had basically decided today to buy the contract).
He mentioned another group of three or so things, and I think it was the second when he told me I'll will be financially stable
Don't ever think that your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ don't love you. Don't ever feel that you are unworthy to pray.
You are at a sea of uncertainty.
..bless you to know what to do with work and school.. you feel alone, you don't know who to turn to (that got me, because I often don't. I don't really have a best friend right now. Lots of good friends, but no best friend. Isaac is my closest guy friend, but we only confide in each other every now and then. We only see each other at planned activities usually. I hope we can become closer and closer and just talk a lot, as good friends.)
He referenced Joseph Smith, when he felt alone, and couldn't be with the saints, and was facing a sea of uncertainty. Also Adam and Eve, as they were kicked out of the Garden, they came to a vast desert before them, and as well faced a sea of uncertainty.
Be flattered that you are going through this, like the prophets of old, their trials strengthened them...
He kept quoting the verse and promise that God will not give any commandment, save He shall prepare a way for me to accomplish that which He has commanded.
One day, when you are looking down on all your posterity, you will think back to this time, to this moment, and smile.
The Lord knows what you want. Even better than you know. He knows what you most want, and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want you to draw close to them.
Jesus Christ is a real being. The Book of Mormon is true. Christ went through everything so that He could better understand and know how to succor you. His Atonement is not just to cover sin, but to heal all things...
(about the Atonement) Do what is hard and kneel, alone and aloud, and pray to your Heavenly Father, and.. (pray to know how the Atonement can heal you)
It will heal your broken heart
Always strive to work on your testimony of the Restoration. Then he mentioned the person who I will marry will be..prepared for you..? and I will then be worthy of that blessing (so I feel like Heavenly Father wants me to grow in the Gospel and come closer to Them, and better myself and move forward (which the blessing told me again, grouped with what I'm saying) and that basically the time would come when these blessings will be realized). And that that/those blessings will be greater than I could ever even imagine (that was encouraging and exciting).
Your family loves you, you also have a lot of friends who love you.
He talked about the Lord being pleased with my work and sacrifice and time put in to building wards..
...the Kingdom of God, because you are a part of it. He said something about that I am or I will be a great woman. He emphasized great.
I bless you with an added measure of peace.
_____
Isaac is amazing. One of the sweetest parts of the blessing was that about half way through or so, as I had been crying from nearly the beginning, he began to be emotional too, and was strongly sniffling by the end. I was really touched. I don't know why, but it meant a lot. Afterwards, as he was leaving, after I had really thanked him for it, he sincerely thanked me for asking him to; then as we both stood in the doorway he told me that he needed that as well. We both stood there, looking at each other, and he said that it's really interesting, or surprising to him sometimes, what he feels prompted to say. I agreed. I told him that some things that I have recently been concerned about, but that I hadn't even thought about today (my relationship with Camille, specifically), he addressed. That was really neat. But as far as my relationship with Camille, I just haven't felt as close to her lately. Sally is really my only sibling that calls me regularly, and I'm so grateful for her for that. I wish Camille called me more, and that she asked more about my life and specifically boy happenings. But I have always been the type that if I don't get asked about stuff, I often won't just talk about things, about myself, because I feel like no one cares to hear it. Anyway, I have just been wishing more than ever lately that Camille would call me more, and ask me about stuff.
But back to Isaac and the blessing, yeah, it was absolutely amazing. That was one of two blessings that will probably always stick out in my head. The other one being the blessing President Hutchings gave me one day during my interview with him, when I was struggling so bad with forgiving Sister Arnell for how she treated me.
Anyway, Isaac and I have really neat connections. Part of me wishes even more that something could happen between us, because we've shared some neat experiences and conversations. But I know that whatever is supposed to happen will.
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