So many frustrations, I just want to get out of here so bad

So many thoughts and not enough time..I need to go to bed, I work in the morning..but I need to get a few things out.
I'm still struggling with life. Feeling better than I was a few days or a week ago. Things are better here at home, but still wish Mom and Dad would ask me about things, like to tell them what's on my mind. There's so much on my mind and I feel like I have no one to talk to. Sally and I were texting a little yesterday (Sunday), and I mentioned the weekend was hard, so she was going to call me last night, but then I was at work, so she told me to call her after work this morning if I felt like it, which I did. I was actually really looking forward to talking to her, and having a good listening ear and soundboard that I could talk to about all these things on my mind: the dating/being alone frustration and struggle, the thoughts I've been having about WHY I've been feeling this way and what has possibly led up to it, the Jamie frustration and dilemma, wanting to move but not sure where or when, the Taiwan option, coming down to Texas for a good stay in Oct., etc. And after we talked all about the Davidson reunion she just recovered from down there, she asked why the weekend was hard, and I started telling her about my frustrations and struggles with being alone right now, and how being with the family for the baptism and such this weekend just made it harder, and that I am so tired of being alone, etc, and I started crying, of course. And she listened for a few minutes as I vented and explained, and then as soon as I kind of stopped for a minute, she immediately started into asking if I've been taking care of myself. Have I been eating? Exercising? Getting sleep? I was so irritated by that. And then she suggested that maybe I have some depression, that it sounds like depression.
And I know that could be a possibility, but that is NOT what I needed to hear right then. Why does me being sad about things automatically mean I'm not doing something I should be? Maybe this trial is something that is legitimately hard to deal with..! I'm so frustrated about this. What happened to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort..? After she told me all about her frustrations with the reunion, I didn't immediately say, well maybe if you had been getting more sleep and exercising.. I just need a listening ear and some sympathy! That's all I want right now. I don't need anyone to fix me, I'm so sick of that. And I think one of the hardest parts of this conversation was that I was so hoping and planning that it would be such a needed conversation, and one that I felt so much better after. She was going to be my safe place, my sanctuary. And it definitely didn't turn out that way.
I've decided it's next to impossible to get someone who is married to understand what it's like, and how hard it sometimes is, to be this age and still single. And I feel like I need to lower my expectations and stop hoping someone in my family will try to understand me. Dad has done the best at this, surprisingly. And I've been very grateful. I feel like he's been my main ally through this recently. But even tonight, he asked me how I am, and I said okay, and that's about where we left that. And mom asked me if I was feeling better tonight, and I said..yes and no...and that's where that stopped too. I feel like Mom just wants me to be better, to be fixed. And she's not really sure what to do if I'm still not. Ask me HOW I'm doing! Ask me what's on my mind! I so wish someone would! Because like I've told them before and especially recently, I just want to be listened to, and I won't talk if I'm not asked, because I feel like no one cares enough to listen then.
I'm just so frustrated. And maybe I do have too high of expectations. Maybe I'm hoping for too much, wanting someone in my family to be what I need. But I don't know what else to do, who else to talk to. In Camille's defense, she's been better than some, but she's so busy with her kids.
I just wish I had someone to talk to. There's Jamie, but she always slightly irritates me. And we still talk sometimes, we talked a lot about dating and these frustrations we both have and about our life situations for a while yesterday during and after church, and that was nice, but other than that, I just don't have a lot of desire to talk to her or be with her a ton. She thinks it's because I just want to do my own thing right now. Which is partly true. But it's true because there's no one I really want to do anything WITH.
I've kind of decided too that I think I just need to start lying. Start faking it. Stop being so honest with people, and just fake that I'm fine. And maybe it will be true soon. And I will stop being disappointed when the family just doesn't react how I need them to.
And with that, I feel like maybe it would be best if I moved out, then I won't be disappointed when mom and dad don't ask me more how I am doing, and to talk about things. I just don't know where to start looking or anything. I wish I had a sister I felt comfortable moving in with right now.

That's about all for now. Need to get to bed.
I just wish I could get out of here. I'm annoyed by everything right now.

The best part of tonight was the fireside with President Featherstone, which is always good to hear him speak, he's amazing. And then talking afterwards with Katie Jenkins. She is someone I feel like I could talk to about anything. She is a great listener. I would love to live with her. I even kind of told her that, that she is someone I could live with. But she just told me tonight that she has cancer. Hodgkins Lymphoma. Found a lump in her armpit. Same as her sister had, but it's not supposed to be genetic. She is getting her 3rd session of chemo tomorrow. She'll probably shave her hair this week.  But wow, it must be so hard. But yeah, she is great to talk to.
Anway, I gotta go. Goodnight!