So then by Wed, after I wrote that email, I felt SO much better about everything. Miraculously. And I mean that in all seriousness. Because on Monday night when I was a total wreck over this and my heart was broken, I thought to myself, I may never get over this. Or at least it was probably going to take a loooonng time to. So the fact that I felt pretty great about things 2 days later was such a blessing and miracle.
Since then things have been fine, I just miss him. A lot. Sometimes to tears. I miss being with him, and I hate that I know we both like being together, and days like today, the 4th of July, it feels so natural that we should spend it together, but that it's not like that. I finally caved and invited him to the Stadium of Fire (which I did not end up going to b/c I couldn't find anyone to go with me to scalp tickets, everyone already had plans), but he already had plans (he was going with his sister). I just really wanted to see him.
But it's okay, after that, I was kind of frustrated, and I just feel done. I'm done trying, I'm done with him. I love him and miss him and want to date him, and he just isn't returning those feelings, which I can't force, but it's hard. I just miss him.
And I want to be dating someone so bad. So bad. I'm so done with girls right now. I love Jamie, she's amazing, but I just have no desire to see her lately, or hang out with her. I feel so introverted right now, and I think it's because of these dating issues. I don't know.
I better go to bed though.
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